CF asking to borrow money

[Bridgetjonesheart]

So, someone who I knew in passing at school (in same year but barely spoke at school) went on to have a long term relationship with my sibling’s cousin. I can’t say an awful lot more as don’t want to reveal myself but let’s just say this person is someone I wouldn’t even consider an acquaintance. Yes we’ve exchanged pleasantry’s as adults, and have a family member in common but we are by no stretch of the imagination family or friends with each other. Which is why it totally and utterly baffles me that this person has started messaging me sporadically asking me to lend them 30-40 quid here and there. Out of confusion and also genuinely wanting to help, once or twice I have, and have had money returned on time however I find it extremely bizarre that I’m being asked. Of all the people. I’ve said no a few times too. I’m just really confused as we’re virtual strangers as far as I’m concerned. I don’t mind helping someone in need at all, I’m just confused by it and finding it hard to know when to cut and just admit this person is being a CF. What do you think?

If they are that much of a stranger why would you say Yes the first time.

Stop. Now.

Unless you're happy to lend money to strangers.

They're not being a CF. They asked to borrow money before and you said yes, so they just keep asking.

Some people are hopeless at living within their means.

Just say no and don't lend again. Perhaps offer to help them manage their finances if you feel bad for saying no and want to help? Or just ignore them.

@Bridgetjonesheart what @AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone said …

There is definitely the possibility that they have exhausted their closer options.

There is also the possibility that they are thinking that as you and they are not in each other’s lives, you will be easier to ignore when you are trying to get your larger loan back in the future.

Not surely. They’re obviously half siblings

Some people are chancers. There's a woman around the corner from me who used to knock on my door and ask for a tenner, then twenty. She seemed to think the world owed her cash. She had two children at DC's school so I used to give her the money. When I started working at a food bank I let them know about her and we dropped off groceries for her family once a week and she stopped asking me for money. I felt sorry for her but also astonished at her assumption that other people had ready cash to hand to virtual strangers. At least she never made a pretence of borrowing. It was definitely begging.

This sort of stuff can often be about establishing a pattern of trust.

They borrow small amounts and pay them back. Then they ask for a larger amount. Because they have always paid back before, you lend them the larger amount assuming they will pay it back. And then they don't pay it back.

Say no and block them. Simples.

I’m just really confused as we’re virtual strangers as far as I’m concerned.

I'm confused as to why you're lending money to a virtual stranger. I can understand their motivation, but not yours!

They've exhausted every other avenue.
I'd say you are one of many lenders in their life.

Im confused about why you are confused, they aren't a CF, they are asking and you're giving it to them. If you don't want to lend them money then just don't

Then you should have said “half sibling”. No one would have asked you then 😂

If they are a virtual stranger, why do they even have your number?

Also agree it would have prevented confusion if you had said half-sibling as opposed to sibling.

Some people lead very odd, dramatic interwoven lives.

Any virtual strangers near me do not have my number. And if they somehow did get it and texted me asking for money I wouldn’t even reply.

I was raised in the same house as my DB and he's even a different race to me, I never refer to him as my half brother - I'm sorry that it's confusing to you 🫣.

I thought it was implied and wasn’t really the crux of the post but next time I’ll include a genogram so people can really really let it sink in.

The sibling/half-sibling thing isn’t really relevant anyway. The question is whether OP should lend this person the money. And in my view, she shouldn’t.

The reason I asked about the initials in an earlier post is that something similar happened to me. It was a casual friend, who freely admitted she was asking me because it could be more like a business arrangement than with a closer friend (she offered interest). I got the money back, but it took ages, and she was sniffing around again for another loan recently. I was not burned twice.

Just.say.No.

mental that you would send them money once.

No wonder they have come back asking for more.

First post nails it.

Nothing else to say really.

@BTECBetty no

That’s a different situation though? I don’t think anybody said they found that confusing, did they?

The OP’s post is confusing because full siblings would have the same siblings.

Half siblings can have different cousins.

its like saying “my brothers mum”

So, surely your mum as well then?

Whereas “my half-brothers mum” is straight away clear that its not the speakers mum.

FFS stop squabbling about something that doesn't matter at all! Not you, OP!

They think you are an easy target, just say no and block.

If they're paying it back what's the issue? People have different levels of shame. I'd never do this! But if it works it works, and if she's paying you back she's doing nothing wrong.

maybe try asking THEM for a small loan? Say you need a small sum and see what they respond with. Might get rid of them, would be interesting so see how they react.