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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel helpless and hopeless with the state of the country?

72 replies

Gffbjjgfddbjkkm · 18/08/2025 21:44

A friend from Sweden is thinking of taking a job in Bristol and moving to the UK. I was encouraging her, until I really thought about what living in this country entails:

Can't get an NHS Dentist
Can't get an NHS doctor appointment for weeks
Unqualified teachers with huge classes and very limited resources
Roads are full of potholes
Reported an attempted break-in. All I got was a telephone call from an officer who knew nothing about it. No follow up.
The environment is littered and dirty.
Shops are closing down.
High streets are just chain stores.
Food is expensive and ultra processed is normal.
Racist views expressed without reservation.
Overt sexism everywhere.
Media portrayal of ageing for women as a bad thing.
Unemployment rising.
Men telling women what it feels like to be a woman.
Rivers are dying and the seas are filthy.
Public transport is expensive and unreliable.

Maybe I should consider moving to Sweden!

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 19/08/2025 00:41

curiositykilledthiscat · 18/08/2025 22:40

I agree, this is the worst state of the UK in the almost 50 years I’ve been alive. And it’s only going to get worse once AI takes more jobs and climate change makes more impact.

@curiositykilledthiscat I started work about the same time as the IBM PC arrived. We were all told that PCs would take our jobs, that the technology would leave us redundant. ""It was only going to get worse.

More than 40 years later, I'm still working flat out, as are most people. Some things changed. Some manual roles died out but we all adapted.

AI won't take all our jobs. It's just a tool. It'll help in some places, and create additional need in others.

sleepwouldbenice · 19/08/2025 00:53

gamerchick · 18/08/2025 22:50

Ah the UK bashing thread. Been a couple tonight. Like a weekly thing atm.

Agreed
suspect Reform bots, again

SnowFrogJelly · 19/08/2025 01:01

SugarBrown · 18/08/2025 22:05

lol, your examples are ridiculous, some people have no idea how fortunate they are to live in this country

Agree .. if you think this country’s bad watch the news and see how lucky we are

Crushed23 · 19/08/2025 04:09

Just turn off the news. Problem solved.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 05:33

God I wouldn’t move from Sweden to the UK.

Dontsparethehorses · 19/08/2025 05:40

MiloMinderbinder925 · 18/08/2025 22:43

I had no idea that teachers no longer need qualifications.

Technically in academy schools they don’t - in reality 99.9% of schools employ qualified teachers (and struggle even then!) the latest government legislation wants to revert back to all having to have QTS - qualified teacher status

bananafake · 19/08/2025 05:43

Menopausalsourpuss · 18/08/2025 22:59

Whether that no dogs, blacks, Irish sign ever existed (only evidence is one sign found in the 80s probably from decades before) is disputed and maybe a myth, you certainly didn't see a sign like that in the 80s https://www.irishpost.com/life-style/infamous-no-irish-no-blacks-no-dogs-signs-may-never-have-existed-racist-xenophobic-148416 and the rest of your post is similarly wrong about a fantastic decade. I agree that things appear to be worse if you read social media etc although it could be that we're better informed than before. There is no denying the division, precarious financial situation and poor running of the country now though which anyone who is older can see is the worse its ever been.

It ABSOLUTELY did. I lived in East London in the 80s and the signs were everywhere. It depends where you lived.

There was also rubbish awash in the streets. Far more than you have now. On the upside you could go into a police station to report a crime as the Tories hadn't shut them down and police would actually investigate.

cheesycheesy · 19/08/2025 05:45

Enjoy Sweden

Beachwaves45 · 19/08/2025 05:53

Zov · 18/08/2025 22:52

HOORAY! Another UK bashing thread! 👏 Hasn't been one for a good few hours! Enjoy your life in Sweden @Gffbjjgfddbjkkm I can't even be arsed to answer you to be honest. I am SO sick of these UK bashing threads now! Tedious! 🙄

I can't even be arsed to answer you

And yet here you are posting on a thread you've no interest in.

Nappyvalley15 · 19/08/2025 06:00

No-one is pretending we are living in paradise but these Britain bashing threads are so inauthentic and unoriginal. Almost as if they are written to order...

YelloDaisy · 19/08/2025 06:27

The less rubbish in the past is probably due to takeaways - and more people as the population increases.

