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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sexist comments after he parked in front of my garage

74 replies

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 20:15

We live in an Edwardian property with a back lane. We live in the double upper at number 8 and have a garage/the back garden. Our downstairs neighbour is lovely and we park across our garage and she parks along the rest of the garden wall. The rest of the properties on the back lane have the same set up.
However, the downstairs neighbour at number 6 (next door but we live on the even side of the street) has taken to parking across our garage and the garden wall. This means we either cannot access our garage and neither us or the downstairs neighbour can park along the remainder of the garden wall. This is despite the area of the back lane behind his property being free and when someone else is parked in his bit (very rarely) there isn’t really any rhyme or reason. There is also a side street where you can park and if for any reason a tradesperson or another car is parked there we would just park here.

Today I drove up and he was parked over our garage I have a 14 week old baby and she was asleep in the back. My downstairs neighbour is away so I was able to back up and park in her usual spot. He comes out to get something from his car he then looks at me and heads back in… I call after him and ask him to not park across our garage. He then says someone is parked outside his usual spot and I say well that doesn’t really have much to do with you being over my garage. He says well he just parks where there is a space and I say to him well our understanding and everyone else’s (he is the only problem neighbour) is that if the space behind your garden is taken you park in the side street you don’t then continue to inconvenience your neighbours. I also explain we have the baby and need to get her in and out. The spot where he parks is also entirely overgrown with weeds and brambles. I say to him that if he thinks it’s a free for all he should also clear that so people can get in and out the car if he chooses to park where he likes. My other half cleared the area for both ourselves and the downstairs neighbour and I think this is why he likes to park there! He then says no he doesn’t want to do that as it encourages people to park there…… I am at a loss at this point he then says “what do you want out of this conversation” I’m like for you to stop parking in front of my garage!

He then says that I am getting emotional and he understands I have just had a baby and the hormones are probably having an effect on my emotions and I am probably having issues at home. I AM BLOWN AWAY. I have zero idea why he had to get personal. He is also looking at me like I’m a total weirdo.

I tell him to stop being patronising and to just stop parking in front of my garage and he says he will park where he likes… I’m like cool you do what you want as what the hell else can I say… he then says thank you for giving me your permission. I said stop trying to get the last word and stop parking there! He then again says I know you have your baby and that is probably making you struggle because well actually I won’t say anything else with a smug look on his face. I think trying to insinuate I was nuts due to being postpartum. He then turns away and this is the kicker DOES NOT MOVE HIS CAR. Also he didn’t get anything out his car so I think it was just a power move. I am 30 and I would say he is max 37 so don’t think this is an excuse of being from a different generation ie sexism and being horrible to mothers is normal.

My other half is away but will be having words with him when he gets back. Thoughts on this scenario?

OP posts:
NotSmallButFunSize · 20/08/2025 21:15

There's a book called How to Piss off Men - lots of comment suggestions like "can we talk when you're less emotional" and all the other shit men usually aim at women.

Get it and use it on him at all times.

Doesn't help the parking but might make you feel better. Honestly don't know how you didn't punch the fucker in the throat for that hormone comment, am absolutely livid on your behalf!! Absolute cock.

MathsMum3 · 20/08/2025 21:23

Please can we have a plan? I can't get past the fact that if he's blocking your garage, he's clearly and unequivocally in the wrong, but there must be more nuance, otherwise why the post?

namechangedforvalidreasons · 20/08/2025 21:33

DisplayPurposesOnly · 20/08/2025 20:21

He's a cunt.

Nailed it.

obviously it would be illegal to let his tyres down so why don’t you slash them instead

joking. How about you and the lady downstairs block him right the fuck in and refuse to move?

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 21:38

MathsMum3 · 20/08/2025 21:23

Please can we have a plan? I can't get past the fact that if he's blocking your garage, he's clearly and unequivocally in the wrong, but there must be more nuance, otherwise why the post?

