Was he in the wrong

[sandwichofsurprises]

I was dropping my children off this morning to a friends house and as I turned into a road there was a car blocking the road, engine on just chatting to someone in their driveway.
The other side of the road was blocked with parked cars so I patiently waited behind him while he continued his conversation until eventually after about 10 minutes I gave a toot.
The man looked at me angrily screeched into a space and got out by the driver door called me a fuckimg slut, bitch and a few other things I didn’t hear while making hand gestures and then held his hand on the horn until I’d driven round the corner.
After I dropped the children off I drove back down the road and noted the car was still where it pulled in and the man was standing in the driveway still chatting and entering the house.
My husband is due home in a minute and wants a word with this man but before he does I just wondered if he was in the wrong blocking the road as ds seems to think he’s aloud to for 15 minutes before it is a problem but this man’s attitude implied he’d take however long he wanted.
All I can see online is about delivery drivers/workers right to block the road, not just chatting to people in the street.

I don’t want to send hubby round if he’s not really done anything wrong although I think he’d like a word anyway about the language in front of the children.

I can't get past someone waiting 10 minutes before you beeped. 10 whole minutes???
I live in Spain, you're lucky if someone waits 10 seconds before blasting the horn .

I think you're getting a hard time here about you DH going around. This absolute twat took total advantage of you being a woman with kids to rant and rave at you. He would never, ever have behaved like that towards a man and I completely get your thinking about confronting him.

However, you must be prepared for the possibility it doesn't go as you think it will.
I hope it does though.
I hope you get a craven apology from this knob.

There is no way you waited ten full minutes 😆

Another hard man, taking on a woman. He certainly was in the wrong- arrogant pig.

I did, because I knew he’d seen me pull up behind him and thought there’s no point beeping when he knows I’m waiting, I slowly worked out that he knew, but didn’t care.

I think it’s disingenuous to imply that your husband is going to have a calm, polite conversation with the man in an effort to improve his manners. He will be going there with the intention of making him feel as intimidated as you did. Unfortunately, when putting a thug in that position there’s always a chance they will stick a knife in you.

The moment has passed. It was unpleasant but you were safe. Let it go.

If you issue someone with a perfectly doable and reasonable request in a public place and they respond by launching a tirade of intimidating language, it can be quite scary, to the point of you asking yourself if you caused it yourself. This is the nature of intimidation. You end up forgetting who is actually in the wrong.

I completely get needing to air that question on here. It's verbal abuse designed to subjugate, and the first stage of that is doubting your own innocence. Especially in something as black and white as this.

Oh yes, and nothing screams “fuck the patriarchy” like sending your husband to speak for you eh 🤣

Why on earth would you think he hadn’t done anything wrong?!

The man is abusive and unhinged. Unless your husband is self-possessed but physically enormous, I’m not sure he’ll get anywhere, so maybe just log it with the police.

It might do. Sometimes thats the only language that exist morons like him will understand.

Sexist not Exist flippin autocorrect

100 percent this.

He was totally in the wrong but he sounds unhinged and I wouldn’t want to send my DH over there at the risk of being attacked. People are crazy and this situation could really escalate. He’s a dick.

I’d send him round, why not? Mumsnet is so weird about this kind of thing.

I can’t believe you waited 10 minutes? I’d have given him 30 seconds if I was feeling generous.

Let your husband speak to him, I’d feel the same way. My husband is 6’ 3” and built like a brick shit house. He spoke to you like that to intimidate you, let him have a taste of his own medicine, the wanker.

I’ve got no problem with your hubby going round. I’d advise sticking your phone notes on record the conversation though.

Overweight and 60 vs your husband a fit younger person means nothing.

I know of an overweight 70 year old bloke who would be able to more than handle himself and would take great pleasure in it, Monty our local headbanger that many people keep away from and those that haven’t, don’t go back for round 2, no matter how hard they think they are.

A man who behaved as this man did is not going "to think twice" before doing so again, based on your DH having "a word" and you are being rather naieve to believe that he will. I suspect your DH is planning on being a little more forceful thsn he is telling you.

I cannot believe you would consider continuing this confrontation.

It was done and dusted this morning. Move on.

What happens when the old man's son isn't happy with your DH and comes and knocks on your door? Or reports your DH for bullying an old man?

I really don't understand what you want to achieve. He's either realised he was a dick already or he will be a dick forever.

The time to do it was when it happened. As others have said this guy isn’t normal. That’s not a normal reaction.

So DH goes round and says something, then it starts a campaign of retaliation. It’s a huge risk I wouldn’t be willing to take just so you can feel better that this man has been told.

People like him don’t follow normal societal rules.

To be fair he is an aggressive pig and he will never accept what he did was wrong. My dh is a driving instructor and some of the crap he and his learners get from people like this poor excuse for a man is just vile. I totally get the need to have a word with him but he sounds unstable at the very least.

Another vile, entitled man, however I would be concerned at your husband going round to talk to him simply because he is a thug and could become violent. There was a terrible incident where one driver thought another had cut him up, so he got out of his car and stabbed to death the innocent driver.

Your sneering at OP is quite disgusting.

The man is a bully and quite possibly a threat to her physically. Yes in a fair world she could go and address him herself but it would be irresponsible in terms of her physical safety.

Why shouldn't her DH go around and state the obvious; his own children were in that car and witnessed this aggressive tirade.

I’m guessing you didn’t actually wait 10 minutes. But in any case, the guy is a dick. Proably just discussing where to paint a red cross somewhere. Sounds like a racist reform voter.

You were not in the wrong and I wiildnt have waited 10 minutes. I wiuld be beeping him to shift his arse within a couple of minutes. I also have 4 sons who are over 6 foot who would make sure he didnt do it again