How is your food?

[niadainud]

I suspect this is going to make me sound entitled, but it's become a bugbear of mine so I'm curious as to whether other people feel the same.

I eat out on my own quite frequently, usually at mid-range places. I tend to eat during less busy periods (this is relevant) i.e. on weekday afternoons, after the lunchtime rush.

The thing that is annoying me is that when the server comes to check how the food is it's almost invariably when I have my mouth full. It's also pretty frequently when I've almost finished eating.

So obviously if I'm eating a meal I'm going to have food in my mouth quite a lot of the time, I do appreciate that. But is it really that difficult to time the query so that I can actually reply to it rather than having to do some sort of combination of gurning and nodding? I would genuinely rather that they didn't bother to ask if it's just a box-ticking exercise.

The relevance of me eating at less busy periods is that they're generally not run off their feet and could easily wait an extra second or two to enable me to swallow. I realise I could probably gesticulate that I want to communicate something, but that feels so awkward, trying to quickly clear my mouth while they are hovering. Perhaps that's just me...

I have worked serving tables, but it was a long time ago and I don't remember what we were instructed to do about this aspect of service.

I do kind of wonder this too. Or at least, that they really don't give a shit.

I will complain when I think it's warranted, but that will be rarely. Usually only if something is badly burnt, although once I sent back the worst chocolate brownie I'd ever eaten - and I have eaten many chocolate brownies in my life.

Other occasions I've complained were when I found a worm in my salad and once when my spaghetti was almost totally congealed into a single pasta entity.

I sort of get that, but isn't it pretty much the same thing for them to come over to your table, look at you and wait until you've finished chewing, and then ask you if the food is okay? It's the same length of time waiting. Unless they have super vision and can tell from across the room 🤣 (but of course, even if they could, they might set off towards you and then you take another bite!)

Maybe they should give customers a red/green sign, like at Rodizio restaurants. Green = the food's fine, don't ask me. Red = I have a problem (diner to take responsibility for taking smaller bites so as to stay conversation ready!)

I do appreciate it's a "first world problem", blah, blah.

I disagree that is should be irrespective of how busy they are. If there are only a couple of people in the restaurant (which isn't unheard of at the times I often eat) then yes, they can spare 30 seconds. If they're run off they're feet that's a bit different.

I would have stopped eating if I was planning to send it back, but if it's just something like I'd like some mayo or another drink then I would start eating while it's hot and might not have noticed anyone approaching.

I'd just nod politely if my mouth was full. Then if there was a complaint or issue I'd tell them as soon as I'd finished that bite.

But if I had a problem I would've told them immediately as soon as I took the first bite so they could change it. Before they came for the check back.

No big deal really. It's much better than not checking.

It's easy enough to use hand gestures to convey whether you're happy or if there's something you want to speak to them about. First finger raised and eye contact would obviously mean 'hang on, let me just finish this mouthful so I can tell you'.

I'm more irritated by being left and having to try to catch someone's eye to tell them something's wrong. I'd much rather give a thumbs up or gesture to wait if an attentive server times their check badly than be ignored.

I'm afraid if you don't know you'll have to Google it because it's not letting me post a link to an explanation.

Well I typically just smile and nod.

I know OP says she dines alone, but in a typical scenario where there are two or more people at the table, how is the poor server meant to judge the exact moment to do this? If they have to wait for a moment where neither of you has your mouth full and you are not in the middle of a conversation then the poor souls could be hovering about uncertainly for ages. Really seems like a bizarrely trivial thing to get wound up about.

The reason I mentioned eating alone is that there isn't someone else who could answer if I have my mouth full.

But yes, if they don't really want an answer I'd rather just be left alone! Although conversely sometimes two or three people come to check.

Personally I would just rather they didn't ask at all.

I don't know why, but it's always annoyed me 😆 yes it's trivial, no it's not a big deal. But yes I find it irritating nonetheless.

I did laugh at the idea of the waiter/waitress sort of ducking behind a pillar until they find the exact right moment to pounce. Having said that, I think that waiters in fancy restaurants do manage to do this discreetly. Although there is usually a much higher ratio of servers to diners in that kind of establishment which makes it easier.

*their feet (could have sworn that's what I typed...).

I remember on Ramsey or the Hotel Inspector or one of those types of programmes, the waiter or the owner was told off for doing this. Its not necessary and interferes with the people at the table.

They were told to use their eyes, if someone is tucking in, they like the food, its ok. If they're sitting there poking and prodding at the food and chasing it round the plate and not really eating it, go over and ask if everything is ok.

The last two times we have ate out we really wanted the staff to come over mid meal so that we could order more drinks as it was table service only. Not one staff member to be seen the entire time. Yes we could have went looking but we were eating and by the time anyone was seen we just wanted the bill.

It wouldn't be an issue if said worker didn't ask when someone is clearly mid-mouthful!

No, I know what sod's law means! I just don't understand how it relates to this situation.

Its sods law that they come over just when you've got your mouth full, mid chew

Good. Situational awareness is bare minimum and is severely lacking from what I’ve seen. Having worked retail and in a restaurant, we’re told to look first and assess before going over to a customer.

YANBU OP.

This is a bugbear of mine as well. I like eating alone, get a few bites in and someone will come over and ask me how it was when I’m mid-chew. You can usually see if someone is still eating, putting something int heir mouths so why would you still approach them.

If I need something, I’ll get their attention and if the food is good, I’ll tell the server myself, praising the chef. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be eating it. I have on two rare occasions not eaten most of a meal because it was way too salty and told the server who asked because they could see that I didn’t eat much.

Yes, it's really annoying. But it's down to the manager - I worked as a waitress when I was at school, and the manager insisted on two 'check ins' per table - it really pissed off the customers and I hated doing it.

That's not really sod's law though.

See I don't mind being asked but wish they'd do it when I haven't got a face full of my meal as I feel rude to say anything with food still in my mouth. I get they're probably instructed to ask and they're just doing their job

I don’t mind being asked, what infuriates me is they wait until you’ve got your mouth full and can’t speak anyway!

I find it annoying too. It’s part of the script of “have a good day” etc which has trailed across the pond.
Customer service these days seems to consist of superficial over friendliness and not much else.

It's annoying.
Like when the dentist asks you a question requring more than an uh-huh type answer, when your gob is stretched open full of dental tools!

You're quite chippy aren't you?

To your original question, it's to stop people eating the meal then making a complaint and requesting a refund. You'd be surprised how many chancers there are. It's zero to do with you eating solo.