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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you cancel on the day with the NHS, you should be put to the bottom of the list?

507 replies

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:07

Unless you have a good reason of course!

I’ve just started and I’m in my first week, in this week we’ve had multiple cancel due to nerves or just not turning up. Seeing the amount of work that gets them to this point, it’s staggering! I just can’t get my head around it

OP posts:
Pomegranatecarnage · 28/08/2025 22:28

DisabledDemon · 28/08/2025 13:18

Some days it's unavoidable. I was due a scan - came out to get in the car and the brake warning light came on. Was the car safe to drive? I didn't know and called out the AA. It was half an hour before my appointment but couldn't take the risk.

I cancelled the appointment and as it turned out, the brakes needed doing. It would have been safe to drive a few miles up the road but I couldn't know that. Fortunately, I've got an appointment reset for next month.

Should I be penalised for that? I was being careful.

Yes, I’d have got a taxi rather than waste an appointment.

Timeforabitofpeace · 28/08/2025 22:36

In fairness departments shouldn’t have to check whether people can still attend. Thats the patients job. DNAs (dis not attends) cost the NHS a great deal of money.

OP, not trying to be rude, but it would really help if you only used a question mark at the end of a sentence where you are asking an actual question, rather than when you are making a statement.

endofthelinefinally · 28/08/2025 22:44

The other thing they do with telephone appointments:
You sit quietly all day next to your landline and holding your mobile phone. You can't be certain which one they will ring.
The landline rings once and as you pick it up they end the call.
You are recorded as having not been available.

Catcatcat111 · 28/08/2025 22:50

My mum had an appointment for cateract and glaucoma related surgery. Had to cancel as she came down with a heavy cold. Was told if she cancelled another she’d be taken off the list, disgraceful, what is she meant to do? Turn up ill for eye surgery under local anaesthetic and sneezing and coughing while trying to stay still?

Pryceosh1987 · 28/08/2025 23:29

Its good to keep good timing and be confident in the change. Wasted time cannot be taken back. Be confident, i am sure everything you go well for you.

MyGreyStork · 28/08/2025 23:31

Dr13Hadley · 28/08/2025 21:22

I wouldn’t worry. Most of the admin staff in my trust are being coerced into taking voluntary redundancy and the ones that are left are so stressed they are leaving or retiring early.
We’re getting AI systems in now to replace most of us so you’ll only have computers and robots to hurl your vitriol at. All the receptionists are being replaced by digital booking in desks and the consultants are dictating letters transcribed by AI so you won’t have to deal with “incompetent” admin staff for much longer 👍🏻

The sooner the better would be great

MushMonster · 29/08/2025 06:46

endofthelinefinally · 28/08/2025 22:44

The other thing they do with telephone appointments:
You sit quietly all day next to your landline and holding your mobile phone. You can't be certain which one they will ring.
The landline rings once and as you pick it up they end the call.
You are recorded as having not been available.

Thanks for oh yes! And if you call back straight away, they are not available!

winewolfhowls · 29/08/2025 07:08

TickyandTacky · 28/08/2025 13:14

You make no sense at all.

Perfect for the NHS I guess. Maybe get back to work and stop wasting public money on mumsnet.

That's unfair and rude. The OP has an opinion and is asking for other people to add their thoughts. It's the whole premise of this site.

I do think that serial non attendees should be fined as a deterrent but not the first time because anyone can be experiencing a crisis or transport troubles as a one off.

CoffeeCantata · 29/08/2025 07:11

A). I think it’s reasonable that people who mess the NHS around are put to the lowest priority. Not cancelled - just moved down the list.
B) Sorting out NHS admin would help everyone.

Taztoy · 29/08/2025 08:32

Bushmillsbabe · 28/08/2025 22:05

Do you not get text reminders? We send out appts a month prior, a text 2 weeks before and a phone call reminder a week before, in an effort to reduce missed appointments. Not for our benefit - it's extra work for us- but to try to reduce overall wait times for all

No. I just get a letter.

they’re not in the nhs app or on that patient portal either. I check both regularly.

