Two year old flagged for SEN

[Mistymeg]

Is this normal for a nursery to flag behaviour at two. Had council specialist to observe DS, says he’s louder than peers, won’t sit still for circle time, clumsy/falls over, etc. It’s upsetting as now every social occasion on egg shells and DH/me constantly sizing him up against his peers. Speech absolutely fine. Behaviour is up/down, thought normal for a two year old boy (almost 3). I flagged hat and they said it’s noticeably different and wouldn’t be doing their job to not flag early. Been referred to OT, Paediatrician also. AIBU to be upset, especially as we might have a long wait for an assessment.

It is much, much, better to get early intervention.

if you get help at this stage it can really shape their trajectory in a positive way.

it’s far worse to have it not spotted early and then really struggle to access the help your child needs.

A lot of conditions overlap.
e.g. Clumsy might indicate dyspraxia which can also have sensory sensitivity etc.
Much better to flag up early nd be 'in the system' than for things to fly under the radar.

In the meantime you can read up on strategies to help. eg Do parties 'work' for him? Or only for a short time? Maybe aim to arrive late / leave early / go for a walk outside part way through. Parents will be more understanding if they see you trying to manage things.

SALT is about far more than the physical ability to speak.

Most support in nursery, schools, etc. is based on needs rather than diagnosis. The exceptions are things like some autism specialist schools, some autism units in mainstream schools, the specialist autism teaching service in some LAs. So, while you can go private for a diagnosis, a diagnosis alone won’t change support in nursery.

My DS has ADHD (and ASD) and getting him diagnosed and medicated was a game changer, obvs you cant medicated at 2 but if you have a diagnosis then you can be waiting for him to be old enough for meds.

He's overall very pleasant and fine now but he took longer to mature from preschool immaturity to primary maturity

Sorry I meant to say it was obvious early as well (speech issues), starting school with an ehcp was very helpful

Yes interesting you say that as nursery did mention dyspraxia to me also. Again he was an early crawler, walking right on time. So this hadn’t occurred to me but he does fall over more than peers.

Being loud (not able to modulate volume) and simultaneously noise sensitive is a classic symptom of ND (I’m a SENDCo). Very often, autistic children are at the ‘extreme’ end of sensory things, so either over- or under-sensitive, there’s no ‘in the middle’ as you might expect with an NT child.

Play is an interesting one, because most play at 2 years old is playing alongside other children. You wouldn’t expect to see playing ‘with’ others.

Language can also be very telling. Autistic children might be ‘gestalt’ language processors, meaning that they suddenly put sentences together very quickly, because they are copying adult speech patterns.

Did they have your child assessed ::before:: they asked you for your consent to do so?

Do they grow out of the not being able to modulate volume? I’m so sensitive to it and I had rationalised that it’s his age and just one more year and he will be 4 and we can reason with him more. Now I’m devastated as I don’t know if it will calm down.

Yes. The assessment was a mixture between Nursey feedback and the professional observation. Between them said: - runs around after mealtimes as if to burn energy (feedback from Nursey) - mouths objects, - threw objects, - difficulty sharing and snatches, -constantly was moving, although also said he could play for a short while then moved again. Positively it said he can have a two way convo, can feed himself, can sing along to songs, plays games with friends, copies well.

lots of this does sound typical of age and gender but I’m told it’s more notable he needs support.

DS1 is still LOUD but he’s 12, so it’s not screaming and defiance. Your DS is 2 and toddlers do tend to scream, this turns into whining at around 4 years. I know this sounds a bit mad, but you could try Loop earplugs for you, and noise cancelling headphones for DS when he’s out and about? Both of mine have used these at various points.

It's right that they've flagged him up early as it does take a long time to get a diagnosis and to get the support in place. Him not being flagged up wouldn't make him any less autistic/adhd, it would just make things harder for him.

It’s understandable to feel upset but if nursery have gone out of their way to comment and bring in support, they must be genuinely concerned.

You say you think you have ADHD and neurodivergence is often genetic.

Given your son’s age, I would be going out of my way to look for the most appropriate primary school for him and take into account that it might be the most inconvenient school for you. Don’t just go with the local school or planned private school because they may not meet his needs and he will find things more difficult.

