Leave 11 year old alone 20 minutes?

[Onlycoffee4]

Hi, just looking for advice - no bashing please! My child is 11, has quite bad social phobia and ASD. They’re responsible, although they do attend a special school it’s more down to their social needs. They’ve never been left alone before or went into the community alone before.
There’s times they won’t even come with me to my local shop to get what we need for dinner etc. which means when my husband is at work I’m having to JustEat my groceries which is obviously costing more and half the time there’s items missing.
My shop is 5 minutes away, so by the time I got there, got around the shop and got back it would be around 20 minutes max.

This.

I think you need to have clear rules and start small. I'd keel the rules on the fridge and front door. I would start with 5 minutes about build up. 5 mincing Drem lime a long time when you ate alone and anxious.

Try it and see, make sure you explain how long you will be gone. Maybe just be gone 5 minutes the first time, if that's OK, try 10 minutes, etc.

I agree that it depends on the child.

A couple of months after her 11th birthday my daughter was travelling to school independently (walk to station, train, change platform to second train and then walk to school). A couple of times a week she was alone in the house for an hour before I got home from work.

In an emergency she would have gone to a neighbour who used to be her childminder and who still looked after her younger sister after school.

I'm glad, because often reading MN it gives the impression people don't think leaving a NT 11 year old alone is normal