To think that a minimalist home means the person has minimal emotional baggage and unresolved issues, so they don’t need lots of stuff with emotional attachments?

[WryJadeWren]

Inspired by the other thread…

I believe a minimalist living space reflects someone with a clear mind and emotional clarity, someone who’s worked through their issues and doesn’t feel the need to hold on to material possessions for sentimental reasons. On the other hand, people who live in clutter or are hoarders are often holding onto things because of unresolved emotions or relationships. They tie meaning to their possessions as a way of keeping hold of the past and often struggle with letting go due to emotional or mental exhaustion. It seems like clutter is more about emotional baggage than about a lack of meaningful connections.

But surely with so much being accessible online means much less paperwork, fewer or even no books, magazines, vinyl, etc? Clothes bought, sold, exchanged by vinted and similar, creating the illusion of a capsule wardrobe.

Someone’s home might appear minimalist on the visible surface, but they have masses of digital clutter, streaming subscriptions with enormous Watch lists that you don’t know about.

I have a very minimalist apartment. My last flat was pretty bare, too. Not many possessions, or plants, or pictures hung up. There’s no “woman’s touch”😂 I need to feel a sense of control in many aspects of my life and the less clutter (well, none), the better I feel.Interestingly, the less money I have at my disposal the more I feel it can’t be taken away or I can’t “waste it”. I don’t like unnecessary things in my life. This could explain/link to my dismissive avoidant attachment style. The same way I can discard people I don’t really have a connection to if they become an inconvenience or stress me out, is the same way I discard, say, a wooden spoon, that’s gotten caught in the drawer twice. I am a free spirit in a sense, but it’s intentionally curated. Anyway, I defo have some issues- a minor inconvenience or not finding something exactly where I know I put it can cause silent rage.

Actually, my parents house is full is clutter. Maybe that’s simply why. Clean, but chaotic. They actually grew up in a rural village in a developing country and that could explain that.

its minimalist here. It makes life easier keeping the place clean and obviously tidy.

If I don’t need something, I get rid of it. why do I need stuff from years ago dumped around the place for no reason.

Just like a tidy, clutter free house, nothing deeper than that.

That's interesting
I'm a horder ,my loft is full to the brim of what I can't get rid of and have accumulated over the years .
But mine comes from twice as a child loosing all my possessions.
I can still remember precious cuddly toys gone and books

I wish I could be like this
Mess and clutter gets me in a state

That’s what I found, once I had CBT and got on top of my OCD my house has more stuff on display and is a lot more lived in looking.

I keep my home minimalist and clear because that’s how I want my mind to feel. Not because it already is.

For me minimalism isn’t Spartan either though. I keep a cosy home, I just don’t hoard a lot of unnecessary crap.

I wouldn't say I was emotionally connected to my clutter though.

I like a clear house, but I don't need a clear house to keep sane, or to keep my mind clear or concentrate. I am able to ignore it. I am perfectly capable of sleeping like a baby, knowing that I haven't done the dishwasher or hoovered, whereas some people I know would be stressing over it.

On the other hand, I'm not really into ornamentation - pictures on the walls, curtain swags, jewellery or little vases or other dust-gatherers don't exist in my house.

I don't think you can deduce the state of someone's mind from their house personally.

To me, a truly minimalist house seems conversely wasteful - because they must be throwing things away at some point and having to re-buy things because they can't (for example) rummage through a cupboard and find a substitute item that they'd kept 'just in case'

My friend has to keep buying things she's already got because she can't find things among all the clutter!

My dh is very minimalist and what I’ve come to realise over the years is that he doesn’t have any emotional attachment to anything, people or possessions. I know that he loves me a lot and we have been together for 21 years but I genuinely think if I died he would be able to get over it pretty quickly and wouldn’t experience huge amounts of grief. We have two kids and he doesn’t reminisce over their baby photos or when I remind him of silly stuff they used to do, he doesn’t care for photos because he says he has memories in his head. I’m very tidy and hate clutter but I do have emotional attachment to things such as in the loft both my kids have a box each with certain baby things in that I want to keep, I love it when old photos pop up on my phone and I keep things like cards or little presents the kids made me at pre school. If he had his way all of that would be in the bin because it’s in the past and we don’t need it.

