Suicidal over phobia

[Caterlight]

I have emetophobia. Those who don’t know it’s a phobia or vomit. Whether it be myself or someone else. How can I be so petrified of something that is so natural. It can happen at anytime and it frightens me. I would rather die than be sick or see anyone be sick in front of me. Give me a heights or spider phobia any day. And before anyone asks I have had therapy and am on sertraline to help. Nothing helps I’m screwed

I was going to say this - I used to have this phobia so badly that it affected how I ate. I ended up just getting over it after having a child somehow and dealing with him being sick. I’ve been sick a couple of times myself since and although I obviously don’t like it (who does?!) it doesn’t bother me anywhere near as much as it did.

Do you feel anxious in general OP? Mine was at its worst when I had a nervous breakdown

@Caterlight well I can TOTALLY understand how desperate you feel. I know you say nothing helps but is the medication helping in some way? I know you’ve had therapy of some kind but there are a number of factors that can influence the success of therapy (the wrong type of therapy, specific experience and skills of a therapist, what else is going on in life, inadequate amount of sessions, poor therapeutic relationship etc).

So if therapy didn’t work it isn’t an indication that it can’t help and that you are unhelpable.

Have you come across Professor David Veale who is an authority on the treatment of Emetophobia and has done a lot of work on the variations; fear of being sick, fear of others being sick (or both), high or low levels of “disgust”, contributing beliefs, trauma, co-morbid psychological problems etc. It’s an incredibly common phobia; that’s not to minimise it but what that means is that there have been some very successful evidence-based treatments developed and many people have been helped (by properly qualified people). I feel for you and I hope you can get help, it is out there. Where are you based roughly (if you’re in the UK)?

https://emetaction.org/about-us#:~:text=David%20Veale,-Trustee&text=David%20is%20a%20Consultant%20Psychiatrist,Action%20and%20the%20BDD%20Foundation.

May I ask what therapies you have already tried? Someone may be able to offer an alternative, there are so many out there, one you might not have considered might just be the right fit for you.

May I also ask why you think having a heights or spider phobia would be better? Surely those things are even more common than witnessing someone being sick?

I have severe trypanophobia (fear of needles). So much so that I fainted when my sister had her ears pierced. In another room... I had to be physically restrained to have childhood immunisations so never got the BCG test and jab as I got too big to hold down. I had fillings without injections I was that scared! I was never going to have children as I knew I would need blood tests etc. The only thing that helped me was pretty much immersion therapy. I ended up getting a job abroad, it required many vaccinations (including the BCG) and blood tests. I then met and married my husband and we decided to try for a baby, then I got hypothyroidism and needed many, many tests before they got my levels sorted. I had to take my baby for her vaccinations and hold her whilst they were done. It was so many needles in such a short space of time. I am still utterly terrified and still occasionally pass out when I have a blood test but I have no choice, I have to have my levels checked otherwise I could die and leave my darling daughter without her mum! I flat out one day decided, when I got that job, that I was not going to let my fear rule or ruin my life. It's been very hard and I've sobbed and fainted my way through many a blood test but I am (mostly) in control now.

Please, find something that works, you have a responsibility to your children to find a way to overcome your fear. Saying you would rather commit suicide is not an option, you know that. All the very best.

I don't think that you are afraid of the thing in itself, I think that you have a legitimate fear of things being out of control, it being the first step in a series of events that causes people around you to be ill or a generalised feeling of something bad is going to happen.

Your body and mind, (same thing) has narrowed it down to emetophobia. I don't have an easy answer for you, OP, but you post so often and I do think about you a lot.

Think about what you wrote in the entry linked above:

Your children will be back at school.
Your husband is out drinking on a stag do.

The thing might just be a focus.

Anyway, stay here. I like you. Sorry if this is clumsily worded. Hang on, our kid.

Speak with your dr. Seek a referral to a psychiatrist and or psychologist. Dies your therapist provide CBT/EMDR/DBT? Try ab different modality. Ask about different medication or a higher dose of the one you are on.

it’s worth investigating whether changes like these may help more