my in laws are Pakistani, I am Muslim but not Pakistani.
i have 3 kids, dd1 9, about to be 10 in 2 weeks, ds2 who is 8, and dd2 who will be 2 in October.
when my dd turned 1 last year and she came over for dds 1st birthday my mil would make constant comments that i “ had the perfect with 2 kids before, a girl and a boy” but “oh you planned another one”
these comments hurt and i told my husband and he wasn’t happy but never confronted his mum,
regardless of girls or boys we have always said when we got married we wanted to have 3 children.
my mother in law has again come over to visit and dd2 is almost 2 now at the end of October, over the past few days she’s been saying the same comments,
” you had the perfect life with a girl and a boy but you went ahead and wanted another one now look she’s hard work”
“ if your sister in laws 2nd child was a girl ( he was a boy) she never would have planned a 3rd, she only had a 3rd because she wanted a girl”
“ oh this person manages their house hold so well, look they only have 2 kids, 1 girl and 1 boy”
just a reminder, my mother in law has 3 kids herself in the order of girl,boy and boy. That’s what makes this even worse.
it is affecting my mental health badly, dd is quite difficult, she’s never slept a night and I’m so sleep deprived and we are currently dealing with teething, but she is and was obviously very much wanted and planned by me and dh, we always said we wanted 3 kids, even though she’s hard work I love her unconditionally and this is hurting me, and because I’m sleep deprived it’s affecting my mental health and now I’m starting to feel like I shouldn’t have had another.
i honestly don’t know what to do, I don’t know why she’s making these comments to me on a daily basis, it’s not like I’m planning a 3rd, the 3rd is almost 2 years old and already alive! It’s really, really hurting me.