Page 3 | How is your food?

niadainud · 2025-08-18T12:24:10+00:00

I suspect this is going to make me sound entitled, but it's become a bugbear of mine so I'm curious as to whether other people feel the same. I eat out on my own quite frequently, usually at mid-range places. I tend to eat during less busy periods (this is relevant) i.e. on weekday afternoons, after the lunchtime rush. The thing that is annoying me is that when the server comes to check how the food is it's almost invariably when I have my mouth full. It's also pretty frequently when I've almost finished eating. So obviously if I'm eating a meal I'm going to have food in my mouth quite a lot of the time, I do appreciate that. But is it really that difficult to time the query so that I can actually reply to it rather than having to do some sort of combination of gurning and nodding? I would genuinely rather that they didn't bother to ask if it's just a box-ticking exercise. The relevance of me eating at less busy periods is that they're generally not run off their feet and could easily wait an extra second or two to enable me to swallow. I realise I could probably gesticulate that I want to communicate something, but that feels so awkward, trying to quickly clear my mouth while they are hovering. Perhaps that's just me... I have worked serving tables, but it was a long time ago and I don't remember what we were instructed to do about this aspect of service.

Emmz1510 · 19/08/2025 07:42

Yes, I get a little irritated with this too

Pickingmyselfup · 19/08/2025 08:17

As someone who has to do this at work, it's done so that we can make sure any problems are dealt with before the meal is finished. I don't aim to interrupt people but sometimes it's hard to get the timing right.

You can guarantee that if you don't check back and there is a problem you will get it in the neck from either a customer or a manager and you will be asked why you didn't check back.

We deal with enough arsey people without having even more landed on top of us when we are just trying to do our job and go home. It's not a personal insult to you, we don't purposely wait so that you can't complain. We are just doing what we are paid to do in the best way we can.

Notagain75 · 19/08/2025 08:21

It happens at most restaurants to give people a chance to complain before they have finished their food. It stops people eating their meal and then complaining when they hare about to pay that there was a problem.

OhYeahOhYeah · 19/08/2025 08:42

Surely if there was an issue with the food, you would have caught the attention of a waiter and communicated the problem as soon as it arose, instead of waiting for them to come to you?

I certainly wouldn’t wait until they approached me to ask, as this could be a while.

I agree it is annoying when they do this but kind of irrelevant as if there is no issue, you’d convey that mid chew (a smile/nod or whatever) and if there is indeed something you need to tell them, you’ve already done it…

Bjorkdidit · 19/08/2025 08:44

Pickingmyselfup · 19/08/2025 08:17

As someone who has to do this at work, it's done so that we can make sure any problems are dealt with before the meal is finished. I don't aim to interrupt people but sometimes it's hard to get the timing right.

You can guarantee that if you don't check back and there is a problem you will get it in the neck from either a customer or a manager and you will be asked why you didn't check back.

We deal with enough arsey people without having even more landed on top of us when we are just trying to do our job and go home. It's not a personal insult to you, we don't purposely wait so that you can't complain. We are just doing what we are paid to do in the best way we can.

But if people are happily engrossed in their food, or talking to their dining companion if they have one, you know they're happy with it. No news is good news.

If there was a problem, they'd be prodding at their food, or looking around to attract a staff member's attention.

The restaurant isn't interested in any response other than 'it's fine/nice' which is why they put the bare minimum effort into asking.

Tiredjusttired · 19/08/2025 08:48

I am so with the OP on this.

Likewise, after ordering something with nuts, dairy and wheat in it: ‘just need to check if there are any allergies?’

’Aye mate. I was obviusly planning suicide by baklava’

Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:53

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 19/08/2025 07:39

You're quite chippy aren't you?

To your original question, it's to stop people eating the meal then making a complaint and requesting a refund. You'd be surprised how many chancers there are. It's zero to do with you eating solo.

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Er, if you say so.

I know why they check. That wasn't my point. And obviously it's nothing to do with me eating alone. That wasn't my point either.