It means they have no personality and still influenced by IKEA in the 90s 🤷🏽‍♀️

My flat is pretty messy and almost all of that is caused by things I definitely don't have emotional attachment to - the books, ornaments and pictures aren't the problem, nor the stuff from my mum's house which is sorted through and put away in boxes.
It's all the other stuff! Piles of paperwork that needs sorting, stuff from my kids room clear outs that is not quite in good enough condition to take to charity shops (Lego sets with pieces missing etc) but it seems a shame to bin so I've put it to one side so it just sits there, there's a big bag of primary school uniform that someone was going to pick up from the local freebee site but cancelled...
I suppose there's a guilt issue in that I definitely don't think you should put something in landfill if someone else could use it, so it then becomes a bigger job that takes time to sort. Hmm.

I'd assume they were emotionally detached, highly transactional people, possibly bereft of a sense of belonging and any desire to lay down roots. Equally though, I'd assume a messy, chaotic, cluttered house is the sign of a disorganised brain that struggles to let go of the past.

My house is lived in, but tidy, and I sometimes feel obliged to purge - whatever that says about me!

I think its way more complicated than that to be honest. I know one minimalist person. She had a bad upbringing, her (limited) possessions were withheld on the most minor of provocations as a discipline method. So she just doesn't have stuff, because if you dont have it, it can't be taken away as a means to cause pain - coupled with the fact she doesn't think she deserves to have nice things having been told her whole childhood what a bad person she is. It's terribly sad.

Nope. Definitely not. In many cases quite the opposite.

In my case it was the exact opposite. I had a minimal home, because I didn’t want to keep possessions because I had absolutely zero good memories to attach to them. I had a terrible childhood with an abusive stepmother and was incapable of emotional attachment - to objects or people.

I had kids, and started to actually make memories with them that were not painful to recall, so I kept some
stuff, but not a lot. And then I got divorced - and the stuff I took was mainly things that reminded me of experiences with my kids.

I met a man who has things, and had therapy, and realised that emotional attachments are not a bad thing.

I'm still a tidy person, but am now relaxed enough that I don’t have to clean every room as I leave it, and have even been known to leave dishes overnight! And as I look around my house, everything I see holds joyful emotions for me - I’m never going to be a maximalist but I’m now comfortable enough with my life and my past and my character to actually have it expressed in my home

That’s a very simplistic view. It may be correct in some cases. I don’t think I am holding on to stuff for any other reason than it reminds me of a very happy, stable home. Gifts my Mum and close friends have given me I find hard to dispose of because they were gifts from special people etc etc. So for warm and happy reasons.

Conversely you could argue that people with minimalist homes who dont hold onto thing for nostalgic things don’t feel emotional attachment, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. Again, that will be true of some but not all.

For me it’s practicality. If I’m given something as a present, often I’m thinking “what am I meant to do with that, where the hell am I going to put it”.

My parents now normally give me money. Years ago they would buy things “for the house, as we thought it would look nice”. The penny probably dropped when they never saw any of it in the house.

Needless clutter without a purpose.

Nope, it means they are someone who follows the current fashion in home decoration etc. and cannot think for themselves.

HTH.

Depends what is meant by minimalism. I’m minimalist because I don’t own a lot of things. But my home is cosy, just uncluttered and I’m mindful of what I collect in life. Minimalist as a design style is not my cup of tea. Very stark.

I’ve a minimalist house and no clutter and I’m crazee ……!!!!

Yeah I would say the opposite, that having a minimalist home is actually something that helps people who do feel chaotic inside to feel less chaotic.

I mean I also think that if your a hoarder that probably reflects its own set of psychological issues.

This would be true for me.
clutter is triggering

Do we know each other…? 😂

They might not like dusting.