To think women make a house a home?

[NothingButShiteOnTV]

Yes, I know I am generalising! I have no doubt people will be quick to tell me their dad/brother/second cousin Jim were more decoratively flamboyant than Laurence Llewellin Bowen (sp) but the men I know either live in lovely homes either decorated by a deceased spouse/ex partner or they live in something just about a step up from a cave - and they do not care!
When I look around my home the 'finishing touches' have all been chosen and placed by me, my husband just sees them as things we can live without and unnecessary despite them making this house our home.
AIBU?

My Dad, DH and brother all couldn't care less about decor or making a house more homely. Step up from cave is fine for them all.

I'm fact most of the men I know are like this. Most not all. There is a small minority in my circles that do care.

There are many many valid reasons my exdp is an ex but his home decor sense is not one of them. His house is beautiful, especially his living room and bathroom

My uncle, likewise has impeccable taste. My aunt really couldn't care less as long as it's clean and furnished.

I like to think my place is quite homely, but it's taken a good few years to get it that way. I'm just not as fussed about it as exdp is, clearly, as his was done within about 18 months

My df otoh, doesn't seem to even mind the bare floorboards and exposed pipes in his house so I think generalisations are a bit daft really.

Flippin heck, this has clearly got under a few people's skin!
For reference I was a complete tomboy as a girl, played with dinosaurs, remote control cars and my favourite Christmas present was a Scalextrix set!
I grew up on a farm so when I wasn't playing with 'boys' toys I was knee deep in various animals shite or roaming the fields playing in rivers.
I learned to drive in a tractor and perfected my skills in an old land rover.
I am definitely as far from a 1950's housewife as it is possible to get😂
For those who have asked what makes my house feel like home to me:-
Paint colours I have chosen on the walls, not the previous occupants choice even if it is neutral.
Matching comfortable furniture.
A table big enough for family to sit around at get togethers/Christmas.
A real fire (not just gas/electric)
Everything clean, no rubbish on the sides etc. Clean bedding.
My pets.

It is true in our case. DH doesn't really care at all about decor but is happy to let me do my thing. He loves the result, though, and says he loves coming home to it. In my case, though, it's a bit of a trauma response. My dad was violent alcholic and a drug addict who would smash things up when he had his rages. We could never have anything nice, it would get destroyed, so my mum gave up. We used to live near Dulwhich village and we would go for walks with our dogs and I would admire these beautiful rooms, all lit up at night. I used to imagine the lives people had in those beautiful rooms, full of art and squishy sofas and fragile things that stayed unbroken and I desperately wanted the same. As an adult, I am very fussy about what the house looks like and I don't like being argued with. It's all about control, I know that, I recreate what I felt I lacked as a child and the fantasy life I wish I had had back then, but DH is happy for me make the decisions, so its not an issue. On the other hand, I know plenty of women who really do not care as long as their home is clean and I do think how happy their childhood must have been. Most people's houses are their sanctuary but the decor in mine is also armour.

YANBU. My friends joke that it’s my house and my DH gets to live here 😂 I spent literally hours devising our colour schemes and choosing the perfect clock/walk art/cushions/photo frames/light shades/throws/towels/tea towels for every room. I compare numerous paint and carpet samples. I will have paint mixed until I find the exact shade I’m after. I don’t care if I have to try 10-20 samples. Colour, texture and aesthetics are very important to me.

My DH suggested painting every room magnolia when we moved in! 🙀😂
Thankfully he’s given me full reign to design our entire home, which I love! He paints, builds furniture and puts up everything on the walls to meet my exact requirements. He’s a keeper! 🥰

Your idea of a home is similar to mine then, but we choose together! Both as interested! He’s vetoed some things and vice versa! We both have a very ‘industrial’ style - for example my lamp in my living room is made from a house brick.

I hate what I’d call tat! Scatter cushions and throws, candles and reed diffusers! Utter shite to me but a necessity to others!

It’s a really interesting subject, especially from a class perspective. The home being a measure of a families’ respectability. Post-war having a nice set of clean net curtains and a scrubbed front step was a matter of survival for the poor as the white middle class ways became the only acceptable ways.

Nor do I. What's the point??

The OP is talking about what she calls "finishing touches", and presumably realises that the great majority of professionals associated with interior and architectural design, furniture design, etc., are still male, as they always have been.

Which is a pity because there are some excellent female designers out there, concerned with a lot more than "finishing touches", but it's still a very male-dominated field.

Probably in most cases but my (gay) single neighbour has such a beautiful home I want to move in. The lighting is just exquisite, the textures are so homely, seasonal decorations just perfection.
At Christmas it looks like wonderland, all festive candles and coloured glass and millions of teeny twinkly lights. It looks like a set for a Nigella Christmas episode. Gorgeous.

My husband always gets involved with furniture decorating ect. But he is italian and I wonder if italian men are more interested in homes.

Scottish husband, loves antique shops, Persian rugs and flower arrangements. Wait til I tell him the decor is down to me! (Just bought a toadstool candle holder from flying tiger which I’m sure he will not think is awful!)

You're demeaning this, not the poster

One of the nicest things dh ever said to me was, ‘Thank you for making a nice home.’

And he didn’t mean the decor or my standard of housework! His Dbro who was going through a messy divorce (not his fault) had just been visiting - his own home hadn’t been happy for a long time.

I love interior design. DH likes it to look “nice” but openly admits he is clueless, so asks me to do it. He will offer the occasional “that won’t work” which I invariably ignore and he always likes it in the end. And no, I don’t think it’s “frippery” or women’s work. DH cooks and cleans up most of the time so I am happy with the arrangement!

Yabu, dogs make a house a home

DH did most of the decorating in our house, I think it’s lovely.

Why is it considered 'frippery' if it is something that makes a home livable and nice to the people living there?
Surely some frippery is necessary or we would all live in white boxes with functional furniture only, no artwork, no patterned bedding sets, only basic curtains if absolutely needed etc. Every home would be exactly the same. If you enjoy living that way then all power to you but it is your choice. Personally I like my walls a little more colourful and my furniture to look nice as well as do a job, most people's homes are a reflection of them.
I bet if the majority of men dealt with home decor it wouldn't be considered frippery, it would be promoted to items essential for living.

See my earlier post, got this covered with 2 dogs!

It's like Christmas. Many men love and enjoy Christmas but have absolutely no idea what goes into it or how to replicate it if their lives depended on it.

In the majority of cases, this is true. There will always be a few exceptions, but then there always is, doesn’t mean it’s not generally true…..women do make houses into a home.