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AIBU?

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Original poster

Things that PISS you off, but you can't really say so.

637 replies

pinknailvarnish1 · 26/08/2025 17:12

I have a few. Can't say them out loud (except to DH).

MIL & FIL - multi millionaires. Spend loads of money on themselves, lavish holidays, sports cars, only the very best restaurants etc. Never ever do they give a penny to their adult children (and one is flat broke). This is despite them both having been given property and a thriving business by a parent themselves.

My Dad - Overbearing, alcoholic, violent outbursts etc, all through our childhood. He's now decrepit and I have to do so much for him. I resent it.

Brother - keeps saying he's broke, whilst living like a rockstar. Just spend £20k on a holiday, lives in a £600k house, drives top of the range car, but often claims poverty - stop lying!

And breathe......

Anyone else?

OP posts:
TheodoraCrumpet · 26/08/2025 23:40

People who post outrageously photoshopped photos of themselves on their FB pages. It's not so much them, though I think a 50-year-old woman erasing every hint of not being 12 off her image and passing it off as a recent photo when I saw her actual face last week, and she looks like an adult human rather than a mutant, is a bit ridiculous. No, what pisses me off unreasonably are the comments saying 'Beautiful lady', that kind of thing. The only proper and correct thing to do is quietly ignore this crap.

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMomentInTime · 26/08/2025 23:44

cheesecurdsandgravy · 26/08/2025 17:26

I work with children and young people with disabilities.

There is nothing that I find more infuriating than parents who are exaggerating their children’s needs because they want more benefit money/respite care/to excuse their own crap parenting.

I regularly fantasise about telling them they’re talking shit and that everyone knows it. But, instead, I am limited to writing careful worded reports which are simply added to everyone else’s carefully written reports because there is absolutely no way that we have the time/energy to divert to fight their bullshit.

Oh, absolutely this.

We have a few really awful parents that are determinedly pushing for all kinds of agreement from us that their children have X, Y or Z when they clearly do not. We have many that do have X, Y or Z, and we definitely don't pretend otherwise, but these parents have been quite open about wanting to apply for additional benefits and word travels back. They're just crappy parents and I really feel for their children.

And we have some on the other side of the coin, too. Where they don't want to hear that we think their children might have X, Y or Z, that it's our fault they're struggling/misbehave/etc, couldn't possibly be anything genetic... so frustrating.

ohrodneyyouresuchplonker · 26/08/2025 23:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Not1995 · 26/08/2025 23:47

@Phoebesparrow My mother does the same. No matter what you have/had, she has/had it far worse than you and you should feel sorry for her.

The worst example was when my younger brother, who I hadn't seen in a few years, asked me what chemo was like...in front of our mother. I said that it was the most painful thing I'd ever experienced...out of nowhere my mother said 'I gave birth 3 times, that was more painful'...

My brother and I just looked at each other in horror and said nothing...too shocked, I think. Imagine comparing childbirth to cancer treatment! Looking back I wish I said 'You had a baby at the end...I nearly died'

My mother is also a narc and I've been very low contact for 25 years. Deliberately live on the other side of the world.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:52

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:30

I really wish people would think twice when uttering such platitudes in your situation - I think it’s because people often don’t know what to say, but think they should say something.

@Enigma54 - sorry forgot to tag you - this was in response to your post

Toomanyweekstogo · 26/08/2025 23:57

Crole · 26/08/2025 18:20

I've been keeping a list of these for a while. I swear I'm not uptight. Buckle up, it's a long list.

  • specific requests for low value small ads items instead of just giving it away for free or asking for a euro, magnum mini ice creams, haribo, specific brands of coffee
  • people who bring children to saunas, even if they're quiet.
  • mumblers
  • knitted cardigans that look like jackets worn by muscle men, especially if they're polyester
  • people who make obvious suggestions about how to identify murder victims from Interpol posts, as if the police hadn't thought of doing that already, "check the serial number", "check the dental records".
  • people gifting voucher gifts like 1x Babysitting or 1x romantic cooked meal. What a lame idea.
  • Christmas dinner flavoured sandwiches/anything. Christmas panini, straight in the bin.
  • People who wear matching Christmas pyjamas.
  • people don't wash their clothes or bedding before using it.
  • people who say "you'll be speaking to my lawyer" about minor inconveniences. You know they don't have a lawyer and aren't intimidating anyone.
  • people who offer dodgy financial courses directed towards multiple audiences at once, advice like "stop living paycheck to paycheck" and then "buy rental property". Huh?
  • people who comment on social media about AI destroying the planet and then have photos of either meat or their short and long haul trips on their profile, or both.
  • old people who complain about the behaviour of "kids nowadays". We're one generation away from beating kids into submission at school and home, it might take time to adjust.
  • people who say they "dont watch TV" to sound superior but stream for hours. No one watches TV like its the 90s, you're better than no-one.
  • people who have feather pillows on their sofa with the feathers poking out and stabbing you in the arm. Get new ones or stop inviting me to your house.
  • people who sins"price point" instead of price.
  • people who post chatgpt answers to questions on social media, like they're doing a public service
  • people who comment on recipes and and about the weirdest substitutes, courgettes for sugar? NO, obviously not Janet.
  • people who say "picky bits" for food
  • people who suggest donating book hoards to local libraries, no one wants ancient dusty moldy books.
  • people who dont have a simple prepared answer to "what do you do?" and explain that it's complicated. I dont care what you do Marcus, it's small talk.
Edited
Show quote history