There really is no nuance I just wanted to feel validated haha! I have a feeling he may be very abusive to his partner as even in that interaction I felt he was trying to gaslight me. Spinning it round like I was in the wrong. In some ways I’m worried about her (my partner and I previous suspected this but I’m even more convinced now)!

OP posts:
Hiptothisjive · 20/08/2025 21:56

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 20:32

It’s a shared lane as the houses are so old the actual ownership of the land isn’t clear but there is a deed of servitude and we have a right of access over the land as well as prescription rights (we live in Scotland). I don’t want to go legal but merely some neighbourly cooperation would be nice!

OP why don’t you out on a rising bollard and give a key to you and your nice neighbour. He can’t park there and then no need for confrontation (him).

You can’t argue with crazy or stupid and he may just be both.

Snugglemonkey · 20/08/2025 21:58

Is he parking across your garage door?

thequeenoftarts · 20/08/2025 22:00

If you use your garage then call the police and have his car towed away, as he is blocking your right of way/exit. A few times of his car being towed and costing him might make him rethink his actions. A bottle of bleach all over his paintwork would be so satisfying, but he would probably do the same to your car, so not worth it. He sounds like one of those don't tell me what to do men. Are their cameras in the laneway? If not car could get towed to oh 100 miles away in the middle of the night

Snugglemonkey · 20/08/2025 22:01

Also, he is definitely a cunt.

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:03

Snugglemonkey · 20/08/2025 21:58

Is he parking across your garage door?

Yes! And still is right now!

OP posts:
ChilliChoco · 20/08/2025 22:07

I think he is sort of man who will only listen to another man. Do you know any big guys who could have a chat with him?

ItscoldinAugust · 20/08/2025 22:17

thequeenoftarts · 20/08/2025 22:00

If you use your garage then call the police and have his car towed away, as he is blocking your right of way/exit. A few times of his car being towed and costing him might make him rethink his actions. A bottle of bleach all over his paintwork would be so satisfying, but he would probably do the same to your car, so not worth it. He sounds like one of those don't tell me what to do men. Are their cameras in the laneway? If not car could get towed to oh 100 miles away in the middle of the night

The police really aren't interested in these type of problems.

Get the deeds out. Solicitor? Bollard?

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:17

It would be terrible if he got a puncture

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:20

ChilliChoco · 20/08/2025 22:07

I think he is sort of man who will only listen to another man. Do you know any big guys who could have a chat with him?

I absolutely agree. The fact that me being a mother and being overly emotional was the first thing that came into his mind spoke volumes not I'm pissed off you are parked over my freaking driveway and seem to have an unending dosage of the audacity. My other half was a known as being “hard” (we are Scottish not sure if you use that elsewhere but basically known as tough) back in the day albeit now retired so he wont worry about telling him whats what. He equally hates the guy just from previous behaviour and his general demeanour!

OP posts:
Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:22

thequeenoftarts · 20/08/2025 22:00

If you use your garage then call the police and have his car towed away, as he is blocking your right of way/exit. A few times of his car being towed and costing him might make him rethink his actions. A bottle of bleach all over his paintwork would be so satisfying, but he would probably do the same to your car, so not worth it. He sounds like one of those don't tell me what to do men. Are their cameras in the laneway? If not car could get towed to oh 100 miles away in the middle of the night

His car is a total shitbox and ours is a brand new very nice car so I don’t want to run that risk but I absolutely agree with the sentiment! I don’t really think the police will come along but I have had permission from a police officer friend to smear baby’s nappy over this windscreen haha.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 20/08/2025 22:23

Drop a little on the door handle.

We'll see who's emotional.😈

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:24

ItscoldinAugust · 20/08/2025 22:17

The police really aren't interested in these type of problems.

Get the deeds out. Solicitor? Bollard?

The thing is we have a right of access by prescription (the land is so old officially no one knows who owns it other than it is not council owned - probably some landed gentry long forgotten) and this is recorded in a deed of servitude and acknowledgement the argument is he is inhibiting our right to do so. He seems to think since they lived here longer they know more but he is literally the only one parking wherever the hell he wants.

