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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel helpless and hopeless with the state of the country?

72 replies

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 18/08/2025 21:44

A friend from Sweden is thinking of taking a job in Bristol and moving to the UK. I was encouraging her, until I really thought about what living in this country entails:

Can't get an NHS Dentist
Can't get an NHS doctor appointment for weeks
Unqualified teachers with huge classes and very limited resources
Roads are full of potholes
Reported an attempted break-in. All I got was a telephone call from an officer who knew nothing about it. No follow up.
The environment is littered and dirty.
Shops are closing down.
High streets are just chain stores.
Food is expensive and ultra processed is normal.
Racist views expressed without reservation.
Overt sexism everywhere.
Media portrayal of ageing for women as a bad thing.
Unemployment rising.
Men telling women what it feels like to be a woman.
Rivers are dying and the seas are filthy.
Public transport is expensive and unreliable.

Maybe I should consider moving to Sweden!

OP posts:
YelloDaisy · 19/08/2025 10:36

I agree that the public do the littering but it could be made a bit harder for example by supermarkets giving a choice of products in plastic and also in biodegradable. Fruit in plastic boxes is not good imv could use cardboard and give shoppers a choice

Pandasquishy · 19/08/2025 10:40

It does weirdly feel more positive than when we were stuck under the Tories for decades, but yes, still a mess.

What worries me is that current lot are also not targeting big conglomorates to fill the deficit in the budget. If you take away everyone's savings it's just another way of passing the buck of poverty into the future. No one will be able to afford retirement homes and you'll need people to give up work to help with their ageing family members (happening already - see loss of productivity). Stop raiding savings and start charging profiteering!

BoredZelda · 19/08/2025 10:41

curiositykilledthiscat · 18/08/2025 22:40

I agree, this is the worst state of the UK in the almost 50 years I’ve been alive. And it’s only going to get worse once AI takes more jobs and climate change makes more impact.

Oh dear. Your memory must be going given your age. Winter of discontent, Miners strikes, teachers strikes, recession, huge unemployment, riots, the list goes on.

StandFirm · 19/08/2025 10:44

Many of the issues OP listed are not specific to the UK: shops closing, chains dominating the high street, aging infrastructure, sexism/xenophobia/intolerance, environmental issues etc. All of those are global systemic issues. Moving countries will not help avoid them.

Simonjt · 19/08/2025 10:47

YelloDaisy · 19/08/2025 10:36

I agree that the public do the littering but it could be made a bit harder for example by supermarkets giving a choice of products in plastic and also in biodegradable. Fruit in plastic boxes is not good imv could use cardboard and give shoppers a choice

That wouldn’t prevent littering, unless you think paper and card isn’t litter, it also punishes people who don’t litter as it would likely increase food costs.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 19/08/2025 10:53

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 05:33

God I wouldn’t move from Sweden to the UK.

Fuck me . I wouldn't move from the UK to Sweden. There we are: takes all sorts, innit? 🤷

lljkk · 19/08/2025 11:06

Imperfect does not = total disaster.

I know people who consume lots of media (broadcast & digital) where the purpose of the media is to make you unhappy. Literally. That's the business model. Diet of upsetting info drives engagement drives advertising revenue. We all choose to curate our own media diet to what we want to see... btw, MN is the most Negative place i still browse on! It's harder to curate the negativity off of my feed here.

Can't be bothered to pick thru or dispute OP's original points. I hope she updates from Paradise when she arrives there.

lljkk · 19/08/2025 11:09

ps: has anyone else read the L Shaped Room (written early 1960s)? That documents anti-black racism quite blandly, just a given. Similar when you read DogsBody for anti irish sentiment (written early 1970s).

loulouljh · 19/08/2025 11:11

People being free to speak their minds??!!! Be careful with that!

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 19/08/2025 11:13

I don't think a lot of these things are specific to the UK.

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 11:16

We’re re-running the 1970’s at high speed. It’s going to get a lot worse than this. Big financial crash and social upheaval on the way and all Labour’s tinkering round the edges can’t stop it. The country is bankrupt. Our debt is 100% of GDP. Of the 20bn we recently borrowed, 16bn went on interest. I’d advise any young person to get out as soon as they can.

DiordreBarlow · 19/08/2025 11:18

Rather than moan, spread gloom or move to Sweden OP perhaps you might consider trying to do things to improve your local area and the country in general.

Volunteer -
Take part in NHS studies,
Provide feedback to the local GP surgery,
Help school children and adults with their reading via schools and the library,
Become a hospital visitor,
Volunteer as a driver to help elderly and infirm people get to medical appointments,
Become an adult leader for local scout, sports, youth clubs,
Join a litter picking group,
Join a river support group or a Turn the Tide group to keep beaches and the ocean clean,
Get into your local Britain in Bloom group.

Or you could join in with the events and groups that are run to make life better, safer, happier for people -
Our local police are running workshops on home security and feeling safe when out and about, one especially for women,
Join a woman's group. WI, Townswomen's Guilds, Knit and natter, Blue Tits, sports clubs and a million other organisations are all thriving because women, notably a big proportion of 'women of a certain age' are fabulous, thriving and having an absolutely ball whilst not giving a hoot about what men/the media/any other bugger thinks of them.

