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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not buy a bigger house?

68 replies

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:25

So just not to drip feed, me and DH have 3 children aged 12, 9 and 3 (girl,boy,girl). We purchased our first house which was a 3 bedroom semi detached, it wasn't the dream house more of an investment, do it up, sell it and then buy our dream home. We've now been here 3.5 years and it's coming along nicely.
So the issue is, is bedrooms for our children. I fell unexpectedly pregnant with our youngest a month after we moved in, and she is still in our room as it's quite a large bedroom but ideally needs to go in with her sister soon (12 year old also has a fairly large room whereas our son has the box room). It doesn't feel right to put a 12 and 3 year old in the same room but it's tough luck at the moment. We hope to move in 2 years time as scheduled, but looking at rightmove currently all the 4 bed houses are absolutely horrible, all very small or in horrible areas or the nicer ones are just far too expensive, but the larger 3 bed houses with big gardens and ideal location and within our budget are perfect and what we always wanted.

So my AIBU question is, has anyone purchased a house that technically wasn't big enough I.e not enough rooms for each child, but did a sort of extension/granny flat? This is what me and DH are thinking, save the thousands on a crappy 4 bed, buy a nicer 3 bed but spend the money saved and create a space for the oldest child. It wouldn't be like an extra house, more of an outhouse that has an ensuite so she has a toilet in the night etc. it's also somewhere she can stay for for a very long time and not rush to move out when she hits her 20's. Is this a great idea or a terrible idea? I'm aware of the annoyance of her having to walk outside to get into the actual house for food etc but I'm trying to think of every option here, it would be much appreciated to hear from people that have actually done this and if it worked well for everyone.

OP posts:
YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 30/08/2025 19:29

I think it sounds crap to be honest, sorry. A loft conversion would be better. Or a proper extension with a downstairs bedroom. Or convert a dining room into a bedroom. I’d be worried about the safety of a 12yo effectively sleeping in the garden. Even if she’s technically safe she might feel scared at times in the middle of the night.

Awrite · 30/08/2025 19:29

I would imagine that it's not legal to put a child in a garden room. I suspect she wouldn't like it either.

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:31

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 30/08/2025 19:29

I think it sounds crap to be honest, sorry. A loft conversion would be better. Or a proper extension with a downstairs bedroom. Or convert a dining room into a bedroom. I’d be worried about the safety of a 12yo effectively sleeping in the garden. Even if she’s technically safe she might feel scared at times in the middle of the night.

I appreciate that, I want honest answers so thank you. Yes when you put to like that it does make me feel a bit worried but I thought she would quite like it to have that independence

OP posts:
LavenderBlue19 · 30/08/2025 19:32

Why not just buy somewhere with the capacity to extend properly or do a loft conversion? I wouldn't be putting a teenage girl in a bedroom that isn't connected to the rest of the house.

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:34

LavenderBlue19 · 30/08/2025 19:32

Why not just buy somewhere with the capacity to extend properly or do a loft conversion? I wouldn't be putting a teenage girl in a bedroom that isn't connected to the rest of the house.

My DH also mentioned doing an extension/conversion on the house to give her her own room but she wouldn't be getting an ensuite in that case. Has anyone had anything like this before?

OP posts:
wondererannie · 30/08/2025 19:34

A loft conversion as pp suggested or even a garage you can convert to a snug ?

wondererannie · 30/08/2025 19:35

Or 3 bed with a dining room you can use as a bedroom ?
Do you have a dining room now you could use ?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/08/2025 19:35

Not sure if I’ve misunderstood, but if you buy the house when she’s 15 and then begin an extension she’s going to spend the rest of her school life sharing a bedroom surely? It’s a long time to wait at that age, especially just to get put in the garden. Find a 3 bed with a dining room you can convert or accept your 4 bed budget is my advice.

fruitbrewhaha · 30/08/2025 19:36

You have to get planning permission for outbuildings to have plumbing and to be permanently habitable. Plus a build of this kind is not going to come cheap. It will need to insulated and have heating. I can’t imagine you’d get much change from £40k.