I don’t get text reminders. I don’t get phone calls. Nothing. Just a letter.

AgnesX · 29/08/2025 08:36

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

Depending on the procedure YABU. Unless you've been in that situation you can't know how stressful - it, and the recovery - might be. Especially depending on people's circumstances.

I do take your point though and it's just putting it off.

Topseyt123 · 29/08/2025 08:40

winewolfhowls · 29/08/2025 07:08

That's unfair and rude. The OP has an opinion and is asking for other people to add their thoughts. It's the whole premise of this site.

I do think that serial non attendees should be fined as a deterrent but not the first time because anyone can be experiencing a crisis or transport troubles as a one off.

True that @TickyandTacky went further than I would have done with her comments but plenty of us on here have taken issues with OP's comments too.

OP did ask for opinions, but in a way that only saw things in black and white, was rather self righteous and wanted full validation for herself. People have rightly been pointing out the many nuances of the situation and the many significant problems they have encountered with NHS admin which have often in themselves contributed to missed appointments.

Only then did OP begin to backpedal just slightly (and reluctantly).

TickyandTacky · 29/08/2025 09:52

winewolfhowls · 29/08/2025 07:08

That's unfair and rude. The OP has an opinion and is asking for other people to add their thoughts. It's the whole premise of this site.

I do think that serial non attendees should be fined as a deterrent but not the first time because anyone can be experiencing a crisis or transport troubles as a one off.

You mean, only share opinions that you or the OP like? No thank you. Disagreeing doesn't make ne unfair or rude. Certainly no ruder than the OP was.

DisabledDemon · 29/08/2025 09:59

Pomegranatecarnage · 28/08/2025 22:28

Yes, I’d have got a taxi rather than waste an appointment.

As I've explained to other PPs. there wasn't time to get one. Our taxi service is not very good.

DisabledDemon · 29/08/2025 13:29

TheGreatWesternShrew · 28/08/2025 15:02

That’s what taxis are for

As I've pointed out, there was no time to get a taxi. There was nothing available.

I also needed to try to contact the hospital to let them know I was delayed but just got a recorded message saying that the department was shut. Like so many others, I found the alternate number they gave didn't work.

It's all very well saying get a taxi. Sometimes that option isn't possible but you obviously don't know that as you have been so dismissively glib with your response.

And no, I couldn't have got a train either. The station is several miles away and I can't walk that far.

LlamaNoDrama · 29/08/2025 13:31

SaltAirAndTheRust · 28/08/2025 13:11

I just think cancelling on the day due to nerves is a load of rubbish - they’ve had months to get to this point and can talk through all of it before hand! Same as just not turning up

Well lucky you for not having severe anxiety. In my experience nhs services who should be preempting reasonable adjustments don't bother. maybe they'd have less no shows if they did what they're meant to?

DiscoBob · 29/08/2025 13:52

It is out of order. Do they not bump you way down if you do this? And if you do it twice they kick you off the service and back to the GP?

So essentially they are bumping you to the bottom again if you do it twice. I guess they could if you did it once but people are sick. They do need a little leeway.

But doing a no-show and not even calling after the event should get you kicked off back to the GP. Unless you were genuinely seriously unwell.

MyAlexaIsEvil · 29/08/2025 14:45

tigger1001 · 28/08/2025 13:34

I have an appointment next week at the hospital which I am incredibly nervous about. Will attend though. But my nerves have come from no one explaining about the procedure and that for some women it can be incredibly painful for. I was told by the hospital no different from a smear, but having spoken to others, and reading other women's experiences know that while that might be true for some women, some need a ga.

perhaps the hospital staff should be a lot more open and honest about these things and acknowledge that people will be worried

Is it a hysteroscopy? If so, maybe this will be reassuring. I had also read horror stories before I had one but it really wasn't too bad - and since I haven't had children I was in the category where it is sometimes more challenging. The staff took lots of time to explain it, and reassured me that if at any time it was too painful, I could always ask to stop and come back for an appointment under general anaesthetic. I would say it was no worse than bad period cramps. Please don't be too scared!

