To leave my 5 year old in a doctors waiting room?

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have to go to the doctor in a couple of weeks- I made an appointment to talk about my mental health/ hormones, as I am really struggling with my emotions at the moment and don’t feel right at all.

The problem is, I’m a lone parent to my 5 year old Dd , and i don’t want her hearing the conversation for obvious reasons. I don’t have any childcare help at all- no local family, friends will all be working- and I am really not sure what to do with DD for those 10-15 mins. I am pretty sure she will be ok reading a book or colouring by herself in the waiting room, but WIBU to leave her? I’m a bit nervous as of course I’ll be behind a closed door.

@teksquad Nurses and receptionists are not babysitters. They are expensive members of staff who are rather busy.

Can you take her in, but put her in big headphones, and let her watch a video, @BarbaraVineFan?

Surely iPad with headphones?

Take her in. Let her watch something with headphones on while you’re in there.

This is what I would do. Be patient and wait until school is back.

I’d be really surprised if the doctors would be okay with this. Have you not got any mum friends you could ask? I have and would always be happy to help out any of my friends in this position.

5 isn't she at school? Couple weeka she ahould be back at school. If not rearrange for school hours.
No thats not acceptable. I wouldn't do that until a child is at least 12 or 13.
But avoid this issue by booking an apt within school hours.

You are all right. I wasn’t thinking straight and the idea of headphones had never occurred to me! I’ll order some now :)

Sorry but no and they probably won’t allow it anyway. Who would be watching out for her? Not the receptionists. She would be alone with a room full of strangers.

I'm sure your colleagues aren't so busy with their own families that they would have a problem caring for your DD for an hour while you go to the doctors, particularly if you explain in the same way you have to us, ie, that you don't want your DD to hear what you need to discuss. I know I would happily do that for a colleague.

Op as a teacher you should be able to take time out for appointments if you can reasonably have them outside of school hours.

I know I'm support staff but have had to have numerous hospital appointments this year during my working hours. My head hasn't bat an eye at it, sometimes it just has to be done.

When I have to go in with my four year old I give him headphones and CBeebies stories on the radio. You’ll need to do similar and something to do with his hands.

This is also a great suggestion from a PP.

I am in the same situ. I have my DH but when he works and can't have time off my toddler and baby come with me. I have 0 family and friends local now mum friends. Been rejected by the groups. We go but no one wanta to socliase deapite my biggest efforts. Volunteering to make food and sort out snacks. They all arrange to do things together. I am the only non white person. And look different in my dress. But born in the UK and can conversate very well. All smiles but they never include me I gave my mobile number to be added to the groups and never added. They avoid me and my children. I have tried multiple groups and have 0 Mum friends.
I can empathize with OP. It is lonely

Hospital is different from GP, and support is different from needing to be the one in front of a class (who will be there regardless) or asking for cover.

I personally wouldn't do this op. 99% of the time gp surgeries are safe and fine but you need to remember that a very wide cross section of the public are coming through the doors and you don't want your child unattended if someone becomes seriously ill in the waiting room/ is struggling with psychosis or other mental illness/ addiction etc and becomes volatile. These things can happen and would obviously be highly upsetting and scary. There's good reason why she'd need to be supervised there at all times never mind that 5 is young and there's potential for her to leave or be lured away. Equally, I wouldn't bring her into an appointment where its possible you could get upset or her overhear the details of how you're feeling.

It's also obviously important that you get to your appointment so I think that requesting a phone appointment where you can be home with her but set her up in a different room with a tablet and headphones would actually be the best option here unless you have a colleague who could watch her for half an hour. People are busy with families, yes, but there's also a lot of people out there who would love to build on their network of support but like you, don't know how to approach it. So by asking you're also opening the door to returning the favour for someone else. If you got someone to babysit it would also mean you'd be able to give yourself some time after your appointment incase you don't feel emotionally able to jump straight into parent mode again.

I know the culture in schools can be challenging but if there were issues with you attending a medical appointment then I think your union could have a field day with that. You may be a teacher but you're still a human being and especially as a lone parent it's essential that you fill your own cup. Some schools seem to be better than others in that respect so if where you're currently at doesn't value the health or wellbeing of their staff then it might be worth considering other schools. You are important.

I had a phone appointment when I was struggling with my mental health and actually found it easier than talking to someone in person so this might be a good option as others have said.

Does your child have any friends they could have a play date with for a couple of hours? With the promise to return the favour? Or as other PP suggest, request a telephone appointment. I definitely wouldn't leave them in the waiting room at that age.

Explain when you get there I am sure there will be a member of staff to keep an eye but please DO NOT leave her without discussing it with someone first!

No, you can't leave a 5 year old unattended in an office. 🙄 That's a terrible idea.

Find other childcare or bring her in with you but that could be challenging.

I’m so sorry, that’s rubbish and you deserve better xxx

I am so sorry that is your experience, people never cease to shock me.

Headphones are definitely the way to go. And you’ll get years of use from them. Hope you get it all sorted x

Sorry to hear this. I have a very small network, have made one mum friend now which is great but at school now and I’m on the outside for sure. Have you tried Peanut app? I was on it and didn’t have any luck meeting up but shared some messages. It’s an app designed to help mums meet other local mums. You might have some luck? Keep trying, your people are out there, as are mine, somewhere! x

This is a great suggestion.