Rubbish gift from MIL

[MyBabyAteTheDingo]

Son’s 19th birthday today, mil dropped his gift round. It’s a free Jesus audio CD that she receives from some Christian subscription.

I'm fucking fuming on his behalf. He has no interest in religion. This from a woman who spends over £300 on a small tube of eye wrinkle cream so money’s not the issue here. They get on well so I’m just puzzled at this.

I know it’s the thought that matters but this seems more like an insult.
She’ll be calling later so any suggestions on how to respond to this?

Reminds me of the random gift I got from my grandma when I was at medical school - she sent me a copy of her gallbladder ultrasound scan report in my birthday card

My parents both have a diagnosis of dementia.

It started about 5 years ago when my Dad started doing stuff where we'd go "That's a bit weird!"

Like, he kept giving us random DVDs to watch even when we said that we never have time to watch TV he just never seemed to get it! He'd insist on us taking the DVD and we eventually do so to keep the peace but then he'd keep asking if we'd watched the film.

We kept repeating kindly that we were so snowed under with the kids that we never get a moment for TV, so no, we haven't watched it. But then he'd ask again and again. He just didn't seem to understand!

Then he started banging on about how much he liked a particular politician and how he was going to vote for him in the next election when he'd actually previously absolutely HATED that particular politician. We were like "eh?"🤔

So, it wouldn't surprise me that such a weirdly random gift could be one of the early signs...

Have you considered that she gave him the cd BECAUSE she loves him and as he's leaving for uni, she is perhaps concerned about his soul?

Although she really should've given something else with it.

I'm not defending her but she may have had very sincere intentions. Try not to be offended.

Just laugh it off. Is it really that big of a deal? She is a terrible gift giver - make it the inside family joke.

This…with an added “(Son) was so taken with it I thought you’d appreciate a copy of your own”.

This is the only solution really 😆

I find so many MNers have odd reactions like this. In real life some people give less than ideal presents, so what? Most people understand this, say thank you, and move on. Surely by the age of 19 OP's son should be over being "gutted" by an unsuitable gift from a grandparent.

One Christmas out of the blue, everyone in the family received ‘normal’ presents but my maternal grandmother gave me a pencil case that belonged to my much younger cousin that she’d left behind at her house. I was in my mid 20s. It was one of the first signs of her dementia. We didn’t recognise it at the time because mine was the only gift out of the ordinary.
Don’t assume there’s bad intent behind your MILs gift giving.

Mad suggestion.

Definitely this! 😂

This ^^
if it's out of character/not her sense of humour, to give a gift like this,I'd be concerned about her and,if possible, would be visiting her ASAP to check on her.

Honestly, who the hell would appreciate a religious CD that the giver received as a free gift, particularly a non-religious 19 year old? It's worse than no gift at all.

A free Jesus audio CD??? I wonder who gives a gift that they got as a freebie when the recipient knows it's a freebie??? Also, who has a CD player today? But it's the religious element that freaks me out. It's fine to get a crap gift and laugh it off, but not to get a gift that's trying to convert you. Sympathy and shudders...

I agree. If MIL is generally someone who gives "normal" gifts, this is a potential 'brain change' sign

What an odd remark. Most mothers are likely to become mothers-in-law. Do they change species when their children partner off? Or do older women just not merit being treated as individuals any more?

And also now my Dad gives us random presents that he likes as his way of showing us love.

He nips to the local shops and picks up free newspapers. I never go home from visiting his house without being given a free newspaper.

We have learnt to just go with it and express joy at being given the newspaper like it was just what we always wanted.

He picks several copies up for the people that he likes in a couple of shops so they get regular deliveries. I've been in to explain the situation and so they understand and also thank him for the newspaper. They get random boxes of sweets too.

I get bin bags.😁And I was recently presented with a new hoover. Every time I see him he checks to see if I'm using my new hoover and to see how much I like it 😍He bought one especially for my sister in law too!😁

So, if it is the beginning of dementia, it actually could be her way of showing deep love with the logic being "I absolutely love this religious product. I must get it for my grandson so he can enjoy it too". With dementia, all sense of reason and logic goes out the window.

I'd strongly recommend that your DH sorts out Power of Attorney now while she's generally compos mentis still. It has saved our family a whole lot of hassle when our lives are dominated by running a second household, meds, doctors appointments, 'emergencies' like lost glasses when they're sitting on top of our Dad's head etc

That's the best thing, that he is oblivious to his diagnosis. He doesn't understand much but he knows that if there's a problem, he can always call one of his kids knowing that we will help. Just like we could always rely on him in that way well into our 30's. Bloody hell I love him so much!

@Wallyput “He nips to the local shops and picks up free newspapers. I never go home from visiting his house without being given a free newspaper.”

To be honest I’d quite like this as I never have any old newspaper to put down to protect surfaces when doing messy jobs or safely wrapping up some broken glassware to go in the bin.

For my 21st my Grandparents told me that I would be getting a very very special gift.I was a new mum 30 years ago and I thought it would be a holiday , it was a vase.
I still use it and now it has special meaning but back then 😬🫣

Was going say something similar maybe perhaps she's not her self could be the start of dementia

One year my ex mil gave me a pickled baby shark in a test tube, with the words ‘souvenir from Tenerife’ on it.
I think her ‘gift’ had a double meaning! 🤣🤣🤣

That’s brilliant and really made me laugh

Surely accidental. I bet she was looking for that everywhere!

It is a strange gift, if she is religious there is a lot of other stuff she could have given him especially if he is moving away from home. To me it sounds like a daft way of pointing out that she isn't doing 'proper gifts now he is over 18. Some people do this when they have lots of grandkids. Perhaps she thought he could listen to it whilst living away from home if feeling lonely?

If he laughed it off and has already sent a thanks text then I dont think there is anything for you to do. If she mentions it you could say that he couldn't actually listen to it as he doesn't have a cd player, perhaps she didn't make the connection?

It's BECAUSE he has no interest. She's trying to convert him. I get that it's not a point of view you share, but from hers, what greater gift could there possibly be than saving someone's soul?

Could she have given two presents at the same time of similar sizes and given his present to someone else?