Rubbish gift from MIL

[MyBabyAteTheDingo]

Son’s 19th birthday today, mil dropped his gift round. It’s a free Jesus audio CD that she receives from some Christian subscription.

I'm fucking fuming on his behalf. He has no interest in religion. This from a woman who spends over £300 on a small tube of eye wrinkle cream so money’s not the issue here. They get on well so I’m just puzzled at this.

I know it’s the thought that matters but this seems more like an insult.
She’ll be calling later so any suggestions on how to respond to this?

I am old , remember one of my parents gave me a strange present at 21 , mum and dad where older ,so l got a pair of scissors, it turned out mum had dimentia just a thought is de mum ok no nasty comments just a thought.

Maybe she is getting dementia. It’s exactly the kind of thing my mother may have done in the first stages . Be kind.

That seems quite bonkers,I would wonder if it’s not an early sign of dementia. Do let us know if and how she explains it.

Weird - your teen kids I could understand as a joke. If she doesn’t get you an equivalent and gets him great presents and you and your kids shit ones it’s perhaps a silent protest at your relationship with her darling boy

OP I'm completely with you on this. Tbh I'd be asking her directly what she was thinking and why a 19 year old would want it? I'm very direct though. Would love to hear her excuses considering she's not poor or stupid.

I would have to play the long game and tell her we have become a family "extremely devout" Christians - all thanks to her thoughtful gift. Really go for it. Start judging every aspect of her life, shake my head and tell her Jesus wouldn't approve over everything she does, make her sit through uncomfortably long prayers before any meal she's at and don't forget to repeatedly thank her over and over (and over) for her life changing gift.

She what???!!😂😂

funky MIL. Send her a text to thanks and move on. Gifts and especially good ones aren’t to be expected lol!

Before kids, my mother in law always used to gift me a toiletry spray set which would usually just sit in the cupboard. After kids, my husband and I don’t get any gifts, not even a birthday card! The kids don’t really get gifts, but they get money put into their isa accounts. My step mother in law once bought me and my sister-in-law sexy lingerie for Christmas - I definitely would have preferred the spay set when we opened it in front of the whole family 🤣. Some people are just extremely rubbish at gifts!

Your son's an adult. He won't want you being picky or having strong opinions on his gifts, however weird. It just isn't your concern. Mortifying for your son. I was irritated even at age 10 when my mother flipped over a present I'd been given. I thought the only person who should have had an opinion was me.

My friend received M & S clothes for 2 daughters. Took them back for a credit notes and they said "sorry but these haven't been on sale for over 3 years you cant return them"

Regift it back to her at Christmas.

I can't beat a jesus CD, (for which I feel truly hard done by on behalf of your son) but my ex mil gave me probably the ugliest mohair stole that ever had the misfortune to be made. What made it 'extra' special was the photo of her draped in it that took front and centre on the mantlepiece. So not only was it hideous, it was one of her cast-offs.😂

I wish you hadn't pointed that out 😊 The more I think about it now, the sadder it gets! 😞😢

This!

Yes, I was wondering that too. The only REAL study he will need to do, etc. And in an indestructible format that he can play repeatedly on rising each morning for his bracing cold shower!

Are you serious? Grandson is 19 and can't have a word with his own gran if he doesn't like the (admittedly shit) present?

It’s a bit of a weird gift if MIL’s previously given him things he’d actually like.

It’d be one thing if she had a habit of giving shit gifts, but if this is new I’d be all WTF as well.
I’d be wanting to ask what it was all about, but in reality I’d probably be doing my best to bite my lip because getting into an argument about it wouldn’t do anyone any good.

I think it’s quite sad actually and my kids would feel a bit bewildered. To have fairly standard presents like air pods and vouchers to then a free religious CD is a big step. It’s not even a token gift because he can’t use it.

could it be a joke??

It’s a rubbish gift but maybe it’s all she can afford. It’s also a lesson that a gift is just a gift. You should not expect a certain level of gift. When I was younger I was stabbed 4 times (I was in the police). Shortly afterwards my in-laws bought me a set of knives for Xmas. (I freaked out). The following year they bought me a small ball of twine. My wife got a 99p show polisher. They don’t mean anything by it. It’s just them being them.

Sounds like my MiL. She once said to me “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but I would much rather spend money on myself than my grandchildren”

It's a horrible gift, when she knows he is not religious. I think it's an insult to the young man really. Even a packet of biscuits would've been better. I'd be so cross I'd have to say something.

Deadpan reply. “I do understand that your mind may not be what it once was. You appear to have inadvertently wrapped something you intended to bin by accident. Could you please rummage through your bins in case that is where you misplaced his birthday gift?”

In my family gifts for birthdays from extended family stopped at 18. So just say thank you and move on.

Say thank you and leave it.
She might think it's a brilliant CD that he would get a lot out of.
If you don't like it just say thanks and leave it.
We have all had gifts we didn't like. I was brought up to smile and say thank you. The end.

I think you need to tell her that it’s not his thing and he doesn’t own a cd player. Ask her if she can return it for a refund and get him something else…. Mayne saying that will make her think about the fact it was a free gift to her…..
or ask your DP to ask his mother if she’s stopping gifts for your son now as his present was a free gift.
mid be pissed too and wouldn’t buy her anything too expensive again .. give that money to your son instead