I feel the takeaways should be charged extra for the amount of their litter which is collected. There is a McDs on the way out of our town - the litter pickers clean the verges monthly - it would be nice to charge McDs for the amount of their litter which is collected up by volunteers. Seems wrong they can sell this stuff then have no responsibility for clearing up - if the shop wasn't there the litter wouldn'b be either.

Jumpthewaves · 19/08/2025 06:35

I really don't think it's as bad as you are making out it's easy to get into a negative mindset. I've lived in quite a few different countries, all have good bits and bad bits, that's because people are flawed.

KPPlumbing · 19/08/2025 06:48

Your examples don't particularly apply to me.

I live in a smart little market town, not in the SE. The town is incredibly vibrant and full of independent shops, cafes, restaurants, bars. We have every amenity you can think of - 3 supermarkets, several doctors surgeries, diy stores, a leisure centre, train station and so on.

If I want a doctors appointment, I get through to the surgery within 3 rings and get an appointment the same day if I'm happy for it to be over the phone. I don't have kids so don't care about class sizes.

Like all developed countries the world over, the jobs market is fucked and the situation is now getting worse due to AI, but I'm at a point in my career where, for my own sanity, I can selfishly choose not to worry too much about it.

A few years ago I decided I no longer had the bandwidth to care about systemic issues that I have no control over. I therefore no longer read the news. I use my vote when there is an election, but apart from that, I exist in a bubble without constantly being bombarded by the 24/7 news cycle and am much happier for it.

stillhiding1990 · 19/08/2025 06:51

Should a non national have recourse to nhs though?

stillhiding1990 · 19/08/2025 06:53

OP, you need to travel. Nothing like a trip to parts of Africa/Asia to make you realise how good we have it

Simonjt · 19/08/2025 06:53

stillhiding1990 · 19/08/2025 06:51

Should a non national have recourse to nhs though?

If they don’t, you would surely agree they shouldn’t have to pay the NHS surcharge and they should also pay a reduced amount of tax.

cheesycheesy · 19/08/2025 06:54

I live in an outer London suburb. I always manage to get a doctors appointment if needed. If there is a queue on the phone youre placed in a callback queue and the staff are very nice and apologise for the wait. I’ve always been seen. Either telephone or face to face. We could easily register with an nhs dentist round the corner. The area has massive amounts of free activities for children and adults. The roads are littered more but I think that’s due to so many single use plastics and other products. Manufacturers/takeaways need to be held accountable for this.

cheesycheesy · 19/08/2025 06:55

Good cheap public transport

catsareace · 19/08/2025 06:57

@KPPlumbing Very similar to me. I moved from a large City to a smaller market town 4 years ago which is thriving, shops are full, lots of visitors and a wonderful sense of community. Every weekend we walk into town and I still pinch myself that I live here. I have also stopped reading the news and ignorance really is bliss.

Upinflames · 19/08/2025 06:57

If I was a political party looking to create a sense that the UK is failing and that people want "change" ahead of a general election, I'd certainly be employing bots/PR agencies to spam forums like Mumsnet. Just saying.

Strugglingtodomybest · 19/08/2025 07:18

Can't get an NHS Dentist - this is true for me, so I have gone private and now wish that I'd gone private years ago! My private dentist is so much better than my NHS dentist and my teeth are in better shape than they've ever been.
Obviously I realise that I'm lucky to be able to afford a private dentist though and I think we need to be training more NHS dentists.

Can't get an NHS doctor appointment for weeks - not true for me. I have always been able to get a same day appointment.

Unqualified teachers with huge classes and very limited resources - my kids have left school now, so maybe things have changed in the last 3 years, but my friend who works in the secondary school they went to still talks about the same teachers, all of which were qualified, and has never made a comment about large class sizes or lack of resources, so I'm going to assume it's pretty much the same as it was when my kids were there.

Roads are full of potholes - there are a few potholes but I think "full" is an exaggeration.

Reported an attempted break-in. All I got was a telephone call from an officer who knew nothing about it. No follow up. - I can believe that. I guess they're not going to spend resources on an attempted break-in. Hopefully if it was an actual break-in then they would.

The environment is littered and dirty. - it always has been. If you don't like it then get off your arse and do something about it. I take part in organised litter picks.

Shops are closing down. - some are. Others are opening. At least in my town they are. This has surely always been the way? Obviously with the advent of online shopping there are some shops that we don't need so much. Like, why would I bother to drive into town, pay four pounds to park, just to go and buy a £2 bin that I could have bought off Amazon?

High streets are just chain stores. - not true for my town there are lots of little independent shops.

