Is this just getting older? Does life feel like this for most people my age?

[Ubdea]

I’m almost 40. I’ve always struggled a bit mentally with OCD, anxiety etc but on the face of it I’ve had a decent life with a good career, lots of friends and I suppose a pretty normal looking existence.

I have experienced depression once following a particular incident and it was horrendous, like darkness. So I know that what I am experiencing now is not that. I also take a small dose of sertraline to control my anxiety a little

For a while now, maybe a few years, I’ve just felt like I’ve been getting through the day. I don’t really get excited about anything. I have a toddler and a partner and we have enjoyable times that I look forward to…but I have this overwhelming feeling of tiredness. As if I just don’t really care. I used to love doing my hair and make up and I would take my time ensuring I looked smart and I had a mild interest in fashion. I would wash my hair daily and always have a new perfume on the go. I’d see friends often and be ok with a long drive. I’d have chats on the phone and enjoy it. I used to like wandering round the shops. Even having a meal in a restaurant, one of my previous pastimes, I don’t really enjoy much anymore. I find places noisy and exhausting. I can barely be bothered to eat at home either as I feel too lazy.

I don’t think it’s my toddler… she sleeps through and I work part time and have two days a week totally to myself. I do have the opportunity to see friends and to make an effort with my appearance etc but I just don’t.

ive been to the GP and had endless blood tests and so on… all come back fine. I also take iron tablets as my ferritin was a little low but only a little! It was in the 60s. It’s also been as low as 17 before and so it can’t be that.

Are these feelings just getting older? I don’t ever feel a spice for life anymore and I used to be witty and fun and energetic.

Sounds a lot like burnout, which OCD can cause. Only solution is lots of rest and not feeling guilty about it.

It could be the sertraline. I found it really took the edge off positive emotions as well as the negative ones it was treating.

Sorry OP but that’s not my experience; life can be really hard and I get ground down by it but there’s still lots I enjoy and although the things I enjoy are simpler and slower than before your experience doesn’t match mine. Having said that it rings a bell with how I’ve felt in the past, i remember feeling suffocated by my life and what I’ve found has really helped is having something just for - exercise, progressing my career, adding in hobbies even small things

I am in my 30s and I could have honestly written this post myself. I don't look forward to anything at all, I just prefer to sit in silence! Constantly exhausted too. My children are older so it's not due to being busy with them. I have had blood tests and also on long term iron tablets. I have experienced depression before and previously was on medication for this but it is not the same feeling at all. Wish I could understand why I feel the way I do

It could just be the Sertraline. I'm on a low (37.5) dose of Vencarm as anything higher just dulls the senses. With my current dose, which I've been on for years, it keeps me ticking over. I feel sadness and joy, where appropriate. I've been on stronger doses of various AD in the past and whilst necessary through the initial 'black fog' it's no good long term. Zombie mode.
The answer could simply be in lowering your current medication or changing it.
Please go back to your Dr. and tell him exactly what you've said here in your opening post. Tell them you want to try something else.

I’m 37 and feel like this. I shouldn’t, as my life is perfect. I do appreciate that and feel very lucky, I just for some reason don’t find any joy in anything. It’s odd.

It's well known that middle age is generally the least enjoyable part of life. There is a graph and everything.

@JustPinkFinch ive felt like this for several years though

It can definitely start in your 30s and persist for a long time.

Mine started at 40.

@JustPinkFinch how does a GP diagnose it? I’m worried it could be this!

I'm mid 50s and I feel I could have written this myself around 4 years ago. I had experienced some trauma that I thought I was coping with well post the trauma but was finding that life was largely joyless. My days would feel heavy and hard work (even though they were not) Usually such a positive person I found it so difficult to understand. Yet I had a great life! No money worries, amazing DH, family etc. and part time job I loved.

I went to see a therapist and after every session I felt just a little bit lighter. We talked through such a lot of things and I really opened up about my trauma, something I hadn't done before and was very reluctant to do so - I didn't think it would help at all. I understand now though that by letting out the bad I was able to let the good back in. Hard to explain really but I was blocking out everything as I didn't want to feel the difficult emotions, catastrophising and sadness around the trauma and by doing this, I was also blocking out all of the good which I wasn't letting in. By talking about the trauma and understanding my emotions better, my life got better. Well, my emotions got better, my life got happy again.

Maybe it's your trauma that you haven't dealt with yet OP? Sending you good wishes and hope that you can feel better and get your joy for life back again.

Really, only from symptoms. I would read the NICE guidelines on HRT, as you may have to fight a bit for it at your age. My symptoms:

• loss of joy
• loss of motivation/tenacity
• poor sleep in second half of cycle
• hip & ankle pain
• headaches
• shiiiiiiit hair
• shorter cycles
• PMS (never had it before)
• weight gain

It starts subtle and then one day you wake up and realise you feel like a different person. A stranger in your own body.

Even if you took HRT for 3 months you'd have a good idea if it's going to help. I felt an improvement quite quickly.

Sounds to me like you have hit Perimenopause.
check out the Balance app by Dr Louise Newson, everything you need to know about change in our hormones.
I felt the same as you and it felt different from depression . Hormones fluctuating with have the symptoms of tiredness and lack of energy and down right no joy .
perhaps see your GP and talk about HRT, and go from there .

Sorry I just added a post and have just seen yours .
100% agree !

I have a 10 years older sister.

I remember her sitting on my sofa when I was about 35, sobbing about how menopause was affecting her life. I remember hugging her but struggling to really understand. I couldn't imagine ever feeling like she did.

Well, here I am, age 46 and understanding every word.

Apologies in advance if misread but ferritin of 17? Low 60's? That's like Dead? Have I misread? My level was 43 an was life threatening?

Right yeah, more meds are the answer everything?!
Op sounds bored, like she needs some connection with her community that isn't about how she looks. Classic case of dull consumerist lifestyle (without real connections) just boring people because- it's boring!!
I'm not pretending the answers are easy, but more medication, really?
People promoting those solutions should remember that they come from profit motivated businesses, who need to make a fast return on their investments before the patent expires.
I'm not anti big pharma at all, it's a business which serves us in many ways, but let's be clear eyed about them.

I don't think it's age.

I do know the feeling though- it was grief, bereavement, trauma, a coercive group that made me like that.

I am older now (obviously!) and feel 100x better. I feel joy again. Therapy was a help, time, understanding mind control, and especially leaving the group.

I feel just like this but my DC is 16 years old. I’m late 40s and perimenopause but HRT made things even worse for me. It is awful feeling like this. I feel numb and panicky and suffocated and I get no enjoyment from anything any more. Can’t see the point in anything and can’t understand how I ever did.

Nope. I'm 44 and have incurable cancer. I love life, find joy every day and always have things I'm excited about.

I second this. Also hypothyroid but not started on levo yet (even though I'm supposed to have!) so I can't say whether it's down to that 100%. Did you find a dramatic improvement in your mood after going on levo (I assume?)

I think there are two things they test re iron. I was around 16 last time I was tested, years ago I was 7! And I think it was the ferritin. They don't usually seem to worry until you're below 10 (although it's far too low) I honestly didn't have any symptoms when I was a 7 other than general lack of energy. Maybe because I had it so long I was just used to feeling crap though!

I'm a lot younger than you and have bouts like this. Usually I can pin it on something as to why I'm feeling a certain way. And even the most wonderful children can take away our energy where we don't have much left to give.
Are there any life's stresses going on in the background? Or perhaps you just need some pure you time to get back to enjoying what you like more.

Probably the sertraline. I took it for a year after two close family members died. It dulled all emotions, positive and negative.

You're probably confusing ferritin with haemoglobin.