Or you could make personal steps or campaign to improve things -
Write to your MP about potholes, sewage in our waterways, better provision of street bins, closing of libraries, more jobs in your local area,
Write to your paper/local facebook group about the above,
Shop local,
Grow your own food in your garden. Get an allotment. Volunteer at a community food garden or food bank.

If you look up from your fug of Daily Mail gloom this country is ruddy well thriving and bursting with millions of people doing their bit to make the UK the lovely place it is.

Enough of your doom and gloom. Roll up your sleeves and do something positive. It might even make you feel better.

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 12:16

‘If you look up from your fug of Daily Mail gloom this country is ruddy well thriving and bursting with millions of people doing their bit to make the UK the lovely place it is.’

Have to shoehorn the Daily Mail in there somewhere 🙄

If you think this is a lovely, thriving country you have your head in the sand. This ailing country’s financial problems are a ticking time bomb. And well-meaning suggestions are like slapping a band-aid on a massive wound, it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. We have huge, almost insurmountable problems that no politician wants to fix, and even the public don’t want to fix them - for example, any mention of welfare reform and there’s outrage. People cannot countenance change. So the ugly crash is inevitable. There are millions of people who don’t give a toss and are actively making it worse, and we’ll see this all play out in the not too distant future.

Strugglingtodomybest · 20/08/2025 07:13

lljkk · 19/08/2025 11:09

ps: has anyone else read the L Shaped Room (written early 1960s)? That documents anti-black racism quite blandly, just a given. Similar when you read DogsBody for anti irish sentiment (written early 1970s).

Ooo yes, I've read that! Maybe a few other people who think that "things were better back then" ought to too.

foreverbasil · 20/08/2025 08:18

Upinflames · 19/08/2025 06:57

If I was a political party looking to create a sense that the UK is failing and that people want "change" ahead of a general election, I'd certainly be employing bots/PR agencies to spam forums like Mumsnet. Just saying.

This! It’s not even subtle and it’s really tedious

Chompingatthebeat · 20/08/2025 08:45

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 12:16

‘If you look up from your fug of Daily Mail gloom this country is ruddy well thriving and bursting with millions of people doing their bit to make the UK the lovely place it is.’

Have to shoehorn the Daily Mail in there somewhere 🙄

If you think this is a lovely, thriving country you have your head in the sand. This ailing country’s financial problems are a ticking time bomb. And well-meaning suggestions are like slapping a band-aid on a massive wound, it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. We have huge, almost insurmountable problems that no politician wants to fix, and even the public don’t want to fix them - for example, any mention of welfare reform and there’s outrage. People cannot countenance change. So the ugly crash is inevitable. There are millions of people who don’t give a toss and are actively making it worse, and we’ll see this all play out in the not too distant future.

The not too distant future you say, are we talking weeks, months or years?

NeverOneBiscuit · 20/08/2025 09:01

Well Sweden has the 2nd highest gun crime rate in Europe, so Bristol probably looks pretty attractive. I lived there for 3 years, it’s a great city, so I should think she’ll be pretty happy.

Zonder · 20/08/2025 09:06

foreverbasil · 20/08/2025 08:18

This! It’s not even subtle and it’s really tedious

There's probably an element of truth in it though. Reform etc want us to believe what the OP posted, even though things are changing after the terrible time we had under the Tories, (who incidentally are the ones that raised borrowing through the roof). For a start several dental practices near me are now advertising that they have space for NHS patients.

VaseofViolets · 20/08/2025 09:23

Chompingatthebeat · 20/08/2025 08:45

The not too distant future you say, are we talking weeks, months or years?

Financial crash within a year or so, and everything else will sadly follow within a couple of years. It’s inevitable now. I used to think it was preventable, but now I see no political party has the courage to make the tough decisions it needs to make. Some people prefer to deny that massive change is on the way, maybe it comforts them to put their heads in the sand. But it will come as no surprise to those of us who can see it coming. It’s a shame, because there were so many wasted opportunities to avoid it.

Zonder · 20/08/2025 09:40

I see no political party has the courage to make the tough decisions it needs to make

What changes specifically @VaseofViolets ?

YelloDaisy · 21/08/2025 15:54

VaseofViolets · 20/08/2025 09:23

Financial crash within a year or so, and everything else will sadly follow within a couple of years. It’s inevitable now. I used to think it was preventable, but now I see no political party has the courage to make the tough decisions it needs to make. Some people prefer to deny that massive change is on the way, maybe it comforts them to put their heads in the sand. But it will come as no surprise to those of us who can see it coming. It’s a shame, because there were so many wasted opportunities to avoid it.

I agree -so refreshing not to be told eg the migrants will start working and paying tax soon / tax the rich / its cyclical / its all the Govs fault (it is but if they make changes they’ll be voted out) …we’re doomed!

Chompingatthebeat · 21/08/2025 16:01

VaseofViolets · 20/08/2025 09:23

Financial crash within a year or so, and everything else will sadly follow within a couple of years. It’s inevitable now. I used to think it was preventable, but now I see no political party has the courage to make the tough decisions it needs to make. Some people prefer to deny that massive change is on the way, maybe it comforts them to put their heads in the sand. But it will come as no surprise to those of us who can see it coming. It’s a shame, because there were so many wasted opportunities to avoid it.

Within a year? and if youre wrong, will you come back and tell us?

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