OP posts:
Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:26

He sounds like someone who likes to wind people up and if you react he enjoys it. You need a grey rock approach to communication with him.

You can also get anti theft tired puncture triangles you could leave out... theyre available on ebay

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:31

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:26

He sounds like someone who likes to wind people up and if you react he enjoys it. You need a grey rock approach to communication with him.

You can also get anti theft tired puncture triangles you could leave out... theyre available on ebay

I believe this too just due to his showboating coming out and getting literally nothing from his car whilst he saw I was there. Any normal person would go “oh so sorry I’m parked over you garage do you want me to move it or am I ok for just now? Sorry someone is parked in front of our bit and I’ll move as soon as they go!” Like I am terrified of pissing neighbours off for this entire reason! He’s also left a fireplace in his front garden like just dumped not that we really care but for some reason he decided to take it from his back garden (it’s new) to the front by walking round the entire block rather than just take it through his house - it’s also wooden and it’s been raining so not entirely sure what he’s planning on doing… he’s very very odd!

OP posts:
SlimeSuspect · 20/08/2025 22:33

Am based on the very furthest south coast of England but am so incensed on your behalf that I’d like to get in the car right now, drive up and punch this arsehole right in the dick!

beachwalkx · 20/08/2025 22:33

outerspacepotato · 20/08/2025 20:30

Move your fucking car mother fucker shrieked at full volume. Bonus points if you have a Brooklyn accent.

I'd block his ass in.

that was me screaming at my neighbour over parking Blush
my dad walked off and left me “looked like you were doing just fine by yourself” Blush

it didn’t work, they still block me in every week Angry

Sunflowermoonbeam · 20/08/2025 22:34

Can you and your neighbour conspire to block him in really really tightly, like an inch, so he can't get out and has to come and ask you to move and you say no. When he gets really angry you give him a dose of the same condescending gaslighting and walk back in the house without moving. You'd only have to do that a couple of times. He clearly has no friends so can't do it back to you

SlimeSuspect · 20/08/2025 22:38

outerspacepotato · 20/08/2025 20:30

Move your fucking car mother fucker shrieked at full volume. Bonus points if you have a Brooklyn accent.

I'd block his ass in.

Brooklyn accent:

Moov yo fwocking caaah mwotha-fwocka!

You’re welcome 😂

Hotflushesandchilblains · 20/08/2025 22:39

Paint your garage door (sloppily) bright pink, or green or something. Accidentally splash his car. Oh, sorry, if you had not been in our space it would not have happened.

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:45

Littleluv · 20/08/2025 22:31

I believe this too just due to his showboating coming out and getting literally nothing from his car whilst he saw I was there. Any normal person would go “oh so sorry I’m parked over you garage do you want me to move it or am I ok for just now? Sorry someone is parked in front of our bit and I’ll move as soon as they go!” Like I am terrified of pissing neighbours off for this entire reason! He’s also left a fireplace in his front garden like just dumped not that we really care but for some reason he decided to take it from his back garden (it’s new) to the front by walking round the entire block rather than just take it through his house - it’s also wooden and it’s been raining so not entirely sure what he’s planning on doing… he’s very very odd!

Honestly sometimes these people's punishment is they are who they are.

But Honestly.. fence.. drive bollard... towing... or even jusy some of those tyre triangles.

And whatever he says, just grey rock it. He isnt saying it because its true, or even because he thinks it. He will know hes a prick, but he likes that its got some attention. So however hard it is dont give him yours. Just deal with the situation and ignore the comments. Not because he doesnt deserve it but because it will drive him wild you arent bothered enough to correct his sexism or bully boy showboating thats his partners problem

reversegear · 21/08/2025 02:11

We had a neighbour like this had one big argument about her blocking our access and then left it as we were planning on moving and didn’t want a dispute.

But every time my DH and friends had a few beers they used to pee on her car door handles.. some how just the knowledge that she would occasionally have dry beer pee on her hands was enough for my “emotional” rage.