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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the neighbours to neuter their cat?

42 replies

DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 19:49

Hoping for your valued opinions on this situation.

My next door neighbours acquired a cat about three years ago, fully grown and large male. They didn't allow it outside at all until about a year ago.

Since then all hell has broken loose in the cat community. There's my two, plus about three or four others on our small area, and it bullies all of them. We have a communal garden accessible from our back yards. Before this one turned up all was fine.

Now there's loud aggressive noises, fighting and the cat in question, let's call him Tosser, keeps coming onto my property and terrifying my cats. There are fights/hissing/shrieking etc regularly with mine and others.

Now today one of mine had to go to the vets due to a burst abcess caused by a fight with this cat. It cost me £175. The other neighbours cat had a similar injury a few weeks ago.

I think the cat must not be neutered. All the others round here are. Am I reasonable to ask them to neuter the cat? And tell them the cost of the treatment for the injury it caused? It also broke the top of my fence as it keeps coming into my property.

I feel upset as it costs so much and my poor cats are terrified. I'm not expecting them to pay my full vets bill for this incident. Just to neuter their own cat or care that it's causing so many problems.

Can I get them to control the cat (god knows how other than keep him in) or neutered or can I go down the legal route if there's more injuries?

I like this family and have no discord towards them. But I'm at my wits end with how their cat has taken over the area to the detriment of all the others. I also don't think they have that much money.

Any advice or opinions gladly received! X

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:56

mbosnz · 14/08/2025 20:42

If they go to one of the animal welfare or cat charities, often they will cover all of the cost of a neutering barring a £10 contribution. That is how important it is to neuter your cat.

Their cat is far more likely to get injured in fights, hit by a car or taken for nefarious purposes while wandering to satisfy its territorial and sexual urges. If they love their cat, the best thing they can do is neuter it. If they love cats in general, the best thing they can do is neuter it, the mating experience for a female cat can be an unpleasant and traumatic one. If they want to maintain good neighbourly relations - the best thing they can do is neuter their cat!

Definitely they should. Thank you x

OP posts:
Mustbethat · 14/08/2025 20:56

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/08/2025 20:46

YANBU to tell them.

Then encourage anyone else who has suffered damage to property (yes this includes your own cats) to tell them as well.

When they are clearly aware of the injury/damage their cat is causing, they can actually be held liable for subsequent damage, and be asked to control their cat in various ways, including neutering and even, keeping it in.

I very much doubt owners can be held accountable for injuries caused. How do you prove who started it? The injured cat may be the aggressor, the fight may have been with a squirrel.

presumbably the opposite is also true as well- if you’re letting your cat out knowing it’s likely to get injured and you don’t take steps to stop it, like keeping it in…

as far as I am aware in the uk cats have the right to roam and there is no liability.

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:57

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/08/2025 19:54

You’ve answered your own question…they don’t have much money

you can’t ‘tell’ them to do anything and how do you prove who injuried who between various roaming cats?

I don't have much money either. £170 less now.
I have less money than they do. I know I can't force them.

OP posts:
dogcatkitten · 14/08/2025 21:00

If it's a big dominant Tom neutering it now will probably make no difference even assuming he isn't neutered already. Some cats are just very territorial and want to be top dog so to speak, you might hope they neighbourhood cats would have come to some sort of an agreement but I would have thought they would have by now. Sounds like too many cats in a small area really. Not sure what to suggest apart from getting an even bigger cat to protect yours!

We had one huge stray un-neutered Tom that got taken in by our next door but one neighbour that was an absolute sweety, our much smaller neutered girl cats hated the poor thing and made his life a misery, he just wanted to be friendly, but they would chase him off mercilessly.

Chester23 · 14/08/2025 21:03

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/08/2025 20:44

er calm down love
its just a cat!

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It's just a cat.... not sure what you mean by that. No one should buy any animal if they can't afford to look after it properly, regardless of what animal it is.

mrsm43s · 14/08/2025 21:09

Honestly, the only thing you can do to ensure your cats won't get in fights is keep your cats in. If you choose not to do that, then I'm afraid you have to deal with (and pay for) the consequences of that choice.

Mustbethat · 14/08/2025 21:14

dogcatkitten · 14/08/2025 21:00

If it's a big dominant Tom neutering it now will probably make no difference even assuming he isn't neutered already. Some cats are just very territorial and want to be top dog so to speak, you might hope they neighbourhood cats would have come to some sort of an agreement but I would have thought they would have by now. Sounds like too many cats in a small area really. Not sure what to suggest apart from getting an even bigger cat to protect yours!

We had one huge stray un-neutered Tom that got taken in by our next door but one neighbour that was an absolute sweety, our much smaller neutered girl cats hated the poor thing and made his life a misery, he just wanted to be friendly, but they would chase him off mercilessly.

