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Original poster

He’s come back steaming drunk

28 replies

forevergrateful1 · 17/08/2025 23:31

I mentioned to my boyfriend I am starting to get drained. If it’s not his debt, it’s his overwhelming emotions he piles on. He is very clingy and I put up another post about this. I told him today as I’ve been so drained emotionally it’s become physically draining that I’m constantly needing to sleep.

Although I have been feeling drained and low myself, he made commitments to see his friend which I was supposed to go. I didn’t go because we both don’t have the money especially him.

he’s come back steaming drunk been sick all over the toilet and has run up a tab to pay for these drinks. He even brought others drinks on this tab. I was fuming I got his clothes and told him to leave and he started crying. He’s slumped at the front door sleeping and won’t move now.

I don’t know what to do I’m so mad that I had to post.

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 17/08/2025 23:32

Leave him and throw him out.

mangosmoothie123 · 17/08/2025 23:34

You need to sit him down when he’s sober and give him an ultimatum. He needs to grow up a bit and be more responsible with his money and make better choices or you should reconsider your relationship.

Hope you’re okay

autienotnaughty · 17/08/2025 23:35

Ring the police and get him removed.
move on.

This man doesn’t care about your feelings you are better off single.

Original poster
forevergrateful1 · 17/08/2025 23:40

I can’t believe this because of our convo which was not even bad, I wasn’t horrible or anything. He’s decided to go drunk too many. The worst thing about it I’m sure no one else was drinking like that with him

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 17/08/2025 23:43

OP you're responsible for how much energy you pour into your relationship. He's responsible for his neediness and his debt.

I'd let him sleep, tell him to clean up after himself - though I can understand if you need to to use the bathroom - and speak to him about his behaviour.

In the meantime you need to reflect on how enmeshed you are with him and why you're putting in so much for seemingly little reward. Is he as dedicated to you as you are him? If not, what are you getting out of the relationship?

awkwardasfuck · 17/08/2025 23:46

Leave him sleep by the door tonight so he's not in danger (yes he might deserve it but you're better than that) then tomorrow morning give him a strong coffee, some painkillers, a bottle of water and kick him out -send him straight home along with anything he's kept at yours. Take the key off him if you can while he's out of it
Then decide if its a one off stupid decision and he owes you or if this is him and get rid of the man-child

Modt people can go out for drinks, even a few too many, without this drama

SaladAndChipsForTea · 17/08/2025 23:48

Oh, so not only has he behaved this way he's done it because it's your fault for having feelings and expressing them?

Pack his shit up next to him and don't open the door.

He's a waste of space boyfriend and he will be a worse husband and father.

Maddy70 · 17/08/2025 23:50

He's drunk now. Go through bed. Leave him on the sofa
Tomorrow throw him out

Original poster
forevergrateful1 · 17/08/2025 23:55

He told me he used to drink when he was down to feel better. He is also saying he didn’t try to get drunk and didn’t think he was gonna get like this.

Im honestly so upset

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 17/08/2025 23:57

mangosmoothie123 · 17/08/2025 23:34

You need to sit him down when he’s sober and give him an ultimatum. He needs to grow up a bit and be more responsible with his money and make better choices or you should reconsider your relationship.

Hope you’re okay

No. She doesn’t.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 17/08/2025 23:57
Janet Jackson Reaction GIF

'His debt'

Girl ltb

JLou08 · 17/08/2025 23:58

It sound like he is dealing with a lot of stress and that has led to him getting in such a state to numb the pain. That's not your responsibility though and it's not your job to pick up the pieces, you need to prioritise yourself. I would leave it for tonight, reasoning with a drunk person is useless. I do think you should wait for tomorrow then calmly let him know that you can't continue like this and the relationship is over. It sounds like he is ona slippery slope, don't get dragged down with him.

FrazzledHippy · 18/08/2025 00:08

How long have you been together? Do you have kids? Do you live together? Do you love him? Do you still have anything worth fighting for? All of this would factor into my decision as to what to do. Six months in, no kids, no joint responsibility and you're miserable? Fuck him off. A few years in, lots of good memories and love just hit a rough patch? Figure out how you can fix it and work together.

DarklingIlisten · 18/08/2025 04:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ due to privacy concerns.

PigletSanders · 18/08/2025 04:41

Oh just get rid of him. Clingy, disrespectful, drinks too much, shit load of debt, can’t communicate healthily…

Just don’t bother.

toomuchfaff · 18/08/2025 12:55

mangosmoothie123 · 17/08/2025 23:34

You need to sit him down when he’s sober and give him an ultimatum. He needs to grow up a bit and be more responsible with his money and make better choices or you should reconsider your relationship.

Hope you’re okay

Absofuckinglutely Not.

Ultimatums... they are just the best way forward in any situation. Unhealthy, ineffective, shows signs of manipulation and controlling behavior and leads to resentment. Dont give him an ultimatum.

Set the boundary that you won't put up with a clingy, needy, emotional vampire who cant control his drinking or his spending and walk away.

Are you his mum? Dont be the "parent" to this "child", you'll set a precedent.

adlitem · 18/08/2025 12:56

Why are you wasting your time on this guy?

Radiowaawaa · 18/08/2025 13:02

Too late for ultimatums. He’s behaving like a child.
Don’t be pulled down with him.

pikkumyy77 · 18/08/2025 13:05

This is who he is. This is his coping mechanism. He is not going to change.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 18/08/2025 13:10

You wrote this last night, so I expect he is now on the other side of the front door ?!

' boyfriend ' so not a live in partner, and def not a husband.

how does he enhance and enrich your life every day, every single day.

There aren't any children involved is there ? as i guess he is about 18/19.

Zucker · 18/08/2025 13:14

Hopefully you opened the front door and let him slide outside? Don't waste more of your time with someone like this. He's an emotional and financial vampire. Literally sucking the life out of you.

HellsBells13 · 18/08/2025 13:15

He is such an unattractive character, he's not one of lifes winners. You can do better than this man.

NOresponsibility · 18/08/2025 13:22

I had an ex like him i had enough off it and got rid.

chattyness · 18/08/2025 13:24

forevergrateful1 · 17/08/2025 23:55

He told me he used to drink when he was down to feel better. He is also saying he didn’t try to get drunk and didn’t think he was gonna get like this.

Im honestly so upset

All alcoholics start off saying shit like this " I didn't mean to , I was only going to have a couple...I won't do it again.... I'll change, I'll give it all up just take me back, please.....
It's all BS if he's not an alcoholic now he soon will be. Set him and yourself free, dump him or he will drain the life out of you.

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 18/08/2025 13:28

He's not worth your energy. Throw him back and be happy.