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Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:55

Tiredjusttired · 19/08/2025 08:48

I am so with the OP on this.

Likewise, after ordering something with nuts, dairy and wheat in it: ‘just need to check if there are any allergies?’

’Aye mate. I was obviusly planning suicide by baklava’

😄

Quite.

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Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:56

Bjorkdidit · 19/08/2025 08:44

But if people are happily engrossed in their food, or talking to their dining companion if they have one, you know they're happy with it. No news is good news.

If there was a problem, they'd be prodding at their food, or looking around to attract a staff member's attention.

The restaurant isn't interested in any response other than 'it's fine/nice' which is why they put the bare minimum effort into asking.

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Your last paragraph hits the nail on the head. I think that's why it annoys me. If you don't really want an answer then just leave me alone.

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Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:57

Notagain75 · 19/08/2025 08:21

It happens at most restaurants to give people a chance to complain before they have finished their food. It stops people eating their meal and then complaining when they hare about to pay that there was a problem.

I know, but that wasn't my point. My point was about them asking when you have your mouth full of food.

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Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:59

ChocolateCinderToffee · 19/08/2025 05:58

I don’t mind being asked, what infuriates me is they wait until you’ve got your mouth full and can’t speak anyway!

That's exactly my point.

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Original poster

niadainud · 19/08/2025 09:00

MissRaspberry · 18/08/2025 23:43

See I don't mind being asked but wish they'd do it when I haven't got a face full of my meal as I feel rude to say anything with food still in my mouth. I get they're probably instructed to ask and they're just doing their job

That's exactly my point.

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soupyspoon · 19/08/2025 09:09

It is sods law though isnt it, they're coming over just at that exact moment that you cant speak, typical of a situation like that.

phoenixrosehere · 19/08/2025 09:20

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 19/08/2025 06:33

I find it annoying too. It’s part of the script of “have a good day” etc which has trailed across the pond.
Customer service these days seems to consist of superficial over friendliness and not much else.

Some of us actually hope you have a good day not sure why that is consider superficial.

areyouinthedarkplace · 19/08/2025 10:22

Pickingmyselfup · 19/08/2025 08:17

As someone who has to do this at work, it's done so that we can make sure any problems are dealt with before the meal is finished. I don't aim to interrupt people but sometimes it's hard to get the timing right.

You can guarantee that if you don't check back and there is a problem you will get it in the neck from either a customer or a manager and you will be asked why you didn't check back.

We deal with enough arsey people without having even more landed on top of us when we are just trying to do our job and go home. It's not a personal insult to you, we don't purposely wait so that you can't complain. We are just doing what we are paid to do in the best way we can.

Literally this. We need to come over at some point and regardless of how busy or not you deem us to be, we've always got something that needs done. We pop over when we can, to make sure you're happy (and no, tucking in and chatting does not always mean you aren't then going to turn round and demand the bill to be halved for some reason that you haven't bothered to tell us; people can be really shitty). We want you to be happy and to have a nice time, and we want to be able to feed back what our customers do and don't like to our chefs, because we care about the business. Or because we don't want to get in trouble from our superiors when someone does complain and we haven't fixed the problem by the end of the meal. Also bear in mind that most of these people earn minimum wage and management in these places are notoriously terrible to their staff. We're doing our best.

Pickingmyselfup · 19/08/2025 15:01

areyouinthedarkplace · 19/08/2025 10:22

Literally this. We need to come over at some point and regardless of how busy or not you deem us to be, we've always got something that needs done. We pop over when we can, to make sure you're happy (and no, tucking in and chatting does not always mean you aren't then going to turn round and demand the bill to be halved for some reason that you haven't bothered to tell us; people can be really shitty). We want you to be happy and to have a nice time, and we want to be able to feed back what our customers do and don't like to our chefs, because we care about the business. Or because we don't want to get in trouble from our superiors when someone does complain and we haven't fixed the problem by the end of the meal. Also bear in mind that most of these people earn minimum wage and management in these places are notoriously terrible to their staff. We're doing our best.

