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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does this email sound too blunt?

103 replies

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 14:16

Just want to check.

Hi X,

I’ve noticed issue Y. I didn’t do anything to cause it, and I’m not sure I can resolve it right now…

Thanks,

Best wishes

OP posts:
Daughterofthesea · 20/08/2025 18:20

It sounds unprofessional. Perhaps use an ai tool to help you rephrase emails in this type of context as I can imagine your boss will not be impressed.

party4you · 20/08/2025 18:44

Dweetfidilove · 20/08/2025 16:13

Someone edited it, so I guess for some people it's blunt. I think it was fine as is.

I just find it weird she needs so much advice for it. If she’s worried why not ask a colleague or even use co pilot

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:50

SunnyD4ys · 20/08/2025 16:30

I agree, I can't imagine a work situation when I'd type that, it sounds like a child rushing to say it wasnt me, I didn't do it, it was June in HR

But it’s quite obvious from the photo and the nature of the issue that it isn’t something I could’ve caused. I don’t know why I stated that I didn’t to be honest.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:50

Daughterofthesea · 20/08/2025 18:20

It sounds unprofessional. Perhaps use an ai tool to help you rephrase emails in this type of context as I can imagine your boss will not be impressed.

How would you have worded it?

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:51

party4you · 20/08/2025 18:44

I just find it weird she needs so much advice for it. If she’s worried why not ask a colleague or even use co pilot

I sent it when I was tired and worried and WFH on Monday night

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:52

SunnyD4ys · 20/08/2025 18:11

That's not the point, the fact that you've put that in the email isn't professional imo

Why wouldn't you just say FYI this has happened and attach the photo?

Not sure why I was tired and worried when I wrote the email. Is it really that rude what I wrote?

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:54

ginasevern · 20/08/2025 16:26

Way too blunt and definitely screams "it wasn't my fault". If I was the boss I wouldn't be best impressed with your email.

The thing is, it’s obviously not my fault. Or at least very unlikely. It’s clear from the photo that I hadn’t done anything to cause the issue.

I’m not sure why I stated it to be honest.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:56

DiscoBob · 20/08/2025 16:03

Don't worry! Is your boss really highly strung about the wording of extremely basic emails?

You really shouldn't fill your head with such concern over something so small. Unless the boss really is a megalomaniac psycho! Even then you've sent it now. And no, I wouldn't consider it rude at all.

Thanks. Some posters are talking about how unprofessional it sounds etc….

OP posts:
DiscoBob · 20/08/2025 22:23

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:56

Thanks. Some posters are talking about how unprofessional it sounds etc….

It's not to a client or for public consumption?! It's just giving brief information. What else are you meant to say? 'I'm so sorry to bother you, hope you're well? How's your dog?' or use loads of pointless business jargon for no reason?

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:28

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 14:19

Sorry, it’s a minor problem I noticed at work which I wanted the boss to know about as he’ll have to sort it out in the next few weeks

If you didnt cause it and arent responsible for it why arent you just minding your own business. Sounds like youre just "grassing" and without context its unclear why

JMSA · 20/08/2025 22:46

Yes, it’s a bit blunt. I’d probably soften it with something along the lines of ‘I just thought you might like to know …’ I haven’t read the full thread though, so apologies if there’s been an update and this doesn’t seem appropriate.

JMSA · 20/08/2025 22:48

It’s also unhelpful and sounds a bit snitch-y.
Sorry!

SereneCoralDog · 20/08/2025 22:57

For the future op, Chat GPT is fantastic at this.

Type a brief explanation of the situation and your full email/letter/essay/whatever. Then tell Chat GPT to make it friendier/more professional/more succint/slightly humerous or whatever you need. You can be really really specific and give several instructions to keep refining it.

The edits to original content are really really good and they're not 'AI like' in the way that fully AI generated content is.

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:25

DiscoBob · 20/08/2025 22:23

It's not to a client or for public consumption?! It's just giving brief information. What else are you meant to say? 'I'm so sorry to bother you, hope you're well? How's your dog?' or use loads of pointless business jargon for no reason?

Edited

Well exactly! I wasn't intending to be rude or offhand to my boss, I just wanted to cut any waffle and tell him what he needed to know.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:26

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:28

If you didnt cause it and arent responsible for it why arent you just minding your own business. Sounds like youre just "grassing" and without context its unclear why

Nobody caused it, it isn't grassing anyone! It's just something that happened.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:26

JMSA · 20/08/2025 22:48

It’s also unhelpful and sounds a bit snitch-y.
Sorry!

It isn't snitching on anyone - it's nothing that anyone did.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:27

Laura95167 · 20/08/2025 22:28

If you didnt cause it and arent responsible for it why arent you just minding your own business. Sounds like youre just "grassing" and without context its unclear why

No, it isn't grassing anyone - it isn't anything that anyone else has caused either. It's just something that happened.

OP posts:
JoyDivision79 · 20/08/2025 23:41

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 16:09

Never diagnosed, not sure. I soemfimes
wonder if I’m on the ASD spectrum as I sometimes overthink and second guess social interactions, including written ones.

