Suicidal over phobia

[Caterlight]

I have emetophobia. Those who don’t know it’s a phobia or vomit. Whether it be myself or someone else. How can I be so petrified of something that is so natural. It can happen at anytime and it frightens me. I would rather die than be sick or see anyone be sick in front of me. Give me a heights or spider phobia any day. And before anyone asks I have had therapy and am on sertraline to help. Nothing helps I’m screwed

Is there anything traumatic in your past that you haven’t faced or opened up about?

Are you really having suicidal thoughts over this?

Can you keep yourself safe? If not please call 999 and get yourself some immediate support.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and hope you are ok.

@YelloDaisy I don’t know. I remember a family remember vomiting all over my brand new bike on Boxing Day as a child. Think I was 4/5

@BlueMum16 I think it’s because my children are back at school soon and that’s set me off. Husband is out drinking Saturday night on a stag do and I’m already shaking

I would imagine that's where this phobia has come from.

I remember as a child I was the only child to miss a school trip to France because I was so scared that someone would be seasick in front of me. Would I could say something helpful to you.

Why would you rather die than be sick in front of someone or someone being sick in front of you. What do you think would happen to you in those scenarios?

@GucciBear yep I missed out on so many school trips because of this

I genuinely don’t know. That’s just how I feel. I can’t help it

May I ask, how have you managed your phobia around pregnancy and having children? I'm sure that you've had to deal with a lot of vomit one way and another - how has that played out and is there anything you can draw on from those experiences that you can use to rationalise when you feel the panic rising?

My brilliant friend who has had lots of therapy says it's important not to dismiss your feelings, but to qualify them. She says "your feeling are real, and important, but they are not facts." It's normal for human beings to be repulsed by vomit - it is a sign of illness, which can mean danger, it's evolutionary. But your instincts and/or your trauma is activating your nervous system inappropriately. You need to find a way to regulate it back down to an appropriate level.

Phobia or not you WILL have vomited in your life at some point, and dealt with the vomit of others, and come to no harm. How did you manage to cope, and is there any way you can use similar approaches to cope with the fear and horror of vomit (which I imagine is actually far worse and debilitating than the actual experience of it is)?

But what is it that you're actually scared of? If you can answer that then you can try and unpick the phobia. I do think it's linked to what happened when you were 4/5. I know you can't help it and I am not being flippant, but understanding it is the key to overcoming it.

It's a phobia, OP isn't choosing this and shes tried to get help. Bit of empathy maybe?

Shut up🤷🏻‍♀️

How have you dealt with being sick in the past? Or dealing with your sick children? Genuinely curious.

I’ve actually been ok when it’s been myself. But that hasn’t helped fustratlingly. I’ve always thought “that’s wasn’t too bad” but going forward that doesn’t stick. Luckily so far neither of my children have been sick where DH hasn’t been present so he can deal with it

I suppose you need more therapy until you find a therapy that works for you. You can’t carry on like this thinking you would rather die than see someone throw up.

Poor you. I know this phobia is actually fairly common. I have heard some people saying they got over it by watching videos of people being sick. I know that probably sounds horrible to you. But it might help over time?

Does it stop you eating properly? If so you should speak to your GP and maybe get some vitamins and supplements.

OP I have emetophobia but it is much milder than it used to be. This is mainly because I had terrible morning sickness with my second DC and vomiting without warning, though distressing at the time, sort of helped with the phobia.

I still get a bit panicky if I feel sick or if my DC are ill but I has got better over the years.

Please get more help as this is awful to read. I think this elevated from a phobia to something far more serious.

Hi OP, no matter if people don't understand it, it is real to you. Can you call some CBT therapists and have a chat with them about whether they think it would be of benefit. Or else GP again.

You have my sympathy, distress and anxiety is such a horrible uncomfortable feeling that you cannot escape from in the moment. Please seek more help, you can overcome this I promise.

You can always turn it around and look at it from a different angle: when you vomit it’s actually beneficial to your body because it is getting rid of something it doesn’t need, or is harmful to it. Your body is smart and knows what it’s doing, and after vomiting you’ll feel a relief.

Can you please just clarify...you are not having suicidal thoughts right now and are not thinking about completing suicide?

This is what your post implied.

What is probably more accurate is that you are getting wound up about some upcoming activities and want to chat/get support/perspective.

DH - is he usually drunk/sick? Can he stay with a friend?

Kids - it happens but if school age what coping strategies have you used previously?

See your GP or try and get some EMDR/CBT therapy. You need help if this is impacting your life in this way.

Sorry you're dealing with this OP and that previous therapy didn't work. My daughter had crippling emetophobia (part of her OCD) when she was younger so I know how terrible it can be - she went through Exposure Therapy to treat this, which was tough but successful for her and it's made a huge huge difference to her life.

Was that the kind of therapy you had previously? It took her a couple of goes to find a therapist she liked.

Maybe a good thing to do might be forcing yourself to deal with it the next time your child is ill. As mothers we can do things for our kids we could never ever manage for ourselves alone. Try and tap into that and work past the phobia that way?