My son's nursery asked to speak to me and told me they suspect sen. I was dismissive about it, but agreed to them applying for an echp. He is now 8, and on the waiting list for asd assessment. The echp has helped him to cope better with school, so i am glad they did pick up on it.

What would an appropriate school look like? Whatever he has seems mild as he ticks some boxes for autism, adhd, dyspraxia but not all. He talks well and hit his crawling walking milestones. So I don’t think he needs a special needs school per se.

For some, their sensory issues improve. For some, they learn strategies to manage and cope with sensory issues. For others, their sensory issues change, Others always struggle to one extent or another.

Mouthing things and throwing things can also be signs of sensory needs in some. As can appearing rough with their interactions. You might find some of the ideas in this booklet useful. Also looking at some of the ideas by the occuplaytional therapist.

It’s certainly a thing as my child when he was two was also flagged and I, like you, was really surprised. In our case we ended up seeing SALT and a paediatrician who decided he was fine. He’s now a teenager and whilst I think he’s probably subtly on the spectrum, it doesn’t impact him.

just go with it and let them do what they need to do.

The fact the nursery have flagged issues up is something you should be very grateful for. If there are issues, then the earlier it's detected, the quicker you can receive support, especially for school. It's far better to have support in place ready for school, than waiting until your child is at school or because the nursery didn't pick up issues. It's then a hard, slow process. It doesn't mean your child won't and can't thrive, SEN is a very wide spectrum, with huge variations between children. Work with the nursery, and remember that the staff are trained to flag up concerns. They don't flag up issues for the sake of it!

I didn’t mean a special school and even some very complex disabilities can take a year or more to battle for one. I just mean a quieter school, perhaps one form intake, with a supportive SENCO, a reputation for being proactive about making any adjustments to help your child.

Have a look online and you can see the number of children on a SEN register for a school. Don’t be put off by some with higher numbers as it usually means a supportive school that parents seek out for their child. Go and view it, ask nursery to provide a short summary of their concerns to take with you, and chat to the staff. I have three children with autism and two are flourishing in supportive mainstream schools (admittedly one has an EHCP) and only one of them has needed a specialist school, but that was further down the line than Reception.

Yes this is very normal. Our eldest didn’t start nursery until 3 and they noticed right away that she couldn’t navigate between two pieces of furniture without bumping into something, she couldn’t sit still during circle time. I didn’t notice anything at home apart from she didn’t sleep. She didn’t get diagnosed (dual diagnosis) until 5 and by that point her behaviour was so bad I was drinking a bottle of wine a night. I wish I’d pushed for earlier diagnosis but I put my head in the sand.

I know you mention speech but speech often has little to do with autism. My daughters speech has always been excellent.

OP,
You asked about private diagnosis. I don't think it's worth it tbh. Just assume that he is for the purposes of looking at a different set of parenting books.

Really recommend How to Talk So Small Kids Listen - not specifically an autism book but it's a great book for everyone, and several of the authors have autistic kids. Beware absolute awful grifting shit on Facebook. So many people selling terrible 'advice'.

Also worth a look at your local authority's Local Offer page. You'll find a local support group there which will be a good place to get the low down on local primaries.

Sorry to hear it was so hard when she was 5. How old is she now? And how are things now?

Assuming your daughter has been diagnosed with autism. Did they provide insight into where on the sliding scale she sits? Nursery said that’s important to assess.

And what are the solutions you have now she is diagnosed that would have helped had you had her diagnosed earlier? I was of the understanding 4 was the minimum age for diagnosis.

Thank you, great advice will look into this book. And also assume he is and do some research.

4 is definitely not the minimum age for diagnosis.

This is an American website but it is correct in that while some children are diagnosed very young, age 2 is often a point where children are referred.

https://www.cdc.gov/autism/diagnosis/index.html

you said speech is absolutely fine. At 2, this is a very wide range. How much does he say and what does he understand? Is is just 2 or closer to 3?

both of mine have SN. Good that you have an observant nursery. I had to fight all along the way so them flagging up things is a good thing.