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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell the neighbours to neuter their cat?

42 replies

DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 19:49

Hoping for your valued opinions on this situation.

My next door neighbours acquired a cat about three years ago, fully grown and large male. They didn't allow it outside at all until about a year ago.

Since then all hell has broken loose in the cat community. There's my two, plus about three or four others on our small area, and it bullies all of them. We have a communal garden accessible from our back yards. Before this one turned up all was fine.

Now there's loud aggressive noises, fighting and the cat in question, let's call him Tosser, keeps coming onto my property and terrifying my cats. There are fights/hissing/shrieking etc regularly with mine and others.

Now today one of mine had to go to the vets due to a burst abcess caused by a fight with this cat. It cost me £175. The other neighbours cat had a similar injury a few weeks ago.

I think the cat must not be neutered. All the others round here are. Am I reasonable to ask them to neuter the cat? And tell them the cost of the treatment for the injury it caused? It also broke the top of my fence as it keeps coming into my property.

I feel upset as it costs so much and my poor cats are terrified. I'm not expecting them to pay my full vets bill for this incident. Just to neuter their own cat or care that it's causing so many problems.

Can I get them to control the cat (god knows how other than keep him in) or neutered or can I go down the legal route if there's more injuries?

I like this family and have no discord towards them. But I'm at my wits end with how their cat has taken over the area to the detriment of all the others. I also don't think they have that much money.

Any advice or opinions gladly received! X

OP posts:
Zov · 14/08/2025 19:52

You can try to tell them to neuter their cat, but they will very likely tell you to bog off. I am sorry you (and the neighbourhood cats, and your cat) are suffering though. Not sure what you can do really. Asking them to neuter him can't do any harm. May not stop him being a big cat bully though.

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/08/2025 19:54

You’ve answered your own question…they don’t have much money

you can’t ‘tell’ them to do anything and how do you prove who injuried who between various roaming cats?

Zov · 14/08/2025 20:00

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/08/2025 19:54

You’ve answered your own question…they don’t have much money

you can’t ‘tell’ them to do anything and how do you prove who injuried who between various roaming cats?

Nonsense. To get a cat neutered (in the UK,) costs between £100 and £150. If they can't afford to pay for neutering their cat, they can't afford to keep the cat. What are they going to do if he needs veterinary care? That could cost 100s - or even 1000s of pounds. 'Can't afford it' is a rubbish excuse. They need to get this cat neutered!

Laura95167 · 14/08/2025 20:04

Buy a supersoaker and scare him off

PrinceRegentLady · 14/08/2025 20:06

I would offer to go halves on the cost of neutering him & explain it is because of serious injury to your own cat.

As a pp said, the cost of neutering is not high - but there is something about offering to go halves on anything at all that somehow makes it more tempting.

I would avoid being hostile in any way when asking- I would not list the unfortunate Tosser’s* various crimes in detail! You need them on your side to get this done.

*great nom de plume

KrisAkabusi · 14/08/2025 20:13

You can ask them to get him neutered, but you can't tell them. There's no legal requirement to have pets neutered, so there's no way to force the issue.

showberners · 14/08/2025 20:19

I know for a fact my male cat has caused abcesses on other cats, my mums included. He also fights regularly, he is however neutered.

So there's a chance that there's is.

Panterusblackish · 14/08/2025 20:23

Are you sure he's not neutered?

Our neighbour's at work have a neutered male and he's an absolute brawler.

The unneutered stray male I'm trying to rescue at present is terrified of him.

Judiezones · 14/08/2025 20:24

It might already be neutered. Years ago our neighbours had a big bruiser of a cat, he was definitely castrated and he was a big bully and used to beat up our big softy cat.
We just used to rescue ours whenever bruiser was out.

grumpygrape · 14/08/2025 20:27

DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 19:49

Hoping for your valued opinions on this situation.

My next door neighbours acquired a cat about three years ago, fully grown and large male. They didn't allow it outside at all until about a year ago.

