I’m six months pregnant and for the first time in a while, my DH and I had an epic argument.
It escalated beyond reasonableness on both our sides. Nothing cruel or abusive, just rough.
I have a huge all-day work meeting today that I’m organising and chairing. I won’t be back till midnight tonight and have the same again tomorrow.
At midnight I asked him if we could please calm down as I desperately needed some sleep. I was worried about running the meeting on no sleep. I’m exhausted enough being pregnant.
He said he needed space and was going “home” (his parents house).
We live near his parents but my family live the other side of the country, so I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to. Our spare room is being turned into a nursery so we don’t have another room to sleep.
Firstly I feel really strongly in general that you don’t leave your spouse overnight during an argument. My dad sometimes left and didn’t come back for days and it’s a huge boundary for me.
Furthermore I knew if he left I’d never sleep, and I was very nervous about today’s meeting, especially if I didn’t sleep.
I asked him to stay so I could please at least sleep. I knew I’d be wide awake otherwise.
He did, and I did sleep. He did too.
WIBU to insist he stay? It’s the first time this has come up for us but it’s a massive issue for me.
At the same time however, I’m carrying a lot of guilt today over making him stay. On the one hand I do feel that leaving in the middle of the night due to a row is shit in a marriage, and I was selfishly wanting some sleep too. On the other hand, he is entitled to his space.
I have no issues with taking space during an argument and revisiting in a few hours but overnight is horrid. I’d rather go to bed with a hug, even if it’s half hearted.