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Original poster

I’m sitting beside my beloved mother as her life ebbs away

59 replies

tougholdbirdy · 26/08/2025 22:17

I I’m heartbroken and surprisingly at peace. She knows how much I love and value her and I know how much she loves me .
I feel such pride to be her daughter, she has been my rock all my life .
please hold my hand .

OP posts:
NameChange1412 · 26/08/2025 23:30

I’m sorry @tougholdbirdy Flowers

I had the privilege of being with my Dad when he went on his way last year; he was only 56 and fit as a fiddle, so it was an awful shock. I got three weeks with him in ITU, he was in a coma with a brain injury but I like to think he knew I was there. I had little spa nights for him where I would cut his hair, trim his beard the way he liked it and keep his nails tidy, anything I could think of to keep him looking like himself. I played him his favourite music and read to him, and just chatted away. I remember feeling the most ‘adult’ I’ve ever felt, whilst simultaneously feeling like a lost, scared child.

Is your Mum settled at the moment? I’m here holding your hand and keeping you in my thoughts ❤️

AlwaysGotAnOpinion · 26/08/2025 23:31

Sending you a big cuddle OP, horrible situation. My dad went from post-op to dead in 3 days and he was in a coma all that time. I talked to him and cried on him and I recorded my last words to him, when I wasn’t with him I wrote down all the memories that came into my head in a Sudoku book and that formed the basis of my personal eulogy for him. I hope your memories stay with you and that the end is peaceful for your Mum - you both sound lovely and I’m sorry this is happening 🩷 life becomes infinitely sadder after losing a parent but you will be okay xx

Waitingfordoggo · 26/08/2025 23:36

I have been where you are with both my mum and my dad. It is the hardest thing I ever had to do but also the most important. I look back on it as a great privilege. They were there when I came into the world and I was there when they went out. It’s incredibly tough, but in the future, the fact that you were there will bring you comfort. I hope it is a peaceful end for your dear mum. 💐

EdgyCrab · 26/08/2025 23:41

I've been where you've been. You're doing the most important thing in the world right now. Thinking of you both.

Original poster
tougholdbirdy · 27/08/2025 04:48

Thank you . It’s now the early hours of the morning. She hasn’t had a good night, but I’m here and able to give her everything she asks for. Reading your words has given my strength and comfort .

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 27/08/2025 07:04

Well done @tougholdbirdy, hang in there. Rest when you can. x

Marylou62 · 27/08/2025 07:26

tougholdbirdy · 27/08/2025 04:48

Thank you . It’s now the early hours of the morning. She hasn’t had a good night, but I’m here and able to give her everything she asks for. Reading your words has given my strength and comfort .

Oh love.. I was exactly where you were in December..
My beloved Mum.
I vowed I wouldn't leave her till the end.
I'm sending hugs and strength to you. X

Marylou62 · 27/08/2025 07:29

I kept thinking that she was there when I took my first breath and I so wanted to be there when she took her last. And I was lucky and privileged enough to have been able to. I'm crying for you now..x

Marylou62 · 27/08/2025 16:57

I've been thinking about you all day.. I hope things are calm. X

thetemptationofchocolate · 27/08/2025 17:05

It was a comfort to me, after, that Mum had people who loved her with her to the end. I sincerely hope that is the case for you. Much love x

VexedofVirginiaWater · 27/08/2025 17:07

It is a huge regret that I could not do this for my own mother who died during the pandemic. She was only allowed visitors for an hour when she was at end of life. Your mother will be hugely comforted by your presence.

ItsDarkINeedToSleep · 27/08/2025 17:12

Another hand hold here. All we can hope for in life is to be loved. Your mum is much loved that really comes across in your post that is a wonderful thing. Make sure you are still drinking and eating when you can x

Pleasegodgotosleep · 27/08/2025 17:30

How wondergul for you both to know how loved you are and how heartbreaking for you now.

I'm thinking of you both and (hopefully it doesnt offend you, I certainly don't mean it to) am saying a little prayer for your mum.

MrsPositivity1 · 27/08/2025 17:36

@tougholdbirdy& @HappiestSleeping I’m thinking of you both at this sad but very important time. You will never forget the love and being able to help them to slip away in the manner they would have wished. Sending you both love.

Hollowvoice · 27/08/2025 17:37

Another hand hold. I hope you find ways to maintain your strength, it is not an easy journey

shellyleppard · 27/08/2025 17:45

Sorry to hear this. Sending you the biggest of hugs x she knows she is loved 🫂🙏💐❤️

AllrightNowBaby · 27/08/2025 17:53

Love is for eternity, it never dies ❤️

Marylou62 · 27/08/2025 21:01

VexedofVirginiaWater · 27/08/2025 17:07

It is a huge regret that I could not do this for my own mother who died during the pandemic. She was only allowed visitors for an hour when she was at end of life. Your mother will be hugely comforted by your presence.

I am so sorry that you couldn't be with your mum...x

Shabang21 · 27/08/2025 21:32

So much love to you OP, I’d give anything to have been with my lovely mum at the end.

You’re doing a wonderful thing x x

Piffle11 · 27/08/2025 21:40

Hand hold here, OP.

my sister and I were lucky enough to do this for our mother. And for our father.

The comfort you are giving your mother is indescribable, being there for her in her final hours. It’s not easy.

What you are going through right now is dreadful, but you - I believe – will take comfort from it in the future. My sister and I do xx

YorkshireLawyer · 27/08/2025 21:48

Sorry to hear this. It is a massive act of love, though. I sat with my grandmother as she passed last year and as painful as it was at the time, I look back on it as a huge privilege. Sending you a hand hold, and hopefully peace when the time comes.

ItsDdayalloveragain · 27/08/2025 21:51

You will always remember these last moments together… say all you want to your dear mum, take in everything about her, her skin, her smell, the size of her hand, everything. She knows you are there, and she will feel your love and calmness. You are brave and from my own experience, it’s a difficult thing to do, but you won’t ever regret it. Sending a hug to you x

SuPollardsPolkaDotFrock · 27/08/2025 21:52

I’ve sat there with you. It’s the most precious gift being by their side until the end. What you are doing is the greatest act of love you can give. I’m so sorry x

CallMeMessy · 27/08/2025 21:55

I’ve sat where you are OP, the most difficult thing I have ever done but I was so glad I got to do it. No regrets, only love, being there at the end was a privilege.

SitOnHisFaceIfHeDiesHeDies · 27/08/2025 21:57

Hand hold from me OP xx