People who have too much time on their hands?

DreamyBalonz · 27/08/2025 00:03

Soitwillbefine · 26/08/2025 23:27

Visitors who say ‘right, we are off.’ Then start another conversation at the door for 6/7 minutes. Then leave. Then start another conversation at the car door for 6/7 minutes. Just say you’re going and bloody go, I don’t need a final act.

I know 4 people like this and I’m irrationally angry every time it happens and it ALWAYS happens.

My younger brother never just left the house when a visit ended. He would get to the door then turn round and look at me, expecting a lengthy conversation. If feel too awkward to just say "bye then!" And slam the door in his face. I'm kind of glad we lost touch

VielleTruite · 27/08/2025 00:09

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 23:04

@VielleTruite gosh, mine is exactly the opposite, a lot of semi hip hop ( think OutKast maybe) mixed in with some ABBA and very recent semi dance stuff - and it’s a mixed class too but a lot of over 40s in fact a fair few over 60s ( including me)

😀Indeed, we're all different which is good. I detest hip-hop and rap, it just sounds like shouting and noise to me. I can deal with a bit of ABBA and do recall them winning Eurovision with Waterloo, I think I was about nine. It was when everyone watched Eurovision. I've just had a new hip so I may hopefully get as active as you in the weeks coming!

Enigma54 · 27/08/2025 00:11

@Crikeyalmighty yes you are right. I get why people say it and normally it washes over me. It’s just bad timing right now, when one is feeling battered.

Suninthe · 27/08/2025 00:11

largeprintagathachristie · 26/08/2025 18:42

A work colleague eats a yoghurt at her desk every day and seems to genuinely spend five minutes scraping/scrabbling around with her spoon in the container at the end of it. Scrape, scrape, scrabble, scrabble goes the spoon. Again and again and again

It’s finished! Enough! All the yoghurt has clearly gone!

This just made me cry laughing... I had a work colleague who used to microwave sardines and eat them in my windowless office...

namechangetheworld · 27/08/2025 00:12

Babygirlmamahere · 26/08/2025 20:15

My MIL and how she always talks over me. She does many many annoying things but an example is when she takes my baby DD away from me as soon as I arrive and when she doesn't cry, she comes back all smug and tells me 'see, she didn't miss you at all!' 🙄 my DP thinks shes completely innocent and the best mother ever so I get no backup from him either. I honestly hate her.

Christ, my DM does similar. Whenever I pick my DC up one will inevitably raise their voice or whine about something. DM will turn to me and sneer "they don't act like this for me, it's only when YOU'RE around." Oh do fuck off.

Bunny44 · 27/08/2025 00:19

bumchic · 26/08/2025 17:29

DH falls asleep literally the minute he lies down and it’s infuriating. How can he just switch off like that?

Also I have irrational ugly jealousy of people who have grandparent childcare available to them. My DC have no GPs who can look after them and I am sad about it every time I see families who have.

I have GPs but only mine and no partner. There's also a girl in the village who was widowed when her twins were 2. Her mum helps out a lot but we have to remember it swings in roundabouts doesn't it. I get jealous when I see dad's with their babies or my friends doing family things but I try and remember I have my own dad/parents stepping in which many people don't have. I'd have loved to have had a family unit of my own and a DH though, but my partner walked out when I was pregnant.

Bunny44 · 27/08/2025 00:25

I let my friend stay at my house, which I usually rent out, for a month as a favour, saying if she could just water my plants, however she keeps trying to do deep cleans and reorganise things, but breaks things or throws stuff out without asking me. She also pruned things in my garden which shouldn't be pruned, especially not now. It's driving me bonkers but I know she means well so I can't say anything except reassure her that she doesn't have to do anything. I can't wait for her to move out though!

