Was I slightly rude?

[Sylvie1997]

Context - I had a bumped into a soon-to-be former colleague (superior) outside the office. I am about to leave next month, they only ever come in about once every 6 weeks for meetings.

He was about to leave, I was on my way in.
We only spoke for a minute or so about the meeting, then he said, ‘Well I’ll see you soon’ (he knows I’m leaving). I replied, without thinking, ‘oh you won’t see me soon I’m leaving….’ I was smiling when I said it though, not a snappy tone of voice or anything. Is that rude though?

No. Not remotely.

No not at all

Bump just z’ want some more opinions please

Not rude.

Sounds like you weren’t but given you’re asking the question, I suspect you were being passive aggressive in your remark.

They obviously said it as a turn of phrase like “See you later” whether they knew you were leaving or not. I had to explain to my partner that saying this particular phrase was a bit weird to some ppl as it implied he thought he literally would be seeing them later that day and they’d look at him like he was odd, so he dropped the last bit.

Not at all. I'm a senior manager and if someone on my staff said this to me I'd be pleased they mentioned it, and told them I'd be sorry to see them go, and that I wished them all the best. Perfectly normal exchange.

I guess you think you were being passive aggressive as ‘see you soon’ is almost used as a ‘goodbye’ and some people normally say yeah see you then - you replied with something offered (but true)

You are massively overthinking this. Why would it be rude… and even if it was why do you care if you are leaving?

i wouldn’t have thought that it’s rude at face value with the context you’ve given - has anything happened to make you feel that way afterwards?

No it's not rude.

I wouldn't have said that, why would he care about you leaving if he barely sees you anyway? 'Bye' would have been enough.

Yes. Not rude, but a bit pedantic, maybe. ‘See you soon’ is one of those phatic phrases, not anything implying they believe they will see you again soon. Like ‘All right?’ used as a greeting. It’s basically ‘Hello’, not anything implying you look unwell, or a request to be given a run down on your gammy knee.

Exactly!

When my unrequited crush said 'See you around' many years ago, I was heartbroken because I knew it was meaningless!

And thank you, I didn't know it was called a 'phatic phrase'.

No it wasn't rude.

Not rude but might have sounded a little smug depending on how you said it. But who cares really? As you say you won’t see him again.

It might have seemed that way. But he may not have noticed either. Put the thought away. You can't unsay it and if you tried to, you'd come over as odd.

I agree. Most people I know don’t say see you soon unless it’s someone they are likely to see soon!

After I said it we chatted for a few minutes more about something else, not sure what.
When actually did leave, he seemed a bit awkward and mumbling, “we’ll see you… see you then”.

No, but seems a bit unnecessary? As PP have said, 'see you soon/later' is a way of saying goodbye.

So it’s clearly his normal way of saying ‘Goodbye’, and as you’d already told him he wouldn’t, as you’d quit, he was trying to modify his usual phrase. So why give it a second thought?

No. Why, did he say it was?

No, you’re overthinking. Plus you’re leaving who cares really.

Why are you over thinking it so much, I doubt he cares, were you making a point or something? Did you want him to say oh no, please stay? Or maybe you do stress about normal interactions and have some social anxiety?

I often hear people like the postal or delivery courier saying things like "see you" or even "see you in a bit" when I might never see them again in my life. Its just a casual manner of speaking that has replaced the more formal goodbye.. People on mumsnet are obsessed with others being PA.