Food is expensive and ultra processed is normal.- food is cheap compared to other places I've visited in the world. No one is forcing you to eat ultra-processed food, I don't.

Racist views expressed without reservation. - this is not my experience but I am white so my experience is probably not relevant here (not meant in a sarcy way).

Overt sexism everywhere.- this is always been the way, in my experience. But at least now it's not legal to rape your wife. I don't get cat called or whistled at as I walk down the street (although that could be my age!), I can't remember the last time I was groped (that also may be my age), and I'm not regularly sexually assaulted at work anymore, so actually, on reflection, I think things have got better.

Media portrayal of ageing for women as a bad thing. - surely this is a worldwide phenomenon?

Unemployment rising. - is it? I'm not saying that you're lying, I'm just not sure because I don't know anyone who's struggling to get a job.

Men telling women what it feels like to be a woman. - yeah I'm not going near this subject!

Rivers are dying and the seas are filthy. - not my experience. I live near the sea and a river and both are fine. I go on them or in them daily.

Public transport is expensive and unreliable. - I agree with this but it has always been this way in my experience.

Nagginthenag · 19/08/2025 07:22

I live in a very deprived region in NE and don't recognise much of what you've listed. I can get a same day or following day Dr appointment, we have several NHS dentists locally, some who are taking on new patients.
I work in education and know a lot of qualified teachers who are doing an amazing job in sometimes quite difficult schools with the help of equally amazing TAs - the classes are a reasonable size and the TAs are assisting, not teaching.
We've been complaining about the number of contraflows locally due to resurfacing 😁 - councils can't win!
Luckily, we haven't had any crime to report so can't comment on this.
Will admit there are a few areas where litter is an issue but we have a lot of community litter picking groups so people do care and are prepared to do something about it.
Shops closing? That's on us. Use it or lose it. I have a work colleague who'd rather order a bottle of wine on amazon than pick one up from the various shops she passes on the way home, then complains about the state of the high Street. Go figure.
Food has become more expensive after being far too cheap and not reflecting production costs for years. Compared to many European countries, the US and Australia wespay far less for our food. It's only as UP as you want it to be.
We have a reform council, so yes, there is racism. But there are also swathes of HMOs housing asylum seekers, mostly groups of young men who have caused some issues.
Arrogant, entitled men - yup, agree.
Not sure about the media portrayal of ageing women - actually couldn't give a stuff.
One of my bf works for local river trust - our rivers are doing way better than they were even 50 years ago. Our seas are fine for swimming.
Unemployment is rising everywhere and this will probably get worse due time AI - it's not a UK centric problem.

Sweden is currently having significant issues with gang violence.

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 19/08/2025 07:24

Just to mention that Sweden has big issues of its own. Criminal gangs for example.

adlitem · 19/08/2025 08:07

I feel similar in some ways - especially when visiting other countries in Europe. Part of me would quite like to move (and am an EU national so I could) but thanks to Brexit DH wouldn't be able to come which is a bit of a non-starter.

I moved to the UK for university and decided to stay because I loved it - the people, the diversity, the culture, the sense of fun, the landscape, the possibilities. 20 years down the line it looks a lot different and there's been a real shift in the last 10 years - for the worse. I really do hope it changes direction as it is my (chosen!) home and a overall a great country.

didgeridid · 19/08/2025 09:52

Although I agree that things are wrong, I think your examples aren't great :
Can't get an NHS Dentist - as a family we all got an NHS dentist with in the past two years
Can't get an NHS doctor appointment for weeks - we get an appointment and day mostly
Unqualified teachers with huge classes and very limited resources - not come across this
Roads are full of potholes - true but doesn't effect my living standards
Reported an attempted break-in. All I got was a telephone call from an officer who knew nothing about it. No follow up. - this is awful
The environment is littered and dirty. - this is the public that do this
Shops are closing down. - again public. People so online, actual shops will go
High streets are just chain stores. - this has been standard for years
Food is expensive and ultra processed is normal. - that's choice. Our food shop £50-70 a week for a family of four with one in nappies and a cat inc toiletries
Racist views expressed without reservation. - this is an individual issue.
Overt sexism everywhere. - as above
Media portrayal of ageing for women as a bad thing.
Unemployment rising. As Alice
Men telling women what it feels like to be a woman. As above
Rivers are dying and the seas are filthy. Again, this is the public litterong
Public transport is expensive and unreliable. I agree with this