Mom2526 · 27/08/2025 00:25

I have a family member who phones you up for a chat, talks about themself then without fail, every time says "anyway I have to go, I've got friends waiting". Why phone then? I'm never sure if it's a boasting thing or they just can't be bothered to ask you how you are. Or they've phoned you to reiterate you're completely unimportant to them. It's such an odd thing to do.

moto748e · 27/08/2025 00:34

Soitwillbefine · 26/08/2025 23:27

Visitors who say ‘right, we are off.’ Then start another conversation at the door for 6/7 minutes. Then leave. Then start another conversation at the car door for 6/7 minutes. Just say you’re going and bloody go, I don’t need a final act.

I know 4 people like this and I’m irrationally angry every time it happens and it ALWAYS happens.

It used to be a universal social skill to know when to clear off! Lke many others, it seems to have been largely lost.

NoKidsSendDogs · 27/08/2025 00:37

People who say "irregardless". Oh. My. Fucking. God. Regardless already means without regard, why the fuck would you think it warrants a negation? Also, "I could care less". No, that doesn't mean what you think it means, it means you COULD care less so you DO care some. Ugh.

flowersandfizz · 27/08/2025 00:45

People who say ‘expresso’ instead of espresso.

Also, I know a fair few women who gave up work when they started a family. Nothing against this but a) don’t pretend it would be impossible to manage working again when kids are older primary/senior school age, and b) don’t moan about how disengaged and uninvolved your partner is on the domestic front, if they are providing for the entire family on their single high income!

Gingernaut · 27/08/2025 00:47

The sewer that is reality television and the identikit z-list slebs it's spawned

Some vacuous twit in a bikini who was runner up on Love Island four years ago is not worth pointing a camera at

I don't care who won Big Brother nine years ago

I truly don't care about the self inflicted 'drug and drink hell' some Essex fella has put himself through and I am genuinely perplexed about how much coverage some swimsuit clad 'babe' is getting when we are facing war, famine and pestilence

TV used to be intelligent and thought provoking and now it's a portal into a world of inanity, absolute nobodies 'throwing shade' at each other with bitchy remarks and the general dumbing down of society

IsItTheBlackOneOrTheRedOne · 27/08/2025 01:00

NotQuiteUsual · 26/08/2025 18:14

How DH takes ages to wake up on a weekend. He can wake up just fine on a work day. Yes he's groggy and a bit slow paced in a morning. But that's fine because he's out of bed. He takes fucking ages to wake up at the weekend and I have to wake him or he'd sleep all day.

I tell him how much it pisses me off to be faffing about trying to wake him for 10,20 minutes. But it never changes. Claims he can't help it. It makes me wanna cry with frustration.

Tbf that's my only gripe with him. So I'll continue to start my weekends with a quiet fury and resist the urge to shake him. At least for now.

Why can’t you let him sleep?

McTootsBagpipes · 27/08/2025 01:29

My neighbour, let’s call her Kate. She has taken to wearing a kuffiyeh in support of Palestine. Which would not be noteworthy, except she was on FB last year posting accusations of those wearing them of cultural appropriation. She is the very first to scream cultural appropriation about anything and has form for this, but has forgotten her rants as she wants to be seen wearing one everywhere from the local One Stop to gardening out the front.

elliejjtiny · 27/08/2025 01:42

Bil and Sil going on and on about their expensive holidays and expensive everything and then sneering if i say the things we are doing. Then MIL telling people "Well my OTHER daughter in law does xyz, has a very important job, etc etc" when I'm standing right there.

Flatandhappy · 27/08/2025 02:34

@Enigma54 It’s shit, isn’t it.

DH used to tell me how well I was coping, well lying in the middle of the street wailing and having the “it’s not fair” tantrum I wanted wasn’t really an option. He meant well but it did bug me.

secretrugbyfan · 27/08/2025 05:20

Soitwillbefine · 26/08/2025 23:27

Visitors who say ‘right, we are off.’ Then start another conversation at the door for 6/7 minutes. Then leave. Then start another conversation at the car door for 6/7 minutes. Just say you’re going and bloody go, I don’t need a final act.

I know 4 people like this and I’m irrationally angry every time it happens and it ALWAYS happens.

Sounds like an Irish goodbye......

Personperson · 27/08/2025 05:32

tooyoungtoopretty · 26/08/2025 18:32

All the hard work that goes into staying slim, and others taking ozempic.

That's because some people need help.

No need to look down on people because they desperately need help to change.

Surely it's better to get thinner no matter what helps to get there. Being obese causes so many future problems.

It's been proven it's not just a will power thing, there are all kinds of reasons at play as to why some people struggle to lose weight.

One of the things that I've heard is it stops the food noise, allowing the person to be able to eat better and make better changes.

Plus it doesn't mean that people aren't also making changes when on ozempic.

cafenoirbiscuit · 27/08/2025 05:33

The Mumsnet pop up asking me to turn off my ad blockers. Which I do.
and within a couple of minutes, the same message reappears. Ad infinitum. Ffs