to think DH shouldn't send emails to some woman saying "I need cheering up...." when I'm away visiting my mum?

[devonsmummy]

Have found a couple of emails that DH (or just make that H, as he's not darling at the moment!) sent to a woman while I was away visiting my mum for a week.

He says in the email that me & DS are away and he's feeling a bit down and needs some cheering up........

The fact he's called her Rachie and the ....... after need some cheering up have really got me.

Am I being unreasonable? I take the ...... as him saying if you know what I mean (nudge nudge wink wink).

In her reply she says she'll be on MSN later and miss talking to ya and ends with love ya loads an miss u like madxxxxxxxxx

He replied saying he'd speak to her on MSN later - the not knowing what was said is driving me nuts.

When I asked who she was he said Just someone's wife that I used to play online pool with he also said she contacted him and that she is married - when from her MSN name you can tell she's seperated. Also found a picture of her that she'd MSN'd him.

Until now I would have said I trusted him with my life to not be unfaithful but now I'm really not sure what to think.

That does sound dodgy, especially 'miss u like madxxxxx'

He calls her Rachie?! Very cosy. ASk him again.

if he sent it while you were away, iwould take it that he misses you and feels lonely.

this other twat is probably just a friend of his and no more, and just wanted a chat.

still bash him round the head with frying pan once daily for a week for good measure though!

Blimey, sounds a bit too familiar to me, if it is just someone's wife why is she missing him like mad?

I would not be happy and would be asking many questions.

Yes, why is she missing him like mad??? What have they done that makes her miss him?? Seen each other, texts, chat or what??

Bloody hell he'd have some questions to answer if this was my DH.

Hmmm ... that would not make me happy at all. I think you need a word.

Incidentally, why did you read his emails in the first place? Were you suspicious?

'miss you like mad' .... alarm bells are ringing loud and clear ...

When I found them I called him at work & asked who she was ( not saying I'd found the emails ) and he said someones wife who he played online pool with.

I now realise I'd have been better waiting until he came home to see his expression.

He's deleted the emails and deleted her from his MSN and email address books and thinks that's the end of it.

He says I'm being stupid to think he'd throw away what he has with me & DS - but to me that's just a standard reaction of a guilty person.

Didn't speak the night I found them, he went to work before I got up next day & didn't speak last night either. I suppose I should be brave and question him again

I read the emails as we did share an email address and I still receive emails

Can you email her now!?

god i would be going mental.

How has he been since you confronted him? If he is innocent he won't be grumpy with you or anything.

Have you checked the MSN logs? Some people turn them off, but if he has them on you will find a log of everything they've ever typed to each other (you won't know what was said if they've voice chatted).

I guess, if these email exchanges were made on a shared email address (and assuming that he is aware that you still receive them?), then perhaps it could have been rashly written with a bit of flirtation ..
But it really does sound like they've been flirting for some time now .. to be able to write 'miss you like mad' and 'xxxx' ... I mean, why would she miss him like mad? What sort of time together have they spent for her to miss him like mad?

Sorry if this is making you worse than you already do...IMO, YANBU.

Hmm sounds a bit like he needed an ego stroke but thats a far as it went. Sounds like just some flirting. Thinking out loud here but if you share an email account he must have known you'd see the mails - do you think he was sub-consciously trying to indicate from you that he needs a bit more attention from you?? You know how strangely mens minds can work (or am I crediting him with too much cleverness!!??) - maybe he thought if you saw other women were showing him an interest or have I got that totally wrong??
He was probably just bored and she was willing and available to stroke his ego like I said. If he needed cheering up he should have called you.

but janmmi, personally, I wouldn't write off 'xxxxx' to a male-friend and definitely not when he's married too. I sign off 'xx' with texts and all, but to female friends. Definitely not to male friends (unless he's like a best childhood friend or something like that, even before DH came on to the scene, IFKWIM)

I would be really unhappy about this. If he was missing you, why didn't he pick up the phone and call.

Sounds dodgy, I would keep my eye on him.

MSN used to save chat logs to your computer of your conversations so you may be able to find out what they were talking about unless he's disabled them.

Sorry, but if it were me I would be having a serious word with him.

Before you get too wound up reading all the responses we're posting here why don't you try sitting down with him and talking about it openly and properly - tell him its upset you and made you feel really uncomfortable and that its a form of infidelity to you. At least then he knows the boundaries and you've explained to him why you're so hurt??

so how do I check the MSN chat log?

I did try doing this but couldn't suss it out. Also will the fact he's deleted her mean I can't check now?

I am completely useless with computers!!

What do you mean by c and p LITTLELAPIN??

i think it means copy and paste?