Do you think this is racist?

[Helpmechooseausername]

I was on holiday and had developed quite a good tan (I'm white). I said to someone "if I stayed here for another few weeks I'd be the colour of chocolate" and they said I was being racist. They said that I was saying that someone who is black (I hope that is an acceptable term) is the colour of chocolate and that is offensive.

It's totally stumped me! I was referring to myself, not anyone else, regardless of their colour. I genuinely think I'm not offensive to anyone - I certainly don't try to be - but it makes me feel like this is a very narrow tightrope I'm on!

AIBU to think that what I said was ok, or do I need to rethink this?

Thanks!

It really is depressing to see unfold, what you've described. Apologising for being white, in all but words.

And.... That means it's automatically not used to describe someone that looks ill? And that technically it's a racist term for white people ? Because all insults make sense don't they ? Does a "shithead" literally have shit on their head then ? (I suppose shit is brown so I shouldn't have used that example. Wouldn't want to worry I've been racist now )

Course you’re not.

Wonder if the accuser would call describing somebody as a bounty bar, racist. That slur normally goes under the radar - I wonder why 🤔

It's true unfortunately.

That's why I just relax and be myself around pretty much everyone. I don't dislike somebody until they give me reason to. And funnily enough, I don't tend to plonk "skin colour" or any other characteristic in there as a determinent of like or dislike.

I hear you. I know it’s not the exact same but my family are Jewish and pass for what you would call white I guess. but we tan in the sun and people do assume us for Indians and that’s other Indians who say this. Can see why they would assume it. Also our cultures are so similar

My oldest daughter is currently engaged to a Indian man so it would be a eye opener if they ever had a child together and see how the child looked! 🥰

Anyone black who is middle class and educated and speaks with an RP accent is labelled as a 'coconut' (by black people ). I don't even know where to start with how insulting that is....

It is insulting both black and white people - and is extremely racist. I don't have the energy to fight against the white people can't be victims of racism mantra, anymore.

I could go on about how I've read posts about Kemi Badenoch and how she should be ashamed of herself and how she's not the right kind of "black person " (basically the coconut thing ) and it wasn't coming from white people. So black people have to be a hive mind ? As stated by other black people ? I see an incredibly intelligent, wealthy, educated, privileged and strong woman who happens to speak like a posh English woman (which you would if you were born in Wimbledon into a wealthy family.) but it's like she's "betraying black people" by being herself and daring to be successful and powerful and not being a downtrodden victim because of her (irrelevant) skin colour. She should be seen as a great big powerful message of what black people can achieve (we're always told the UK treats them as second class citizens or worse ) and here we have a strong and capable black women who could (and in my opinion should ) be our next prime minister. (I know she's controversial in some areas , but I favour her over others considerably)

As for the whole white people can't be victims of racism. They can. Fact. The rest is pop psychology. We just need balance back and to live by old fashioned values : "treat others as you'd expect to be treated yourself" "don't rock my boat and I don't rock yours "

It's not insulting to white people at all. It's basically saying that only white people are educated and well spoken. Doesn't make it right though but thankfully the slur is dying out now. Not something generally heard in the last decade.

Well whatever it is, it's playing black people off against white people and keeping the divide. Some thrive on it.

My kids used to do that a lot! Literally everything people said was racist.They've grown out of it now and realise racism has an historical connection and goes a lot deeper than mentioning someone's skin colour. It's a challenging thing to explain to kids but unfortunately life has taught them a lot more than us or school can. Seeing what has gone on since Brexit is very sad and becoming like it was in the 70s and 80s in my opinion.

Om 61. I honestly don’t think I’ve every used colour to describe however Iill some e looks 🤷‍♀️

Actually that’s probably not true. A bit green perhaps.

Sorry, aliens.

Just because you haven't it doesn't mean that nobody ever has ? It's a common one !

I've certainly heard it from a good few colleagues..... (Non white) It's alive and well.

You couldn't be more wrong actually, in your attempt to be pointlessly aggressive. Do you speak to people irl like that?

And you do realise that this is a chat forum, don't you? I always find it interesting how many people will choose to spend their spare time on MN (which is clearly a hobby, presumably of the sort that you recommend) and then berate other people who have also chosen to spend their spare time on MN for being somehow sad or lacking for doing so!

No, op

My family is Jewish too and also mistaken for Indian all the time! They went to India and people there refused to believe they weren't! And GP mentioning South Asian heritage and then being really apologetic/confused

I wouldn't say that's racist - you made no reference to race or the colour of other people's skin.

That's not racist, other person is an idiot though.

Very weird thing to say-I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say “the colour of chocolate”……

By 'some' black people, mind. Most wouldn't use this term or even have it cross our minds.

I'd love for some people to come and hang out with a bunch of us black folk some time and hear the jokes we make about each other 😅 all on good faith. Honestly we really don't worry about this shit!

You were definitely not being racist.

The person was being ridiculously touchy.