Was he in the wrong

[sandwichofsurprises]

I was dropping my children off this morning to a friends house and as I turned into a road there was a car blocking the road, engine on just chatting to someone in their driveway.
The other side of the road was blocked with parked cars so I patiently waited behind him while he continued his conversation until eventually after about 10 minutes I gave a toot.
The man looked at me angrily screeched into a space and got out by the driver door called me a fuckimg slut, bitch and a few other things I didn’t hear while making hand gestures and then held his hand on the horn until I’d driven round the corner.
After I dropped the children off I drove back down the road and noted the car was still where it pulled in and the man was standing in the driveway still chatting and entering the house.
My husband is due home in a minute and wants a word with this man but before he does I just wondered if he was in the wrong blocking the road as ds seems to think he’s aloud to for 15 minutes before it is a problem but this man’s attitude implied he’d take however long he wanted.
All I can see online is about delivery drivers/workers right to block the road, not just chatting to people in the street.

I don’t want to send hubby round if he’s not really done anything wrong although I think he’d like a word anyway about the language in front of the children.

I’m surprised you waited 10 mins!!!

Obviously you’re not unreasonable

I’m another vote for don’t send DH. I’d be telling my DH to stand down and leave it, some people are just nasty and vicious and don’t care about others. He isn’t going to suddenly change because your DH has a quiet word with him - is he?

This man seems unhinged. Is it worth a fight? No

I agree. I’m not surprised your husband wants a word with him. Who does this man think he is, intimidating you with a baby in the car?

I can't believe you waited 10 minutes, he would have got thirty seconds tops from me. What a twat.

Well I think it’s a shame you see it that way.
This man is 60 something and has probably spent his whole life intimidating women because he can and doesn’t see a problem with that.
Yes of course we could just leave it like he assumes and accept that’s how men are to women and there’s nothing we can do about it or we can be pleased when men choose to stand up for us and show other men it’s not okay.

Do you honestly think anyone who speaks to people like that is going to care?

Why did you wait 10 whole minutes?? I'd have waited 60 seconds tops!!

He was a complete bellend

And sending a man round to play dad only reinforces that women are helpless and need a man to fight their battles- also not a great way to live your life!

But this is such an idealised view of what is actually going to happen. If he's spent his whole life speaking to women that way then he's hardly going to change because of a few choice words from a disgruntled sorry, diplomatic husband. And, as PPs have said, it could escalate into violence and/or police involvement - that is, Angry Man could end up accusing your DH of harassment.

so did your husband go speak to him? I’m keen to hear how it went?

After having read the other comments, I just want to say that my understanding of this situation is that you were in your car with your kids, going about your daily business, and this man has blocked you, you've eventually tooted and he's basically gone mental, sworn and shouted at you, probably scared your kids and left you in a state of shock. You've come home still upset, have seen where he lives, told your husband what happened and he wants to stick up for you, tell this man his behaviour was out of order and hopefully next time he'll control himself a bit better. I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to say that that's 'yuk' that your acting like a 12 year old or any other offensive or disdainful comment. Why wouldn't you want to try to prevent him from acting like this to someone else? Why wouldn't your husband want to try to help? Why should this nasty pig not be told his behaviour was disgraceful and shamed?
You should both go round, you do the talking and if there's any question as to why husband is there, it's because you weren't sure if things would escalate like they did that morning as he clearly has anger issues.

He’s not playing Dad, he is Dad and his daughters were in that car.
My husband is not a violent man and has no intention of doing anything other than a quiet chat about his behaviour but at 30 and physically fit he is more than capable of handling himself if an overweight 60 something year old was to turn aggressive on him.

Thank you, thats exactly how I feel

"This much stronger, fitter, younger man just came to my door and attacked me, a meek pensioner, officer"

This is a silly idea.

He’s not going to attack anybody as I’ve made clear

What a man like that needs is a good battering.

However, I'd report him to the police and tell them you were intimidated and fearing for your and your children's safety. Let them have a word with him.

Right, but what if Angry Man gets aggressive, your DH "handles himself" as you say, and then Angry Man claims he did?

There are multiple ways this can go wrong.

No way would I have managed to wait that long. I would have beeped after 1 minute. Especially if I knew he was aware I was waiting for him. Entitled twat.

If your husband goes round to this man’s house and things kick off the police will say your husband is in the wrong and was inciting violence which he is

10 mins hmmmm.

You were only being unreasonable to wait ten minutes. I had a similar situation, guy blocking our cul-de-sac with a small flatbed truck, it's one way round, could have pulled into the side (there was ample space) but chose to block the highway and sit in the road. At first I thought he was picking a mate up and could only be 30 seconds. When no-one appeared for two minutes, I gently bipped the horn to let him know I was there. He pulled over, but I got a barage of abuse through his open window. I was going to an appointment and didn't have all day!

But all this man is going to think is really how pathetic you are that you ran to your husband to fight your battle- that’s the point.

He’s not going to go “oh I shouldn’t do that”, he doesn’t care about a chat about his behaviour, he’s just going to be laughing about how even as a grown woman you’ve gone running to you husband as if you’re a child

How about you both see him together.
You say your piece.
He will not react in the same way.
And you'll all be aware of why.
The shame and the lesson will be his.

And achieve what? Willy waving won't change the man's attitude.

Surely you must already know that he was in the wrong for blocking the road for ages and then swearing at you. Why on earth would you need validation from Mumsnet for that?

You know what society needs and is demanding? That MEN speak out to other MEN about the terrible misogynistic behaviours MEN perpetrate towards women.

Because it is a man problem. And until good men speak out about and to the shit men, men will continue thinking it’s ok because they ain’t going to listen to women. Because as we have already identified, they hate women.

THAT is exactly what the OPs dh should be doing and that is what everyone is shouting for.

except you