Do you have "junk" food in your house on a regular basis?

[Ilfurfante]

Just had a debate with my teen DC who argue that we don't have enough variety of food in our house. When asked what they mean, they actually are just referring to what I perceive to be junk food - so crisps, biscuits, chocolate and sugary cereal.

I try to provide a healthy balanced diet but I don't buy these types of foods as routine because actually they just eat them and leave the stuff which is healthy. For instance, they have a choice of porridge, Weetabix or unsweetened muesli for breakfast or they can have eggs, toast, greek yoghurt, fruit etc (in fact the 12 year old made waffles from scratch and had them with blueberries and maple Syrup this morning). If I bought the sugary cereal, they would eat that - they would never choose any of the above options over that so I don't buy it.

I have just made a delicious home cooked lunch (lamb kofta kebabs, bean and tomato salad, homemade focaccia, green salad and tzastiki) which was full of flavour. They all enjoyed it and ate it but they just don't perceive that this as something of value.

We do have what I would consider "treats" but just not as a matter of course (fizzy drinks if it's a special meal, crisps with lunch sometimes, Greggs etc). I don't want them to think these are part of a normal diet on a daily basis. They think I am totally unreasonable.

Am I?

I don’t think you are unreasonable at all and it sounds like there’s plenty of variety in the food you provide.

Kids will always advocate for what they want but its your job to say no sometimes. Treats are good as long as they are just that: treats. If they are available on demand every day they are not treats!

I have crisps and chocolate/biscuit bars etc in. My kids know what is healthy and what isn’t and I encourage them to ensure they eat a balanced diet. I am a firm believer in everything in moderation. Restricting them won’t help when they’re older and on their own 🤷‍♀️

But I don't feel like I'm restricting them, I'm just not providing it.

With the crisps/chocolate etc in your house - when do they/you have it? Is it a daily occurrence. How does it work?

The issue is that they are not small DCs any more. It’s all well and good to restrict their diet to no junk when they are little, but when they are teens you have to loosen the restrictions so they can learn the self control and moderation you have by the time they are 18.

Right now you are still doing it for them like you did when they were 6. When they leave home in a few years, you won’t be there to manage their diets, buy food, cook for them- they will be flung into a paradise of forbidden donuts with no tools or experience on how to self regulate their consumption of less healthy foods. And they will have the money, time and space to buy and eat whatever takes their fancy. Most young adults that come from very restricted upbringings and have expressed discontent about it while teens will gorge themselves on whatever was forbidden. Better they get that out of their system earlier rather than later.

Surely you have a cupboard that has some crisps / bread sticks / cereal bars / rice cake / the occasional
kitkat?

Teenagers love junk food. I do have it in my house but I wish I had your habits from early on OP. However, DD doesn't eat much of it. She does go mad for a pizza or saucy pasta if offered, and loves bean burgers with oven chips. I sometimes cook from scratch maybe three tumes a week but I work shifts so it's not always possible.

My boys would be round to yours for that lunch! I think you’re reasonable. We do have some chocolate Kit Kats - crisps, but they aren’t that keen. Chocolate and biscuits tend to sit around- I used to eat a lot but I’m being v sensible at the moment!

We don’t have sugary cereal in, but yes to chocolate, biscuits and crisps. And things like popcorn, ice cream, fizzy drinks etc.

One of my kids has a bar of chocolate every day, crisps a few times a week. The other have something a few times a week. They all eat healthy meals most of the time and they’re active, so I don’t worry about it.

This. Any of DD’s friends who weren’t allowed to have ‘junk’ went absolutely mad for it once they had the freedom to source it themselves - think crème eggs and Monster energy drinks for breakfast with a sharing bag of crisps + haribo to themselves after school!!

I’ve always been an everything in moderation mum and as a consequence DD (now 21) has grown up to be a very naturally balanced eater. Despite free access to crisps, chocolate etc 9 times out of 10 she would rather have good, home cooked food. The only child I’ve ever known that would’ve rather had vegetables than sweets 🤣

I think that I would like to live with you!

If they're teens and have pocket money, then they can always buy their own snacks if it's that important to them

I'd buy a small amount, but then if that gets finished, I wouldn't be rushing to stock up again until the next big shop. I'd probably hold the line on cereal, but maybe get some crisps or chocolate or whatever they like. So if they eat it all in one day, then there's no more for a while.

