Should we move house due to not liking the layout?

[FigTree123]

I feel a bit crazy for asking this and very aware it sounds like such a non-problem! We moved into our current house just over 2 years ago (3 bed detached) with DS who is now 4. I had no real desire to move from our old house which was admittedly smaller and a bit tired - we had been there 7 years, DS was born there, and although it was missing some things we would like as a growing family, it felt like home and I was content. DH really hated it there by the time we moved so he pushed for it and I went along with it.

I digress... The current house although certainly an upgrade just doesn't do it for me. It's mainly the layout. Everything is on the ground floor bar the living room which is on a lower level (garden has to be accessed through there or down stairs at the side of the house). I don't like coming up to the kitchen and leaving DS downstairs, also it feels there is nowhere to sit when you come in the front door other than the kitchen table or DSs room which seems to happen often as it's the first room you come to. I feel there's no privacy with the bedrooms and the living area does not get used well. It doesn't feel like it flows well especially with a kid. So, we're considering moving but I worry that I'm being really silly about this?? If we moved it would be a similar size i.e 3 bedrooms but likely semi detached and cheaper, as we've also discovered we really don't have a lot of spare money just now to do many renovations alongside balancing holidays and what-not. As much as it's not working for me I still feel this ache that this is our home (a lovely one at that on paper) and we'd be starting again. Help!

I have my master bedroom where the living room used to be. I love a room switch!

You honestly have endless possibilities here. I like the suggestion of putting in a hallway so you could get garden access and still turn your lounge into a master bedroom - food for thought! Good luck whatever you decide😊

I’d move thr kitchen /dining room downstairs and put the living room upstairs.

Move!

i ended up stuck for 17 years in a house i hated with a (similar) layout which i hated from the beginning. We had reasons for buying it but it never felt right or like home but it was back when you could get a 100% mortgage (another bad decision as we were young) & before the market crashed. Had kids and were completely stuck and didn’t put an extension on as soon as we moved in (before kids) which would have made it better but still not right. It was our house and we brought the kids home to it, my family members who’ve passed now had been in it, our wee dog went to sleep in it - soooo many memories and after really hating it for about 10 years (wasn’t too bad until we had kids) we finally did 2 years ago and i love it here! It’s smaller, garden is tiny & costs a good bit more each month but i wish we had been able to do it sooner! If you are genuinely unhappy nothing will change no matter what you do the house. That feeling of regret and buying the wrong house didn’t leave me and it got worse the more our family grew into it. Ours was also a bit of rushed decision but i always knewdeep down it was the wrong house. We went from 7 years left our mortgage to 15 which we are hoping to pay off in 12 years so 10 to go. Still before retirement age and 100% worth it to not have to be in the old place!

You’re not being crazy. That’s a terrible layout and doesn’t work for a family. Building materials and labour costs are through the roof right now so any change is going to be costly. I vote for moving.

@Allbymyself123 @GoodOldTrayBake thanks for your advise I appreciate it. We really have thought about all of the other suggestions about switching rooms around and things, to move the kitchen downstairs we just don't have the funds for and then we're still left with a living room separately. I've agonised over this for months and honestly it's knocking me sick! I totally get about all the memories in the home, although we've only been here a couple of years I keep thinking of the birthdays and Christmases we've had. Also, it's a bit of feeling like I "should" like the house because it's large-ish and detached, and was completed to a high spec when we bought so family have etc have always been a bit wow and pleased for us for moving to something better after our first house. To take a step backwards feels wrong even though it would probably be better for us as family.

I’d knock through to the garage and turn that and bedroom 3 into a living room. Turn the downstairs lounge into two big bedrooms. Will surely cost less than moving?

or leave the garage as it is and knock bedrooms 1 and 2 together into a lounge and then the lounge into 2 bedrooms, would probably be cheaper. If the wall between the two bedrooms isn’t structural you could knock it out yourself in a day. Then it’s just new carpet, touch up the plaster and decorate.

downstairs would just be a stud wall and plaster, decorate.

Got to be cheaper than stamp duty, solicitors fees, estate agent fees, etc?

If money is tight can you add to your mortgage to finance it?

otherwise how are you going to finance a house move? I guess by downsizing to a smaller/cheaper house but that really is throwing money away 🤷‍♀️.

Nothing structural needs done to the property. Only switching rooms, around and will save a fortune. I strongly suggest trying that first and if you both feel it isn't for you then move on to Plan B. Surely makes sense to try out the cheapest option and move forward from there?

Id put a partition wall down the middle of the living room and split that in two and give yourselves 2 bedrooms so toddler is next to you downstairs. That would be really cheap. Move the living room upstairs do a playroom and snug at first and then if this layout is working better you can turn the 2 upstairs bedrooms into one large living room- or when toddler is a bit older start sleeping on different floors.

Honestly we've talked through all of these options and I would be happy to do any of them to save the hassle of moving. It's my husband doesn't want to do any of them,.he doesn't think it would look good and says it's unaffordable. So basically it's either leave the house as is, which is a no for me, or move elsewhere. I'm sat in floods of tears this morning just so overwhelmed with it all, I'm scared to make the wrong decision.

