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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF asking to borrow money

60 replies

Bridgetjonesheart · 21/08/2025 23:48

So, someone who I knew in passing at school (in same year but barely spoke at school) went on to have a long term relationship with my sibling’s cousin. I can’t say an awful lot more as don’t want to reveal myself but let’s just say this person is someone I wouldn’t even consider an acquaintance. Yes we’ve exchanged pleasantry’s as adults, and have a family member in common but we are by no stretch of the imagination family or friends with each other. Which is why it totally and utterly baffles me that this person has started messaging me sporadically asking me to lend them 30-40 quid here and there. Out of confusion and also genuinely wanting to help, once or twice I have, and have had money returned on time however I find it extremely bizarre that I’m being asked. Of all the people. I’ve said no a few times too. I’m just really confused as we’re virtual strangers as far as I’m concerned. I don’t mind helping someone in need at all, I’m just confused by it and finding it hard to know when to cut and just admit this person is being a CF. What do you think?

OP posts:
ThreeTescoBags · 21/08/2025 23:52

I think if someone wants something, and you give it to them, they're going to keep asking until you say no.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 21/08/2025 23:55

The only confusing part of what you've written is why you're confused?

You've met a chancer.

The chancer took a chance with you (as well as no doubt many others) and you paid out 🤷‍♀️

Just tell them you've given yourself a new personal rule, that you're no longer lending money to anyone.

BaronessBomburst · 22/08/2025 00:22

They're asking you as they've exhausted all the closer options.

Vaxtable · 22/08/2025 00:28

surely your siblings cousin is also your cousin?

Delphiniumandlupins · 22/08/2025 00:30

Isn't your sibling's cousin also your cousin?

They keep asking for money because you sometimes give them some. It's a bit odd but if they always pay it back not particularly CF behaviour.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2025 00:34

I think they've paid it back in small amounts but the day will come when they ask for more and delay paying it back.

It's like feeding a cat that comes into your garden.. It's going to keep returning for more. But it isn't your cat and you have no obligations to lend them anything.

Unless this person is in desperate straights, they will be building a fiancial relationsip with you every time they borrow. It will be harder each time to say no. Tell them to ask your mutual relative.

Needspaceforlego · 22/08/2025 00:36

Vaxtable · 22/08/2025 00:28

surely your siblings cousin is also your cousin?

I'd assume half siblings.

Allisnotlost1 · 22/08/2025 00:38

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2025 00:34

I think they've paid it back in small amounts but the day will come when they ask for more and delay paying it back.

It's like feeding a cat that comes into your garden.. It's going to keep returning for more. But it isn't your cat and you have no obligations to lend them anything.

Unless this person is in desperate straights, they will be building a fiancial relationsip with you every time they borrow. It will be harder each time to say no. Tell them to ask your mutual relative.

What an odd analogy. If I feed a cat I don’t expect it to return the food.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 22/08/2025 00:44

Delphiniumandlupins · 22/08/2025 00:30

Isn't your sibling's cousin also your cousin?

They keep asking for money because you sometimes give them some. It's a bit odd but if they always pay it back not particularly CF behaviour.

My DB has siblings that aren't mine - same DM different sperm donor. I've never even met his other siblings.

BTECBetty · 22/08/2025 00:47

Are this person’s initials EM?

healthybychristmas · 22/08/2025 07:09

They asked you because absolutely nobody else would lend it to them. They repaid you because they needed to keep you on side for another loan later. You need to stop lending them money because sooner or later you won't get it back.

PInkyStarfish · 22/08/2025 08:44

Just block them.

I find it more bizarre that after describing this person as someone you barely know that you also admit to having leant them money previously.

MamaElephantMama · 22/08/2025 08:47

I would be blunt and tell them to stop asking and then block. Offer money once and unfortunately some people think that means it can be a constant deal.

Cherrysoup · 22/08/2025 08:51

Easy to stop given you’ve previously said no. Either do as a pp says and say you have a new rule, no lending or say no consistently until they stop asking you.

FinallyMovingHouse · 22/08/2025 08:56

They ask everyone and the ones who send money are asked again, it's that simple. You need to be straight and say you won't be giving/lending money any more and to stop asking.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 22/08/2025 09:02

They keep asking you because you’ve proved to be an easy mark.
Quite why you felt the need to say yes to a CF chanced you barely knew is beyond me. I think you need take work hard in your boundaries because you are the one who created this problem by saying yes the first time. Time to say no and mean it - forever!

HeronPond · 22/08/2025 09:05

It’s not clear why you’re confused. You have proven to this person you’re an easy mark. Of course they’ll keep asking!

tripleginandtonic · 22/08/2025 09:06

BaronessBomburst · 22/08/2025 00:22

They're asking you as they've exhausted all the closer options.

This. As long as they pay ot back and it's relatively small amounts I can't see an issue or any CF.

Original poster
Bridgetjonesheart · 22/08/2025 09:15

Vaxtable · 22/08/2025 00:28

surely your siblings cousin is also your cousin?

Not necessarily. Often people may have a different father to their sibling from the same mother. It’s not unusual here is 2025.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bridgetjonesheart · 22/08/2025 09:16

BaronessBomburst · 22/08/2025 00:22

They're asking you as they've exhausted all the closer options.

This. I suspected as much.

OP posts:
fthisfthatfeverything · 22/08/2025 09:17

If you feed a stray cat, it keeps coming back!

Original poster
Bridgetjonesheart · 22/08/2025 09:18

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2025 00:34

I think they've paid it back in small amounts but the day will come when they ask for more and delay paying it back.

It's like feeding a cat that comes into your garden.. It's going to keep returning for more. But it isn't your cat and you have no obligations to lend them anything.

Unless this person is in desperate straights, they will be building a fiancial relationsip with you every time they borrow. It will be harder each time to say no. Tell them to ask your mutual relative.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Bridgetjonesheart · 22/08/2025 09:18

@Dunnocantthinkofone fair comment.

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 22/08/2025 09:19

Siblings cousin?

MrsMoastyToasty · 22/08/2025 09:21

Respond with "I'm not a bank."