Neighbours Beef - what to do?

[AnnaSunshine]

Get out your popcorn, huge beef between two sets of neighbours on our road.

Neighbour A has lived on the road for over ten years with her husband and three daughters. She always comes over to say hello and seems friendly. She often shares what’s going on in her life.

Neighbour B moved in a year ago and completed a full renovation on their house. She has a husband and son the same age as my daughter. They go to nursery together. She also seems friendly when I chat to her, but we mostly chat about the kids.

Neighbour A is about to move. About a week ago she ushered me into her house and told me how awful Neighbour B had been. She seemed very flustered. She said they had damaged her wall costing her close to £2000. She explained that she had been trying to get them to pay for months but they had refused. Finally when she’d gone to discuss it with the move getting close, Neighbour A had verbally assaulted her. She was livid.

Fast forward a few days and I hear/see/can’t fail to miss Neighbour A and her husband shouting at Neighbour B who seemed to be putting her bins out. They are clearly crowding her and very angry. Neighbour B does not shout.

When I saw Neighbour B at pick up, I asked her if she was okay. She looked very upset. She said if I wanted to hear the story from her perspective I could come over and she would explain.

Neighbour B said that a large tree was removed from a different garden behind Neighbour A’s house just before her wall was damaged. She said Neighbour A also had a large plant climbing up the wall. I saw photos. Their builders had been to examine the wall and assured them their work would not have caused the damage. They had offered Neighbour A half the costs to be neighbourly, but it had been declined.

Neighbour A became annoyed when they explained they didn’t think they were responsible and insulted Neighbour B. She left the room in tears. This was all caught on the doorbell camera. She played it for me.

Neighbour A and her husband, both solicitors had then written an email designed to look like a letter before action, but not actually meeting the criteria. In it they accused Neighbour B of verbal assault (DARVO much!?). Neighbour B and her husband decided to wait to reply to de-escalate tensions.

When Neighbour A and her husband had shouted at Neighbour B outside her house she had told them she didn’t feel safe talking to them because of the previous conversation. They called her a liar and threatened her profession saying she was bringing it into disrepute.

Neighbour B told me she had given them half the money to end the harassment. She said she felt scared to leave the house and was counting the days until they moved.

Wow! I think I’m the only one on the road that Neighbour B has spoken to, but I know Neighbour A has told quite a few others. Should I quietly correct the story?

AIBU - Neighbour A got that wrong. Correct away!

YANBU - Neighbour B has missed something out. Let her tell people herself.

I'm a bit disappointed 😭

I feel for neighbour b, but agree that you dont know the full story

And if neighbour a is a solicitor, I'd want no qualms with her or her man

Agree with previous advice to steer clear and say nothing to either party. Agree that you shouldn't have let it get this far tbh, but I cant judge you, i'm like a moth to a flame when it comes to gossip x

I would correct it as you have actually seen the proof. B has to stay in the area and you dont want neighbours to think B has caused issues, when in fact it was A. Regardless of the fact A is moving away B remains and I would support her by telling the truth you have seen

If I’ve understood the post correctly, neighbours A should be careful if they’re solicitors, surely.
Anyway, neighbours B need to stay out of their way, but just order flags to put out when they move 😂
In answer to your enquiry, I’d stay out if it, there is always two sides to every story, it’s none of your business 🤷‍♀️

Stay out of it unless you want them to go to neighbours war with you next! Far too much drama.

Neighbour A sounds like a bullying dickhead. No way do two solicitors need the money enough to make so much fuss. I would stand up for neighbour B, although admittedly partly out of self-interest as she's the one staying around!

Neighbours A sound awful, so thank goodness they are the ones moving.

It doesn’t sound as if B has done anything wrong, quite the opposite, so continue neighbourly relations.

But no need to go round speaking in her behalf or adding to the gossip / drama. I doubt you are the only person who witnessed A’s intimidating behaviour, and over 10 years I doubt B is the only person to have experienced A being a bully.

Too long
Stay out of it.

I absolutely do not become involved in neighbourhood gossip or tittle tattle. I find it beneficial to have as little to do with neighbours as humanly possible. When I was more mobile and walked around the area I used to do the classic English thing of saying hello or just nodding and walking quickly on. So I acknowledged their presence but did not become socially enmeshed with any of them. Now that Ive got older I dont hear, see or notice things (apparetly) although my senses are as sharp as they ever were. But I never have my hearing aid with me or the right glasses ...

To be honest, I would not seek out people to correct the rhetoric but if someone specifically mentions it, you could then say, "well I can't give a definitive opinion as I wasn't present at each event but I understand Neighbour A caught the whole event on her ring doorbell!"

Keep out of it

Don’t get involved

if the wall is at the back of property A and property B is to the side of property A and the wall is 10m away from the building why would anyone have photographed the wall?

This.

Have you read the posts describe the layout? The wall is no where near property B. Nor did the damage occur any time near the time of the works.

A wall nowhere near property B was damaged some 6 months after building works finished but around the time a tree was felled by the wall. 🤔

Neighbours and gossip. Mine, two doors down, when I was newly moved in, told me that my awkward, single 40+ male neighbour liked 'Brownies'.
I thought she was alluding to him being a paedophile, turns out she was racist.

Well you can start by not describing it as ‘beef’. If you’re old enough to have a mortgage then you’re too old to be calling an argument ‘beef’.

Then mind your own business. It’s sod all to do with you. There are two possible outcomes to getting involved in other people’s conflicts and neither of them work out well for you.

To Help others??

How is it of any help to them if it's not their beef, stay out of it OP.

If neighbour B has omitted some truths or only shown you the videos that paint her as a victim, you'll be the one being accused of lying and covering up if it comes to light.

Stay well out of it.

Because the estate agent wants pics to sell the place and take a whole bunch of pics including the garden.

if its a professional builder doing the reno they have a legal obligation to fence out the locals eg NDN children or dont want to be blamed for preexisting damage when they take over the site or need to prove the damage from site works was not as bad as the owner is making out...

Who cares. Stop listening to ‘he said she said’ and take people as ‘you’ find them. Step back and stay out of it.

If something that I know for a fact was incorrect and was repeated back to me, I would stand up for the wronged party. However for things I only know 3rd hand, I would steer well away.

It's bad enough you getting involved without expecting us to get involved too. We really don't care.

If it were me, I think I would correct people's information on the nature of the conversation if I'd seen the recording and had a different take, because I wouldn't like neighbour B to be unjustly slurred and be thought badly of by her neighbours, potentially long after neighbour A has gone.
But I wouldn't comment on the dispute generally as you weren't involved and don't know all the facts.

If it is as bad as it sounds, B could report A to the Solicitors Regulation Authority, but you should steer well clear. It's not your problem and there's nothing to be gained from getting involved.

There's no such thing as 'verbal assault'. There's verbal abuse and there's assault, which is physical.

I live in the middle of nowhere but am getting old and will have to move near people soon. It's this sort of thing that is making me drag my feet.

The only thing I hear is buzzards, owls and the foxes in the night. The thought of living with neighbours is miserable.

What on earth is verbal assault?
Is this a bona fide new crime.

Honestly, not heard of this one before.

If it does exist. In my experience it must be fairly commonplace and seems to be happen on an everyday basis. And go completely unpunished.

Think retail and other unfortunate workers dealing with the public on an everyday basis. And awful, warring neighbours.

As for this situation. It seems very toxic. Keep well out of it.