@Largeherbivore this was my favourite option although the second room downstairs would be tiny and would have the garden doors attached, then we're left with one bedroom upstairs which in future may be for a second child

I think the fact it's so unusual in layout is a positive actually as there are endless possibilities for changing it how you want it.

I’m no good with measurements but could you create a kitchen/diner room in the kitchen, put in a small sofa?

I wouldnot rush to buying another house, you and DH seem to want different things.

All of us are just trying to help, we don't want to cause upset😞

I am sure you will both talk more about the best decision going forward. Good luck 🤗

Balancing holidays? I’d personally skip any holidays for a couple of year and save that money to put towards a house move or renovations if needed. Then move when I had some saved cash. I definitely couldn’t stay in the house your in with the layout

I have two friends with houses like this but the kitchen diner is downstairs for one. It’s big enough it’s like a family room too.

The other has a sofa in the kitchen diner and it’s also more like a family room with the formal lounge downstairs on its own.

I would make the current lounge into two bedrooms from the measurements on the floorplan they should roughly be the same size as the current bedroom 1 and 2. Then knock bedrooms 1 and 2 through to make a living room.

Alternatively (but more costly) move the kitchen diner into the current lounge downstairs and have the kitchen diner as a living room.

Surely the cheapest and easiest way to deal with this is to turn the dining area in to a living/diner?

tv on the wall, smallish sofa, nice rug etc.
not sure of size of you current table and chairs so you may need to get new of size is an issue.

sister has a house with kitchen and dining room on lower level, lounge and one bedroom on first floor, and then three bedrooms on the second.

she has her kitchen, dining table kind of slap bang in the middle and then the other side of the room is the lounge area.

she then uses the upstairs lounge as the ‘good room’

Ok for now could you turn the dining room bit into a seating area with sofa? As you say you have nowhere to sit when you come in. Turn the bedroom near the garage into a dining area/room. You just need to move furniture/buy a second hand or cheap sofa. Still have downstairs as a bigger family room/lounge. See how that works for a bit?

It’ll be fine, OP. The kids will grow and be fine on a different floor before you know it. For now, move DS into bedroom 2 and make a cute little snug in his room, for you and DH to hang out in the evenings. Get a play area set up in the kitchen/diner for when you need to be in there, but make the lounge your go-to space for everyone as much as possible.

Is money the problem or the house? I.e. if you had the money could you change the house to how you wanted?
Moving is expensive too, so if you can't afford either right now then either work towards that or hopefully find a temp solution you can be happier with.

How big is the downstairs living room? And how is the access? Could you somehow make the living room access your main access? If that too much of a faff? Some people never use their front door!
Is the room big enough to set up a kind of mini kitchen in there, in addition to your main kitchen upstairs? So tea point, small fridge, breakfast items etc and a small table?

It still might cost a little money to do this (if you could get water/waste downstairs), but considerably less than big renovations.

I just don't know what the alternative is to moving if DH won't entertain the options of moving rooms around, be it for cost or feeling that it won't work or won't add value. How much are garage conversions does anyone know?

good luck whatever you decide! My waffly post was to show that despite so many memories and 1sts there that feeling never left & despite my new house being a “soulless” new build it’s got all i want in terms of layout and whilst it’s so much better my oldest was 13 when we did it & i wish we’d had the benefit of it when the kids were younger & memories go with you.

yes, you can make changes (if you can afford it) but if i spent £100k on my old house it wouldn’t have been enough! We bought at the top end of our budget for a forever home so the first year or so i could push away the niggles. We knew we shouldn’t have bought it (there were reasons why we did) & the cost & negative equity meant it was about 10 years before we could start to look & by then the kids were settled in school so we stayed & were both miserable and needed to start spending money as by then the house was about 20 years old & needed updating & we didn’t want to spend it hence taking on longer / more expendive mortgage that we wouldn’t have been in a position to do.

I moved rooms about too & looked at extensions & knocking walls down but we’d never have made back what we spent & i didn’t like the house enough to accept that so we did nothing which was worse.

i was “lucky” in that the flow didn’t work but bedrooms were big and we had more than we needed & a big garden which all came in handy in covid. Moving meant we lost a bedroom, lost a lot of storage cupbboards & have a postage stamp garden so to most people it was probably a daft decision but it was 100% the right thing for us & i have never felt sad or missed the old house.

sorry another long waffly post but can you see yourself happily in that house in 5, 10, 15 years time? If you think you can be happy then do what you have to but if you know deep down you can then if your husband is on board then seriously look at moving & what it entails & whats on offer before it is too late (no matter what anyone else says or thinks) listen to your gut!

Can you get a small dining table at the kitchen end of the kitchen, either inside the u or against the opposite wall? Then you can have sofa, tv etc at what’s currently the dining end. We have a dining kitchen slightly bigger than yours and tbh we rarely use any other reception room.

you have mentioned that money is tight at the moment, can you afford to move? Chances are that you will be loosing money if you sell so quickly after you have moved in.