To not get TikTok and Snapchat on 12yr olds phone

[Monster6]

Just that really. I know these apps have 13+ ratings, I also know many kids have them before that age. Standing my ground regarding NOT getting these for ds. I feel like Im a total anomaly! Some parents I know who’ve got them (specifically Snap) have ended up deleting due to bullying. I Read the class WhatsApp last night as part of regular check of child’s phone and it was toxic af. And that’s just WhatsApp!!! 🤨

DD12 is only allowed WhatsApp, hell will freeze over before I allow tiktok and Snapchat, especially with Snapchat deleting messages.

Don’t do it. don’t do it. don’t do it.

I’ve allowed WhatsApp. But not TikTok insta or Snapchat.

Dd is still socially ok (nearly 15 now) but doesn’t run with the popular pack.

Hold your nerve.

Straw poll…three replies all say don’t/in support of not getting. The toxicity of what youngsters are dealing with scares me. At least when I was at school you could escape at night, now it follows them around. So stressful

YANBU at all!
They don't need any of it and nothing positive will be gained from it.

I’ve brought up DD to understand the risks of Snapchat and the crap that comes with it. She also feels that those with a reputation at the school use it, and she now never wants Snapchat.

Yep not allowed in this house. You're not alone op.

My son is 13 and is only allowed WhatsApp. I would absolutely not allow Snapchat and don't really understand TikTok! Thankfully, he's pretty sensible with his phone, and doesn't yet want anything else. I check his phone from time to time and all fine so far.

I should say that yes I allow WhatsApp, and nothing really to report so far apart from ‘should I kill myself poll’ (which some kids voted yes for) the ‘no one likes you, you have no friends…’ and the boys calling out girls for being fat/ugly etc. Not my ds involved…other ‘little darlings’ who seem to have grown into monsters. 👹

DS11 only allowed WhatsApp and I watch that like a hawk. Snap and Tik Tok fry their little brains.

Neither allowed in this house. Id say in my daughters peer group 3/4 of parents allow it and 1/4 dont.

Don't do it.

It’s toxic and will absolutely kamikaze their attention span. For their and your benefit hold out for as long as possible.

My DC has a balance phone to make it impossible to even access social media or any other harmful crap. Its just got whatsapp and the 'nice' features such as maps, email, camera etc. Its great

My 12yo isn't allowed Snapchat/Instagram but does use TikTok. He begs regularly for Snapchat but I will not cave!
I check his TikTok regularly though and he's well aware if there's the slightest dodgy thing it's being deleted.

Thank you OP, for reassuring me that I have made the right decision to not let my 11 year old get a smartphone. Your description of everyday bullying from WhatsApp is awful.

Nope, they are on the banned list here and despite frequent requests from DD they will remain banned for as long as I can get away with it. I’m hoping by the time she’s old enough to have full control over her phone they’ll have died off.

I allow WhatsApp with safeguards, she can’t be added to group chats by unknown contacts or receive messages from unknown contacts, me or her dad need to approve any new contacts, her status is set to private, the delete chats after 24 hrs is turned off, all chats are backed up daily to the cloud, and there is a standing rule that if I ask to see the phone it’s handed over immediately or taken away for a really long time,

So here is the thing…I think the way I worded this post, it was going to attract responses from similar minded parents. But!!! We all know it’s not really like that ‘out there’. I think it’s quite surprising just how rare this is. Many sensible, educated parents seem to allow these apps for tweens with minimal restrictions. Thanks for all the replies. Not gonna get them if I can get away with it, for ever, tbh. Enough shit to deal with growing up without welcoming trouble into our lives ✌🏻

DS (12) has a phone but he is definitely not allowed any form of social media apart from WhatsApp which he knows I can (and will) check regularly.

15 & 18 year old dds here and I banned tiktok and Snapchat as soon as they got phones. They have instagram & WhatsApp but even now my eldest turned 18, she understands the dangers of tiktok & Snapchat and doesn't want them.

At our new secondary school welcome meeting, one of the teachers said do not get this apps especially Snapchat so, this on top of all the other worrying issues that Snapchat and tiktok bring along, its a massive no from me too.

My ds11 has WhatsAppand he knows I can ask for his phone whenever I wish to check things.

I have a 12yo DD and she is not allowed those apps and I don’t care what others allow.

I’ve only just allowed TikTok. She’s 13 in Feb. Snapchat is a hard no

As a teacher, don't do it. The one thing I've noticed since the increase in TikTok usage specifically is the attention spans of kids have absolutely plummeted. 10 years ago, putting a film or a documentary on was a treat, it was a nice easy lesson. Now they can't get through a couple of minutes before getting distracted. A lot of them moan about putting on anything like that. I remember doing a few RE cover lessons, which involved watching relatively short clips and then doing an activity related to the clip. I could not get them to focus on any of it. I had 1/4 of the class removed (via several warnings through a behaviour system) before the rest stopped chatting through it.
I'm a massive hypocrite because I love TikTok, and my attention span is definitely worse than it was, but it's definitely having a huge impact on developing brains. I wouldn't let them have it until they're 16, and I would hope at that point they're mature enough to be able to make their own decision on it.

I posted about snap chat and number of teachers that gave examples of probelms it caused i decided against.

Eldest got it at 16. Younger dc will be 16 too. Eldest never bothered with tik tok. His other sibling got tiktok at 14