How much extra is the dream house? The problem with looking now to make a plan is you don’t know who much these houses will be in three years. House prices are a bit flat now but could be on the rise again by then. So if your next jump up is £200k it could be £250k by then.

Building work has got very expensive the last few years. I wouldn’t by a house with a view to extend anymore. Cosmetic work ok but not building. I don’t think it’s a good investment.

Shellyash · 30/08/2025 19:38

Don't limit yourself be putting 3,4,5 bed into rightmove, you often find something that can be adapted or extended or utilise loftspace.
Really important for kids to have their own space, and property never goes down in value so worth stretching as much as feasible.

lavendarwillow · 30/08/2025 19:40

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:34

My DH also mentioned doing an extension/conversion on the house to give her her own room but she wouldn't be getting an ensuite in that case. Has anyone had anything like this before?

Most loft conversions include en-suites. If your loft pitch is suitable, this would be the most sensible option to create that extra bedroom.

user1476613140 · 30/08/2025 19:41

If you have an extra reception room use it to convert into a bedroom.

NotABeliever · 30/08/2025 19:44

We have an annexe and it was meant to be my eldest son’s bedroom but he didn’t sleep in it until he was 15 or 16. He wouldn’t admit it but he was scared to be there at night.

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:47

Unfortunately we don't have a dining room just a large kitchen diner, the garden is too small to extend.

We did look at loft conversation, I think the roof is too low? As that would have been an option before

OP posts:
YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 30/08/2025 19:47

She doesn’t need an en-suite.

Honestly with a teenager the last thing you want is giving them ammunition for various “you hated me so much you made me live in the garden “ type arguments

plus teens as they get older spend a lot of time in their rooms. But at least they’re in the house vaguely connected to the wider family. Not isolated down the garden all evening.

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:48

NotABeliever · 30/08/2025 19:44

We have an annexe and it was meant to be my eldest son’s bedroom but he didn’t sleep in it until he was 15 or 16. He wouldn’t admit it but he was scared to be there at night.

Oh that's interesting, something to think about too then

OP posts:
Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 19:49

What's wrong with the 4 beds?

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 30/08/2025 19:49

I'd go for a big 3-bedroom place with potential for a loft conversion, or maybe a garage conversion IF it's connected to the house.
Forget en suites, 2-3 loos + 2-3 bath/showerooms.

cannynotsay · 30/08/2025 19:51

We’re just extending our house and making rooms for the kids, why have you jumped to a granny house! Awks

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:56

cannynotsay · 30/08/2025 19:51

We’re just extending our house and making rooms for the kids, why have you jumped to a granny house! Awks

Because I can't extend here! The garden isn't big enough to extend out and a loft conversion wouldn't work, I think we are so many centimeters out. Why is it 'awks' I thought my daughter would be thrilled to have her own little place, what a silly phrase to have used. I'm asking for advice from people not judgement.

OP posts:
Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 19:57

Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 19:49

What's wrong with the 4 beds?

Unfortunately the houses in the area are not very nice or completely out of our budget by 50k. However larger 3 bed houses are very nice and in our budget

OP posts:
blueclip · 30/08/2025 20:00

It shouldn’t be the 12yo’s tough luck. You had another baby without having space, so you keep 3yo in your room. Unless of course the 12yo doesn’t mind. But she shouldn’t have to pay for your choices.

Onekissisallittakes · 30/08/2025 20:02

blueclip · 30/08/2025 20:00

It shouldn’t be the 12yo’s tough luck. You had another baby without having space, so you keep 3yo in your room. Unless of course the 12yo doesn’t mind. But she shouldn’t have to pay for your choices.

I mean tough luck as in my 3 year old deserves to have a bedroom too so she does need to go in there soon. I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I'm trying so hard to think of different options so she can have her own space.

OP posts:
IOSTT · 30/08/2025 20:02

People have posted on previous threads about ways to turn a large double room into two smaller rooms - this sounds like a better solution for you.

SENsupportplease · 30/08/2025 20:03

Get a larger three bed with 2 reception rooms, or a garage, or space for loft conversion and do an internal conversion?

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