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Yep. It's just as awkward for us when we catch you with a mouthful of food but we can't stand there the whole time waiting for the right moment because there are other things to be doing.

Some people also purposely complain to get a free meal so if you haven't done a check back then we don't have a leg to stand on whereas at least if we've checked back then the customer can not turn around at payment and say it was horrible and they refuse to pay because they had the opportunity to bring it up for us to fix.

GiveDogBone · 19/08/2025 18:35

niadainud · 18/08/2025 15:55

Oh well, I guess I win the prize for the most uninteresting AIBU!

Correct.

Maverickess · 19/08/2025 18:49

Slawit · 18/08/2025 16:03

I have always suspected they do this intentionally on the basis that you’re just going to give them a nod rather than rush for food down and actually complain. I also suspect they work on the assumption that if you haven't complained by the time they approach, you must be happy with your meal. When I have occasionally said something about the quality, the response is almost always the same: a non-committal "Oh, I'll pass that on to the kitchen”. Perhaps they do this to ensure you don't complain once you've eaten everything.

You are right though, it is annoying. I’m at an age now where I care little about what people think of me. Now, when they interrupt to ask about my meal, I make them wait. I give them a look that says, "Just wait until I'm finished chewing," and let them stand there, expecting a complaint. The look of pure relief when I finally tell them it's delicious is priceless.

Yes the power over service staff that you have as a customer is rather heady once you've had a taste of it isn't it!

Checked back on with an empty or full mouth or plate, not checked back on, whatever happens there'll always be a whine about it and it's always ruined someone's day/week/life and there's always someone who'll seek to have their ego boosted at the expense of someone else.

And we wonder why no one wants to work in hospitality.

knor · 19/08/2025 20:01

Haha saw your comment about it being boring.
but I do get you, it is annoying when they do that. I like to think they just don’t want to forget to ask so just do it on a whim and often, it’s when food is in the customers mouth.
but it’s also a tick box and as someone said, probably so they’re covered and you don’t actually ask for anything as you can’t as you have food in your mouth.

InWalksBarberalla · 19/08/2025 22:17

niadainud · 19/08/2025 08:57

I know, but that wasn't my point. My point was about them asking when you have your mouth full of food.

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Bit surely if you are eating your going to have food in your mouth at most points. Do you expect the busy wait staff to stand around observing you waiting for you to have a break. They just ask when they have a moment in between other tasks.

Original poster

niadainud · 20/08/2025 15:14

InWalksBarberalla · 19/08/2025 22:17

Bit surely if you are eating your going to have food in your mouth at most points. Do you expect the busy wait staff to stand around observing you waiting for you to have a break. They just ask when they have a moment in between other tasks.

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No, but I made a point of saying in my OP that I often eat when at times when it's not at all busy.

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tulippa · 20/08/2025 15:22

When I worked in restaurants a couple of decades ago, during quiet times we'd deliberately wait for customers to take a massive bite before going and asking if everything was ok. It kept us amused. Sorry.

Original poster

niadainud · 20/08/2025 20:07

tulippa · 20/08/2025 15:22

When I worked in restaurants a couple of decades ago, during quiet times we'd deliberately wait for customers to take a massive bite before going and asking if everything was ok. It kept us amused. Sorry.

😄😆

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T1Dmama · 24/08/2025 11:24

I agree @niadainud …
Ive eaten in a pub before and they’ve come and asked and someone I’m eating with just says it’s all fine and as I’ve had a mouth full I’ve been unable to say the food is a bit cold!
I’ve also had servers ask so quickly we haven’t even started the meal!…. Then they take the spoon away so no one else asks! Or on occasion after we’ve finished.. which is almost pointless!…
But yes I’ve no idea why they can’t just wait nearby and maybe say ‘I’ll be around so please just gesture with a wave if you have any issues with your food’’