I’m almost 40. I’ve always struggled a bit mentally with OCD, anxiety etc but on the face of it I’ve had a decent life with a good career, lots of friends and I suppose a pretty normal looking existence.
I have experienced depression once following a particular incident and it was horrendous, like darkness. So I know that what I am experiencing now is not that. I also take a small dose of sertraline to control my anxiety a little
For a while now, maybe a few years, I’ve just felt like I’ve been getting through the day. I don’t really get excited about anything. I have a toddler and a partner and we have enjoyable times that I look forward to…but I have this overwhelming feeling of tiredness. As if I just don’t really care. I used to love doing my hair and make up and I would take my time ensuring I looked smart and I had a mild interest in fashion. I would wash my hair daily and always have a new perfume on the go. I’d see friends often and be ok with a long drive. I’d have chats on the phone and enjoy it. I used to like wandering round the shops. Even having a meal in a restaurant, one of my previous pastimes, I don’t really enjoy much anymore. I find places noisy and exhausting. I can barely be bothered to eat at home either as I feel too lazy.
I don’t think it’s my toddler… she sleeps through and I work part time and have two days a week totally to myself. I do have the opportunity to see friends and to make an effort with my appearance etc but I just don’t.
ive been to the GP and had endless blood tests and so on… all come back fine. I also take iron tablets as my ferritin was a little low but only a little! It was in the 60s. It’s also been as low as 17 before and so it can’t be that.
Are these feelings just getting older? I don’t ever feel a spice for life anymore and I used to be witty and fun and energetic.