Dutchhouse14 · 29/08/2025 15:07

gamerchick · 28/08/2025 13:18

Ah imagine. A letter coming saying it's time and please book your appointment online? That's like a different dimension dream healthcare that.

Well I've had a letter inviting me to book an appointment online on a few occasions but when I've logged in there's never ever been appointments available!! At any location, on any date, so then you have to request to go on their waiting list.
Then I get emails asking me if I still want to stay on waiting list.
6 months later I've been telephoned and offered an appointment at a different location.
Booking online would be a dream IF it actually worked.

taxguru · 29/08/2025 15:43

Timeforabitofpeace · 28/08/2025 22:36

In fairness departments shouldn’t have to check whether people can still attend. Thats the patients job. DNAs (dis not attends) cost the NHS a great deal of money.

OP, not trying to be rude, but it would really help if you only used a question mark at the end of a sentence where you are asking an actual question, rather than when you are making a statement.

The the NHS need to answer the phone and/or put a working phone number at the top of appointment letters. What are patients supposed to do if it's impossible to phone the NHS to cancel/rearrange?

taxguru · 29/08/2025 15:45

Dutchhouse14 · 29/08/2025 15:07

Well I've had a letter inviting me to book an appointment online on a few occasions but when I've logged in there's never ever been appointments available!! At any location, on any date, so then you have to request to go on their waiting list.
Then I get emails asking me if I still want to stay on waiting list.
6 months later I've been telephoned and offered an appointment at a different location.
Booking online would be a dream IF it actually worked.

Yup, our GP surgery is like that. They hound you with texts telling you to go onto the NHS app to make an appointment, but when you do there are no appointments available. I have it every year for my annual diabetic review. A few weeks after it was due and still no appointment made, they phone you and every time they've done it, when they log in, they can't give you an appointment either as there are none. Rather than waste their time, you'd think they'd check the system before phoning a patient just to make sure there are appointments available!

Dr13Hadley · 29/08/2025 15:49

taxguru · 29/08/2025 15:43

The the NHS need to answer the phone and/or put a working phone number at the top of appointment letters. What are patients supposed to do if it's impossible to phone the NHS to cancel/rearrange?

They are getting rid of admin staff; there aren’t any left to answer the phone!! Everything will all be done digitally via apps etc. and apparently it’s tough shit if you are elderly and / or can’t work an app.

But hey, the admin staff are useless and incompetent so they aren’t needed, right?

jamimmi · 29/08/2025 16:00

Just finished my am clinic. Out of 10 appointments 3 didn't attend. The appointments were follow ups all made in the last 6 weeks all timed and dated at the last appointment. The 9am rang at 11 to say she was unwell, fine but the train tannoy in the background made us wonder! She will be rebooked, the other 2 will recived letters asking them to contact us to rebook, some will. No contact 4 weeks post letter and they are discharged. I have a 9 month waiting list , including patents who will come at short notice. To those of you moaning we don't take your needs into account, even when we do this is the result . This is healthcare not a hairdresser and unfortunately to keep up efficiency we cant always flex how we would like. And for those curious I don't work Friday pm so am currently not wasting taxpayers money.

Emmz1510 · 29/08/2025 16:36

What a strangely vague post!
Are you an NHS worker lamenting missed appointments? What department are you in? Are you talking about operations or just general appointments?
It’s annoying especially considering the waiting lists, but surely if the NHS are as busy as they claim to be it’s just on to the next one on the list. You get paid either way.

Lickityspit · 29/08/2025 16:46

Lottapianos · 28/08/2025 13:43

'I do think though that if people were not kept waiting so much when attending medical appointments there would be more willingness for people to cancel in advance. There is very much a culture of your time is less important than mine.'

Agree with this. It's a complex, system-wide problem with no easy answers

Quite often clinics are deliberately overbooked to account for the amount of DNAs but then sometimes everyone turns up!!!
where I work we have a very high number of people just not turning up but it someone phones to cancel, even on the day, then of course we rebook them (with a thank you for actually calling)