Edited

I had a cat like that. Big neutered deaf idiot who liked to sit in everyone’s way. Other cats took a huge dislike to him as he had no respect for cat territory rules. He was also very loud.

he got the blame for everything as any cat fight always involved him, so the assumption was he was starting it. In reality he’d be minding his own business, get in another cat’s way, a stand off would ensue and everyone knew it was him cos you could hear him! He just had no clue on how to avoid other cats.

Plinketyplonks · 14/08/2025 21:18

We’re in the same boat (in fact I posted about it here). Absolute thug of a tom cat from across the road terrorises my neutered sibling pair, our boy had a £450 vet bill from tail bite which got infected in June. Neighbour doesn’t answer the door. I wouldn’t shed a tear if thug cat wandered off - as Tom cats do - and got lost.

Peaceisenough · 14/08/2025 21:22

DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 20:40

Thank you. Yeah it's really difficult. They're nice people so I'd hope they might not be rude. But they could just say yeah, then not do it. I can't exactly do a bollock inspection on it. It literally looks like a giant version of Sylvester from the cartoons! 🙁

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It’ll be a tiger wearing a cat costume.

WorriedRelative · 14/08/2025 21:53

Do you know if they got him chipped? If not there would be no way of knowing he's not a stray...

Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 23:47

Peaceisenough · 14/08/2025 21:22

It’ll be a tiger wearing a cat costume.

Show quote history

Haha! It may as well be! 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 23:48

WorriedRelative · 14/08/2025 21:53

Do you know if they got him chipped? If not there would be no way of knowing he's not a stray...

Good point...

OP posts:
Original poster
DiscoBob · 14/08/2025 23:49

Plinketyplonks · 14/08/2025 21:18

We’re in the same boat (in fact I posted about it here). Absolute thug of a tom cat from across the road terrorises my neutered sibling pair, our boy had a £450 vet bill from tail bite which got infected in June. Neighbour doesn’t answer the door. I wouldn’t shed a tear if thug cat wandered off - as Tom cats do - and got lost.

Ah, no that's awful. Your poor cats x

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 15/08/2025 03:41

Mustbethat · 14/08/2025 20:56

I very much doubt owners can be held accountable for injuries caused. How do you prove who started it? The injured cat may be the aggressor, the fight may have been with a squirrel.

presumbably the opposite is also true as well- if you’re letting your cat out knowing it’s likely to get injured and you don’t take steps to stop it, like keeping it in…

as far as I am aware in the uk cats have the right to roam and there is no liability.

Show quote history

Cats do have the right to roam, but where it can be shown the cat is causing a problem, the owners are aware of that and still choose to let the cat roam... yes, they absolutely can be held liable.

I've had several cases where my clients cats have been super stressed as a result of a really domineering tom coming in through catflaps and open windows to scent mark in their homes and fight them, another common trick is for the offending cat to sit at the cat flap (inside or out!) and prevent the resident cat entering/leaving.

Usually pet cams will prove the problem - cat coming in, fighting, spraying up stuff, knocking stuff over etc.

I've also heard of several incidents where the offending cat has been caught on Ring doorbell type cams.

For fights that occur out on the street, no there is less chance of catching the offender and proving he is the offender.

BedZeppelin · 15/08/2025 07:12

Personally I think there should be a law on owning cats and having them neutered/spayed as it is. They often have better health outcomes if they are done and rescue centres are full to bursting. I have two house cats but they are still both 'done'. As a pp said, if you cant afford to save for £100 to get the op then you cant afford their jabs or health care or to buy them decent food. That is not a fair life for that animal.

NamelessNancy · 15/08/2025 07:16

grumpygrape · 14/08/2025 20:27

If they kept an unneutered Tom in their house for 2 years it would smell for miles away.

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Exactly what I came on to say! Neutered cats can be scrappers too. That said if he really IS unneutered neighbour is being very irresponsible.

Original poster
DiscoBob · 15/08/2025 10:58

Thank you so much everyone for your posts. It's been really helpful.

The horrible cat in question actually has this ridiculous bulky tracker collar, I think it must have a camera on it. So the only people that would have footage of the incident are the perps!

I guess I could ask them to let me see the camera? I just really don't even know them that well. The 'head of the household' is a lad who looks about 14, but is probably more like 20. The mum doesn't speak English at all. They are nice people though. So I'm going to have to say something aren't I?

It's true that cats are a law unto themselves to an extent, but I honestly just wish they'd just re-home that big fucker!

My boy is recovering well. Hiding behind the couch though still, poor sausage.

Thank you again for taking the time to read and reply xx

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