But I don't think you're at all unreasonable to do it your way.

We've always had this sort of thing in the house so my 3 adult sons just saw it as an absolutely normal part of eating a healthy, balanced diet when growing up.

We've always discussed healthy eating, diet, weight and exercise.

They were also taught these things at school and just seemed to self-regulate with no problems.

Yes all the time no junk food means no food.

My god that lunch sounds amazing!

we have a snack cupboard which has crisps, bread sticks, biscuits, rice cakes, popcorn. Then in the fridge there’s cheese strings, baby bel, yogurts, fruit and usually some sort of dip for the breadsticks. My kids have unrestricted access to all food. They are very fit, slender and constantly on the move.

it’s all about moderation I suppose.

When our youngest DD returned home from Uni after her first term, several years ago, she complained that we 'only had ingredients in the house, not proper food'😆 She's always had a big appetite, is v active and slim, but is still partial to some less than healthy snacks from time to time. Everything in moderation I say!

I have decided to stop buying as much like OP, but for different reasons...I am trying to lose weight. 🙃 so less junk lying around the better. But I don't restrict anyone infact I say "have more". Sometimes they take the sweet stuff sometimes they decline....but I cook home made meals regularly and my 18yo prefers pasta to anything else. He will wolf mac cheese down but not so fussed with certain puddings. I offer tinned fruits as well as fresh for "pudding ".

Definitely agree with a PP. Restricting will just have the opposite effect as they go off to lead independent lives later on. Let them have choices!

YANBU. It’s absolutely NOT normal or healthy to be eating crisps, biscuits, chocolate etc every single day. People can often get away it when they’re still young and active but then they become adults and struggle to adjust their diet to suit their more sedentary lifestyles. Presumably your kids get pocket money so they can treat themselves to the odd chocolate bar or can of coke if they wish!

Same here. I don’t restrict anything (Ds aged 13 and dd aged 22), never have. The only thing I don’t buy regularly are fizzy drinks because they’re just full of chemicals. I do have chocolate, crisps, all kinds of stuff and the fridge is full of fruit and healthy snacks too. They eat a fair balance of both. Very active - especially Ds, he does a lot of sport.

This is so interesting!

Like I have said previously - I don't believe I am restricting anyone's diet. We live right by a shop and they are free to go and but whatever they like. DH and I don't eat that kind of food regularly so we just don't have it in the house. If I fancy some chocolate, I'd go and buy some but I don't know why we'd need it in the house as a staple. Chocolate, crisps and biscuits are not something I would consider as part of a daily balanced diet, they are a treat occasionally but certainly not a the norm in our house.

Yes we are retired so allowed to

My children are still little (2 and 3) we tend to have thing like home made energy balls (dates, peanut butter and cocoa powder) cashew nuts and cranberries or just fruit and veg for snacks but I keep some hidden chocolate for me after bedtime 🤣
Depending on time could you make cakes for everyone to have something sweet with all the addictive additives?

We have all those things at home. DC don’t have them everyday. I want them to grow up able to work out how to fit in treats themselves, not be denied and then rabid for them. Some of their friends who never get to have this stuff, ask immediately when they come round.

YANBU. Granted it's just me but I don't routinely buy crisps, chocolates etc. Currently, if I wanted a snack, there's rice cakes, cheese, nuts and fruit.

I don’t eat them often either, but my kids like them so I buy them in. If they’re telling you that they would like them, why not buy them some? You seem to say that if you and your partner don’t eat something, then you don’t buy them which seems odd to me as your kids live in the house too and they’re teens so old enough to make some choices for themselves.

We do our shopping online and we ask our kids, who are teens and adults, what they want, above or instead of the usual stuff. They’ll often suggest a certain meal so I order the ingredients or they ask for specific chocolate, crisps etc. I don’t expect them to just eat what we do or go to the shop themselves for extras.

If I fancy some chocolate, I'd go and buy some

When they fancy some chocolate, would you add it to the shop for them?

For instance, they have a choice of porridge, Weetabix or unsweetened muesli for breakfast or they can have eggs, toast, greek yoghurt, fruit etc

This is restricting their choices. As teens, you should not be restricting them like this,