Since then all hell has broken loose in the cat community. There's my two, plus about three or four others on our small area, and it bullies all of them. We have a communal garden accessible from our back yards. Before this one turned up all was fine.

Now there's loud aggressive noises, fighting and the cat in question, let's call him Tosser, keeps coming onto my property and terrifying my cats. There are fights/hissing/shrieking etc regularly with mine and others.

Now today one of mine had to go to the vets due to a burst abcess caused by a fight with this cat. It cost me £175. The other neighbours cat had a similar injury a few weeks ago.

I think the cat must not be neutered. All the others round here are. Am I reasonable to ask them to neuter the cat? And tell them the cost of the treatment for the injury it caused? It also broke the top of my fence as it keeps coming into my property.

I feel upset as it costs so much and my poor cats are terrified. I'm not expecting them to pay my full vets bill for this incident. Just to neuter their own cat or care that it's causing so many problems.

Can I get them to control the cat (god knows how other than keep him in) or neutered or can I go down the legal route if there's more injuries?

I like this family and have no discord towards them. But I'm at my wits end with how their cat has taken over the area to the detriment of all the others. I also don't think they have that much money.

Any advice or opinions gladly received! X

If they kept an unneutered Tom in their house for 2 years it would smell for miles away.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 14/08/2025 20:33

Zov · 14/08/2025 20:00

Nonsense. To get a cat neutered (in the UK,) costs between £100 and £150. If they can't afford to pay for neutering their cat, they can't afford to keep the cat. What are they going to do if he needs veterinary care? That could cost 100s - or even 1000s of pounds. 'Can't afford it' is a rubbish excuse. They need to get this cat neutered!

Show quote history

It doesn’t matter if you think it’s a rubbish excuse. You don’t get to decide what they spend their money on.

BrizzleMaverick · 14/08/2025 20:37

It may not stop him being aggressive. It’s more than likely that he has come in to a community of cats and as a male is trying to dominate.

why did they suddenly let it become an outdoor cat?

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:40

Zov · 14/08/2025 19:52

You can try to tell them to neuter their cat, but they will very likely tell you to bog off. I am sorry you (and the neighbourhood cats, and your cat) are suffering though. Not sure what you can do really. Asking them to neuter him can't do any harm. May not stop him being a big cat bully though.

Thank you. Yeah it's really difficult. They're nice people so I'd hope they might not be rude. But they could just say yeah, then not do it. I can't exactly do a bollock inspection on it. It literally looks like a giant version of Sylvester from the cartoons! 🙁

OP posts:
mbosnz · 14/08/2025 20:42

If they go to one of the animal welfare or cat charities, often they will cover all of the cost of a neutering barring a £10 contribution. That is how important it is to neuter your cat.

Their cat is far more likely to get injured in fights, hit by a car or taken for nefarious purposes while wandering to satisfy its territorial and sexual urges. If they love their cat, the best thing they can do is neuter it. If they love cats in general, the best thing they can do is neuter it, the mating experience for a female cat can be an unpleasant and traumatic one. If they want to maintain good neighbourly relations - the best thing they can do is neuter their cat!

Caterguin · 14/08/2025 20:42

Does it maybe depend when it was neutered? Or upbringing? Our semi feral rescue was roughly 4 months when we got him, then roughly 6 or so months when neutered. He always retained an air of rakishness and aggression.

The ones fostered from birth and neutered v young have always been soft as anything.

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:43

BrizzleMaverick · 14/08/2025 20:37

It may not stop him being aggressive. It’s more than likely that he has come in to a community of cats and as a male is trying to dominate.

why did they suddenly let it become an outdoor cat?

Thank you. Yeah, quite. It was locked indoors peering out the front window for two years, then suddenly let out. It's been trapped inside my house before when it snuck in!

