Neighbours Beef - what to do?

[AnnaSunshine]

Get out your popcorn, huge beef between two sets of neighbours on our road.

Neighbour A has lived on the road for over ten years with her husband and three daughters. She always comes over to say hello and seems friendly. She often shares what’s going on in her life.

Neighbour B moved in a year ago and completed a full renovation on their house. She has a husband and son the same age as my daughter. They go to nursery together. She also seems friendly when I chat to her, but we mostly chat about the kids.

Neighbour A is about to move. About a week ago she ushered me into her house and told me how awful Neighbour B had been. She seemed very flustered. She said they had damaged her wall costing her close to £2000. She explained that she had been trying to get them to pay for months but they had refused. Finally when she’d gone to discuss it with the move getting close, Neighbour A had verbally assaulted her. She was livid.

Fast forward a few days and I hear/see/can’t fail to miss Neighbour A and her husband shouting at Neighbour B who seemed to be putting her bins out. They are clearly crowding her and very angry. Neighbour B does not shout.

When I saw Neighbour B at pick up, I asked her if she was okay. She looked very upset. She said if I wanted to hear the story from her perspective I could come over and she would explain.

Neighbour B said that a large tree was removed from a different garden behind Neighbour A’s house just before her wall was damaged. She said Neighbour A also had a large plant climbing up the wall. I saw photos. Their builders had been to examine the wall and assured them their work would not have caused the damage. They had offered Neighbour A half the costs to be neighbourly, but it had been declined.

Neighbour A became annoyed when they explained they didn’t think they were responsible and insulted Neighbour B. She left the room in tears. This was all caught on the doorbell camera. She played it for me.

Neighbour A and her husband, both solicitors had then written an email designed to look like a letter before action, but not actually meeting the criteria. In it they accused Neighbour B of verbal assault (DARVO much!?). Neighbour B and her husband decided to wait to reply to de-escalate tensions.

When Neighbour A and her husband had shouted at Neighbour B outside her house she had told them she didn’t feel safe talking to them because of the previous conversation. They called her a liar and threatened her profession saying she was bringing it into disrepute.

Neighbour B told me she had given them half the money to end the harassment. She said she felt scared to leave the house and was counting the days until they moved.

Wow! I think I’m the only one on the road that Neighbour B has spoken to, but I know Neighbour A has told quite a few others. Should I quietly correct the story?

AIBU - Neighbour A got that wrong. Correct away!

YANBU - Neighbour B has missed something out. Let her tell people herself.

Stay out if it.

If you overhear anyone talking about it you could say something neutral like “things are never what they seem, we shouldn’t gossip about it as it must be very stressful for both parties and both must be upset”.

😆

Neighbour B was really upset about the accusation and wanted me to see it was untrue.

I wouldn't get into any type of gossip with neighbours, it will only come back to bite you. Unless you enjoy the drama, in which case I'd probably stick up for B as I assume you won't see much of A once she moves!

Get a mechanical digger and damage both of their houses to show them how silly they've been.
Or just stay out of it 👍

Neighbour B can take her concerns to the Solicitors Regulation Authority. As a solicitor, you don't get to write coercive letters pretending that they have more weight than they do - https://www.sra.org.uk/solicitors/standards-regulations/code-conduct-solicitors/

I'd suggest you pass that on and then stay out of it.

And correct the story to the other busybodies/non bothered people in the cul-de-sac

Stay out of it.

The wall will have been photographed by the estate agent and should have been photographed before the building works started as it was part of a building site.

Would you pay someone £1000 just because you felt sorry for them?

Just keep well out of it.

The last thing you need is to have a reputation for gossiping and starting conversations with an expectation that a person not involved in a dispute must pick a side.

Neighbour B still paid up. If I had done absolutely nothing wrong I would not be giving anyone a penny, not a hope. You are not being told the truth.

Neighbour B gave them £250. Half the cost.

Not sure about Neighbour A’s figure.

Neighbour A had no photos because there was a big plant growing over their wall. The wall was in Neighbour A’s garden and the building work was in Neighbour B’s house about 10m away. And it finished about 6 months before the wall was damaged.

Even if someone shouted at you everytime you left your house?

It really doesn’t matter!
You are too involved in all this, and ‘know’ too much about it already. Butt out! Mind your own business. Do NOT get involved. Leave them to it.

Please don't go around telling others.
If you want to do anything you could advise neighbour B what actions they can take. Let them handle it.

Neighbour should take the recording to the police, say how she feels unsafe. She can do this just before she moves. A police visit to them will show the other neighbours who's the menace.

She should also go to small claims court if she has evidence of the wall prior to and post their work.

You will have to live with the neighbour A arsenal's, so be careful. Remember they are AHs and keep your distance when you can.

I wouldn't be paying someone to stop shouting at me, you are very biased. Not a penny is paid when you are innocent.

£250 isn't half of £2000

Anyway, stay out of it

You sound like you're waiting for permission to stop every neighbour in the street and go "You know how Neighbour A has been saying this about B? WELL let me tell you..."

Stay out. If other neighbours later share with you A’s version of events you can then say what you saw, and come to B’s defence.

You need to stay neutral here, and not do anything to inflame the situation.

If B feels intimidated or threatened by the actions of neighbour A then B should go to the police, especially if there is recorded evidence. Might be worth you making notes of what you’ve actually witnessed yourself.

It does sound like the neighbours in household A need to tread carefully given the level of professional conduct expected of solicitors.

If I were you, I'd stay out of it and not get involved. It's nothing to do with you. Keep your opinions to yourself and don't gossip about it with other neighbours. Let them work it out between themselves. My only caveat to that would be if you see either neighbour shouting or harassing the other, I would step in to defend the person and tell them to calm down and leave them alone. I wouldn't stand by and watch someone being verbally abused. But don't take sides in the dispute, you don't know who's in the right here.

I came on here expecting a story about your neighbour’s cows or cattle. Oops 😄

Re the argument, just keep out of it

Stop being such a busy body sticky beat! It’s absolutely nothing to do with you. Keep yourself to yourself and stop placing yourself in other people’s drama!

Sit tight and keep out of it. Neighbour A is moving anyway so it will be sorted.

Shouting at neighbours in the street? How very Eastenders! As they’re selling, have they told the estate agent there has been a neighbour dispute? Because that’s the law.

You should keep well out of it unless you see Neighbour A shouting at Neighbour B. Neighbour B can contact the police as a precaution if she feels harassed/threatened. Hope I’ve got that the right way round!

Get out your popcorn, huge beef between two sets of neighbours on our road.

You're overselling this. And you’re elevating yourself to a lead role in this little drama when you’re barely a background character.

I would be keeping well out of this and not trying to involve myself