To consider giving up my cushy job

[Wherewhenwhathow]

Difficult personal situation. I have 2 young kids - 1 at nursery, 1 at early primary school. A very useless DP that I am a bit stuck with for various reasons. And super alone as lost both parents, sadly. I was extremely close to them. I have a lot of friends but really struggle with having no adult to give me any care or support / help me or talk to me in the way you can with close family.

I did very, very well academically but for various reason, I have worked for years in an admin job. It has excellent benefits due to nature of sector and is well paid, lots of flexibility and no stress, plus some other excellent perks re holidays and other things. But I am not challenged at all and the job is low status. It is a bit of a trap but has suited difficult personal circumstances. I have seen a job that I might not even get but it is a civil service role and the way the application is structured means I can definitely use very good examples from a previous role and my studies to show I could do the job well. But... the pay is less, a bit of a longer commute and I'd need to work about 10 hours extra a week to make the same money as I earn part time now. Might seem insane (?) but this job would give me new skills, a new lease of life, stimulation (hopefully) and training is provided for what would be a proper career. There are 0 options for progression in current role. I think I don't have a lot of time to change career and earn anything like even what the lower salary of this job that interests me is offering because my more professional experience is getting older and older.

Feel guilty for my kids as it would mean more childcare and I have no backup if they were ill etc. DP is selfish and does v v little. One DD is very anxious so maybe needs me more than other kids

I have no one to talk this through with really so looking for opinions. Not been offered job or even finisher applying - just wondering if I am mad considering it.

I know DP is a bigger problem really but I am very alone support wise so LTB is not feasible right now (for lots of good reasons)

Career question wise, thoughts?

I was in your situation a while ago, with a few different jobs, but I always thought how can I give up the money, it's not fair for my kids, etc.

Nothing has changed 10 years later, I'm in the same going nowhere job. I feel so pathetic and bored. My friends that took risks and pay cuts 10 years ago have all worked through it and surpassed me with great careers. I know I'll retire and think it's a shame I didnt have a career.

Now I know that's easy for me to say, since I didn't take the risk. Maybe I would have hated it, maybe I wouldn't have even got those jobs. Who knows. But I wish I'd made a change.

I would keep the cushy job and get a side hustle that peaked my interest.

You appear not to have read her subsequent posts.

shes scared of the kuds well being when he has them alone . A lot if women (understandably) are, !I don't blame her.

@Wherewhenwhathow I understand why you'd want to do it & I understand those saying go for the career progression. But personally I wouldn't give up the flexibility, additional leave etc when the kids are so young & you have no support Stay where you can be more flexible if the kids need you, for now.

look at other ways to improve your situation ( don't know what to suggest as I don't know what quaks you had already

document every unsafe thing he does.

@Wherewhenwhathow @SummerFrog25 No, I hadn't read everything at the time but having done so I still don't understand why her focus is on work, particularly if it means being away from the kids for longer. I'd put my energies into documenting all the issues/gathering evidence/seeking legal advice so that he doesn't have access to the kids without supervision following separation if he is that much of a risk. A new work challenge is not what she and the kids need - an escape route is.

Hmm. Tricky. Staying in a cushy job is so easy, we understand. Tell us a bit more about the new job, because for so much extra hassle for less money it sounds risky.

What are the guarantees, does it lead to an actual proper position eg Project Manager, is there training courses, or will you actually get a ..... say eg Nebosh or CIMA qualification at the end, that you can then take onto a new job?

You should at least apply for the new job. Go for an interview, is good experience if you haven't for a while.

I am in a similar position. Most people would bite my hand off for my current job (the team are lovely, it’s very flexible, no issues with changing hours to suit childcare & plenty of wfh) but I’m so bored, I don’t have job satisfaction & I want to be challenged.
so I’m leaving for a much harder role (out of London so less pay too). The anxiety keeps me up at night but I have no regrets. You have one life & I want to be at the end thinking ‘I’m glad I gave that a shot’
good luck with whatever you decide x

While your role itsef may have no options for progression, is there the possibility of sideways moves with your current employer? Your sector is well paid and brings great benefits, and you'll have a lot of sector-specific knowledge and probably connections, trust and goodwill. In my sector (financial services), a competant, well thought of admin person would be a realistic candidate for junior business management or PMO roles.

It’ll be much easier when the second child is at school, if you can wait until then. But definitely apply for the interview experience, you probably need it.

I’d apply but honestly, if you don’t know the ‘civil service’ way of filling in applications, I wouldn’t hold your breath at getting the role. It’s a whole different game just trying to get an interview, even if you’ve done the exact same role all your life and have all the skills/experience, if you don’t apply exactly how they score each application, you get sifted out instantly. (It’s totally different to private sector)
They also have a backlog of people who’ve already successfully applied for roles on that grade but no posts were available, so they’re given priority, plus anyone else already working in that team / those roles will also be applying as there’s no direct promotion programme. There is lots of room for promotion but that can take years as you have to go through the same application process each time.

That said, I’d def apply just so you don’t have regrets, and I’d just trust fate that if this is the right path for you then you’ll get the job and if not, then it wasn’t meant to be.