They have a ridiculous bulky tracker collar on it which may have a camera?
But I bet they won't let me see the footage of it kicking shit out of everyone! X

OP posts:
YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/08/2025 20:44

Zov · 14/08/2025 20:00

Nonsense. To get a cat neutered (in the UK,) costs between £100 and £150. If they can't afford to pay for neutering their cat, they can't afford to keep the cat. What are they going to do if he needs veterinary care? That could cost 100s - or even 1000s of pounds. 'Can't afford it' is a rubbish excuse. They need to get this cat neutered!

Show quote history

er calm down love
its just a cat!

Smallgnomethingy · 14/08/2025 20:44

I had a neighbourhood cat neutered via Cats Protection League for similar reasons although it had been abandoned. I thought it would solve the general aggression problem.

He did become a massive softie with humans but unfortunately he still terrorised everyone’s cats.

It is defo worth checking though and offering to help if not.

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:46

Caterguin · 14/08/2025 20:42

Does it maybe depend when it was neutered? Or upbringing? Our semi feral rescue was roughly 4 months when we got him, then roughly 6 or so months when neutered. He always retained an air of rakishness and aggression.

The ones fostered from birth and neutered v young have always been soft as anything.

Thank you. Yeah, I'm not sure of it's background but it was fully grown when they got it. They've never owned a cat before this one or any other pets in the 30 years they've lived there. As far as I know. Maybe there's a rhinoceros in the basement? 🤣 X

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 14/08/2025 20:46

YANBU to tell them.

Then encourage anyone else who has suffered damage to property (yes this includes your own cats) to tell them as well.

When they are clearly aware of the injury/damage their cat is causing, they can actually be held liable for subsequent damage, and be asked to control their cat in various ways, including neutering and even, keeping it in.

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:50

Smallgnomethingy · 14/08/2025 20:44

I had a neighbourhood cat neutered via Cats Protection League for similar reasons although it had been abandoned. I thought it would solve the general aggression problem.

He did become a massive softie with humans but unfortunately he still terrorised everyone’s cats.

It is defo worth checking though and offering to help if not.

Thank you. I guess I could direct them to cats protection if there's a financial barrier to it. I don't think they have much money. Not like any of us do. At least one of them works though.

I hope it would stop the aggression to other cats. It's bloody fine with humans the furry fucker! X

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:51

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/08/2025 20:46

YANBU to tell them.

Then encourage anyone else who has suffered damage to property (yes this includes your own cats) to tell them as well.

When they are clearly aware of the injury/damage their cat is causing, they can actually be held liable for subsequent damage, and be asked to control their cat in various ways, including neutering and even, keeping it in.

Thanks very much. I think I will definitely approach them on it. It can't really carry on without causing some serious discord.

Could I ask who would enforce this liability to control the cat? Would it be the council? I know cats can't be controlled in the same way as dogs. Or maybe they can now? Thanks again. X

OP posts:
Caterguin · 14/08/2025 20:53

DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:46

Thank you. Yeah, I'm not sure of it's background but it was fully grown when they got it. They've never owned a cat before this one or any other pets in the 30 years they've lived there. As far as I know. Maybe there's a rhinoceros in the basement? 🤣 X

Show quote history

They may not be versed in the ways of cats then.
Our aggressive one was terrorised by a massive ginger cat when he was small, so I guess part of it could be learned behaviour from where it was before. Not that that helps you.

Can't the existing cats form some kind of avengers or justice league or something?

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:54

Caterguin · 14/08/2025 20:53

They may not be versed in the ways of cats then.
Our aggressive one was terrorised by a massive ginger cat when he was small, so I guess part of it could be learned behaviour from where it was before. Not that that helps you.

Can't the existing cats form some kind of avengers or justice league or something?

Show quote history

Haha. I wish they would. Strength in numbers! X

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 14/08/2025 20:54

There are two cats next door who are absolute bullies. They are male and female and both neutered.

It’s unreal how bold those fuckers are. My two are total wusses and are always running from them.

They’re cats. They’re just fighting for territory. There is no reason to suppose the cat is intact. Some cats are just douches.