AIBU to worry about how long I need to live to raise my kids

[HomeHouseHelp]

I don’t know if this will make sense! I guess I am wondering if others feel the same way.

I’m 40 with a 10 month old and a toddler. I started ttc at 30 and ended up on a long fertility struggle where I got tunnel vision about having children regardless of the situation.

now at 40 with my two children and after lots of ivf and two high risk pregnancies I worry a lot about how long I need to live to raise them. Like when I am 60 they’ll only be early 20’s.

years and years to go where I need to not get cancer, stay healthy, be able to be there for them, not to spend time ill or infirm. It feels impossible and I feel so devastated to think I might not be there for them or that I might die young and leave them without a mother. My toddler in particular is so attached to me. Children need their mothers and I just feel so upset at the thoughts of them losing me.

This has not been helped by how for the past few weeks I’ve had new aching pain in one breast and pain in rib which I am now worried is breast cancer as it’s persisted throughout a full menstrual cycle.

I just want a normal boring life with my children and husband. Raising them, doing laundry, working etc. I don’t want anything fancy or anything ambitious. Just to be there for them and live my life alongside them.

does anyone else feel like this? It just feels so hopeless.

Sounds like you need some council long or something, enjoy your kids you can't worry about what may or may not be and if 40 is old heaven forbid as I'm 41 and my youngest are twins 3 and up to 15 and I adore them all

My parents had me at 30 (mother) and 34 (father). They both died when I was in my early 20s (dad 21, mom 23). You never know about these things.

60 is well below the average life expectancy in the UK. Just do your best to keep as healthy as you can.

Is it possible you might be suffering from postpartum anxiety, as many of us do?

I'm 64 my kids are 29 and 32
My fear of them grieving my passing horrifies me. I've already spoken to them about no dark funeral service just a celebration. I also obsess about them paying taxes on my hard earned assets having been taxed paye all my working life.
Dark i know.
@HomeHouseHelp we need to stop it.