To leave my 5 year old in a doctors waiting room?

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have to go to the doctor in a couple of weeks- I made an appointment to talk about my mental health/ hormones, as I am really struggling with my emotions at the moment and don’t feel right at all.

The problem is, I’m a lone parent to my 5 year old Dd , and i don’t want her hearing the conversation for obvious reasons. I don’t have any childcare help at all- no local family, friends will all be working- and I am really not sure what to do with DD for those 10-15 mins. I am pretty sure she will be ok reading a book or colouring by herself in the waiting room, but WIBU to leave her? I’m a bit nervous as of course I’ll be behind a closed door.

That’s awful. Don’t be too hard on yourself about this. This is on others. They’re probably (hopefully) not even really aware that they’re doing this. They might just think “I don’t know why she gave me her number our children and not really friends” and ignoring it. Having said that the school gates can be very cliquey. People tend to stick to familiar and it’s not necessarily because of racism just maybe lack of understanding, stereotyping, etc. If you’re at the school gates, is there any people by themselves, can you stand next to them or say hi? Do this a few times, and more conversation develops? It’s incredibly hard to do though!! But better than approaching a big group. Are there any outside clubs for your children? Swimming lessons? Football teams? Dance classes? Activities at the local library? Hopefully there are some general outside school activities that you can get to know other parents at. You say the mums avoid you and your children. Do your children have friends? I suggest talking to the teachers if your children are feeling excluded and lonely. They can encourage friendships among the children. They might then hopefully lead to play dates and more integration. I’m really sorry you feel like this and are being excluded. I hope you manage to make some friends. It’s worthwhile trying the Peanut app too. Good luck

Call beforehand and either ask for a phone appt or if there receptionists would loon after her.

This reminds me of when one-of my DC had an 'interview' for admission to a school and the lovely office staff offered to look after my youngest (who was asleep anyway).

Please don't ask the receptionist to look after her. We're busy booking people in, booking referrals, ordering prescriptions, phoning people up with results, basically any number of things that precludes us from looking after a small child. Also she can't come into the office for us to watch her, there is rather a lot of medical equipment and electrical appliances about, not to mention confidential information.
Use headphones for her.

I was a GP receptionist. If you’d asked me to keep an eye on your child during your appointment I would have. We had several patients do this and was happy to help. The ones that bothered me were the parents who didn’t ask when they arrived and just left their child without saying anything.

Ask reception to pass a message on first or slip Gp a note. If they’re a good Gp they’ll find a way to talk discreetly when she’s in the room.

Call the surgery and explain this. The receptionists or a nurse should be able to keep an eye on her for you so you can speak to the doctor. I hope you are supported.

I'm sorry you are struggling. I think the headphones are a great idea, or does she have any little friends who she might be able to have a playdate with? I know I'd do that for a friend and so would most people.

People are being unkind and harsh. I think asking is the right thing to do, and if not, headphones or childcare. If it isn’t school hours and there is a preteen on your street it could be an easy job for them to sit in a waiting room for 15min.

FWIW my doctors do this for people sometimes

My GP has a chaperone that can sit with dc if the appointment is not appropriate.

I'm not sure what the problem is with little one going in as I have mental health problems and often have to take our twins 3 and 4 with me. It's not a hidden thing in our family, they happyily play or sit while I chat to gp

I agree headphones and phone are tge easiest solution. Otherwise it depends on the child ime - my eldest at 5 would have sat in the corner with a book and literally not moved if told to stay there and wait for me.

i would have thought this was perfect for a telephone appointment.

Does the surgery have an isolation room? Mine does and it can be locked to the waiting area but not to the staff. A tablet or a book and a 'special place' to read.

Otherwise you will have to take her in with you.

Op call the doctors and see if someone from the admin team can sit with her whilst you are in the appointment? I had to have a smear and no option but to take my baby as I have no support network and they had one of of the admin staff come and hold her so nurse and I could go ahead with the appointment, also I explained the issue a while before booking and they offered this, definitely worth asking. Hope you are ok xx

Family in village Germany.. The Kindergarten kids all walk to school together... No adults in sight..
Very different cultural expectations

I was going to suggest this. Kids friendly headphones and a nice engaging programme.

good luck with your appt

They may be. But they are also human and have compassion and empathy.

OP, I had this same scenario and I rang the surgery and asked what they would suggest I did. They said they would sit with my child whilst I had the appointment.

I would worry that even with headphones, he might hear something and I definitely think that type of conversation is something a 5yo needs to be protected from.

I hope you manage to find a solution. I know just how hard it is to take that first step and ask for help. Best of luck xx

There is no way I would "babysit" a child whilst their Mother had an appointment with a GP or Nurse and I'd definitely refuse to hold a child whilst the Nurse vaccinated them. I'm a stranger to that child.

Sometimes a GP comes out of their room holding a baby because Mum, after seeing the GP, needs to be seen quickly by the Nurse.

I won't have any interaction with a child, I'm too busy working and I'm not too keen on them anyway.

What a nasty comment to someone who is struggling with their mental health.

OP I think I would call the GPs, say you have an appointment on x date and you were wondering could it be changed to a phone appointment as you will have your dd and it concerns your mental health. Hopefully they will either do this, or if it's the kind of surgery with this approach, will say someone will keep an eye on her for you.
If you feel you are getting worse right now I would call and ask for an emergency appointment.
You need to look after yourself to look after anyone else.

Charming

@Betty1625 and by that comment you mean what precisely?

No issues with your approach.

Well aren't you a peach? Nothing wrong in saying not too keen on children. You know nothing about me and to say I have no compassion when you don't know me is an amazing feat.

I'll tell you what I did yesterday when I knew a family member of a palliative patient, who I've chatted to over the years through shared enjoyment of gardening, was calling in for his emergency prescription. I gave the family member a bag of home grown tomatoes I had brought into work to give to him with a note saying "with love" on it.

Is that good enough for you?