I read your posts and feel you're getting a hard time and I then too thought are you ND. Because you're so concerned about how you've communicated and how someone receives you. It says you have a history where people have treated you a certain way. It has set up a loop where you're so worried about this response potentially.

You've sent it. Try not worry because your boss probably has so much to deal with, lots of emails and your tone isn't going to be at the front of his brain more than 5 minutes.

Next time you see him, smile, say hi. Then do and say nothing. Leave it. You haven't killed anyone. It's a little blunt. Id laugh if I got that. Id think ' oh do I tend to blame or '. Maybe boss needs self reflection time tbh.

Sometimes people like things fluffed up. My Autistic son says this is such fake bollocks. I agree yet explain people feel good with a bit of fluffery e.g. ' hope that helps ', ' if I can hehp' etc. ( with the boss at least). If it's not about you, don't bring you into it if you can avoid ( emg it wasn't me).

It sounds like you didn't really need to tell the boss this information in the first place. Id stick to what's yours, don't take on others crap at work.

Id look at finding ways to escape voices in your mind ( we all have them) that make you repeat scenarios, worry about them, worry what people think. Yes we all do it but there's a history here and it sounds really stressful for you.

Your boss sounds like a dick blaming people unnecessarily at times. So don't offer up anything to win them over. Do your job only, smile if you're worried you seem too blunt after that then business as usual.

JoyDivision79 · 20/08/2025 23:55

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 19:52

Not sure why I was tired and worried when I wrote the email. Is it really that rude what I wrote?

No it isn't OP.

Id personally laugh about ' it wasn't me'. It says that you get blamed for shit that isn't on you. I would laugh in a way that says ' oh why does she feel like that'. Not to laugh at you.

It's not bad. Think of all the inappropriate things people do every day. This is nothing at all to worry over. I like the idea of chat gp. I only recently realized someone I know and struggle communicating with is definitely using it. It makes the comms more fluffy and less antagonistic. So definitely look into it.

This is not to patronise you but I read your post and your user name and all I think is meditation breathing for 5 minutes is worth a try. You must have high stress levels and it's horrible living like that. If I breathe enough like this with purpose I forget all this pointless mentally draining shit.

lotsofpatience · 21/08/2025 00:53

Sounds like sender it's a shit stirrer. If someone sent you that, then avoid the bad apple at all costs. If you are planning to send it, well, don't. It could destroy your career.

Laura95167 · 21/08/2025 07:02

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:27

No, it isn't grassing anyone - it isn't anything that anyone else has caused either. It's just something that happened.

If it is an issue, that no-one caused. Im not sure why youd need mention "I didnt cause it" because that reads like "Sandra" did cause it.

Without context of the issue its difficult to articulate. But if this is a common type of issue, surely its clear whether someone could have caused it or it just happened I.e. someones stealing from this fridge but it wasnt me v all the light bulbs in the ladies are out. And if it was something no-one caused and thats clear to your boss why mention you didnt do it?

Opposed to.. Hi boss, I noticed X issue, others have noticed it too. We will likely need you to resolve please..

It currently reads like the way I would have grassed on my brother as children. Mum... theres no crisps in the house. i didnt eat them. - which she correctly interpreted as my brother did and I want her to get me some more.

SunnyD4ys · 21/08/2025 07:19

littlemissworry97 · 20/08/2025 23:27

No, it isn't grassing anyone - it isn't anything that anyone else has caused either. It's just something that happened.

If that's the case why would you need to say the it's not my fault bit? I think that's why you're being told it's coming across a bit like a child or getting your excuses in early.

The boss isn't ever going to think it was anyone's fault so might well wonder why you've said that

HelloHattie · 21/08/2025 08:34

Sounds really rude to me

littlemissworry97 · 21/08/2025 13:05

@JoyDivision79 Love your username by the way! And I agree with what you've said in both posts. My boss does know me a little bit as a person, he knows that I can be a worrier, so he hopefully thinks that I was just worried about this minor issue.

I know he wouldn't be fuming angry in any case, at most slightly miffed.

OP posts:
littlemissworry97 · 21/08/2025 13:06

Laura95167 · 21/08/2025 07:02

If it is an issue, that no-one caused. Im not sure why youd need mention "I didnt cause it" because that reads like "Sandra" did cause it.

Without context of the issue its difficult to articulate. But if this is a common type of issue, surely its clear whether someone could have caused it or it just happened I.e. someones stealing from this fridge but it wasnt me v all the light bulbs in the ladies are out. And if it was something no-one caused and thats clear to your boss why mention you didnt do it?

Opposed to.. Hi boss, I noticed X issue, others have noticed it too. We will likely need you to resolve please..

It currently reads like the way I would have grassed on my brother as children. Mum... theres no crisps in the house. i didnt eat them. - which she correctly interpreted as my brother did and I want her to get me some more.

But it's an issue in MY office, no one else's. It isn't something that anyone else could have caused, so I'm not indirectly grassing in any way.

OP posts: