Do managers ever just tell someone to crack on anymore?

[Havesomecommonsense]

I have a really nice workplace. BUT I'm getting a bit fed up with management taking every little comment and tackling it when actually a bit of filtering or common sense is needed:
Recent examples :
A member of staff came in and brought doughnuts, left a sign on them in the staff room saying help yourself. Later in the day, my colleague came out with a doughnut and said "there's doughnuts in there" bit later, I went in, 2 colleagues were in there and I said " I heard there was doughnuts"
Next day my manager talks to me and doughnuts lady and says that one of the members of staff felt left out as when I said I heard there was doughnuts, I'd clearly been part of something they weren't as they only discovered the doughnuts when they went in the staffroom. We explained and my manager was fine but then said to doughnut lady that next time she should go round the office telling everyone so no one felt left out.
This is mental. Why didn't manager say that nothing in that situation is abnormal?
There are other examples but tbh I don't know if I can be bothered to type them out as they seem so trivial. But why is manager trying to alleviate anyone feeling anything other than joyful? It's like any fleeting normal emotion is someone else's problem to solve
Anyone sympathise?
Ps before all the performative lot come on here and say
Why are you all eating doughnuts instead of working in silence. Sounds awful, I'd hate to chat to my Co workers and have snacks, you're there to work.
We are a normal workplace just like all the others , only on MN is work like the white cubicles in Severance

I completely disagree the manager needed to deal with it. It feels like gentle parenting - some feelings don't need validated. My manager can be be a people pleaser and I actually feel like it achieves the opposite, pleasing one person at a time but not thinking of the detrimental effect on everyone else. It's a small thing that would really piss me off if I'd brought in the doughnuts. If the doughnut bringer inner is offended by the manager's response, why is that less valid than the original complainers feelings?

Gosh, toes could be curling with all of you if you heard the comments from where i work! To date, it is one of the most misogynistic, old fashioned work places I have ever worked so much so that people are screened who apply for vacancies here to see if they would actually have thick enough skin and yes I'm well aware that we could be hauled in front of a tribunal at any time (the directors are always on tender hooks over this but it will never change until the MD passes away)

You are not being unreasonable. You have a manager problem. Sadly, I think this is more commonplace now than it was say 15 years ago. The person I supervise recently complained about me because instead of reviewing the document and typing the amendments in an email for her to type up, I thought I’d save us both some time so I track changed the document, then sent a very polite email attaching the track change document.

Apparently, this affront was too much to bear, so she complained to my manager who brought it to my attention. I told my manager and no uncertain terms this was entirely inappropriate behaviour. She sort of folded and agreed with me and basically batted the junior person back to their place. But I was very shocked she thought it was appropriate to bring this to me and not immediately batted the junior down.

I’ve also heard similar stories to yours, about a colleague going out to lunch looking around the room and offering if anyone else wanted anything. They missed one person so the missed person then raised to complain about him. People are utterly pathetic. I think your manager is the one who was out of line here.

Took all of 2 minutes - they had a distribution list.

You know, a lot of places are quite laid back especially where someone provided treats is concerned.

before all the performative lot come on here This pre-emptive aggressive comment makes me think that there could be more going on, would be interesting to hear the other side's version. Don't envy the manager!

Putting stuff in staff room for staff to find when they go in is standard in my workplace.

But then I work with adults who don’t feel finding out at 11.04am that Mary discovered donuts at 10.59am as a thing that needs complaining about.

They’d be there by 11.05am picking their snack

I can't believe a grown woman would be running to management whining about being left out of donut distribution. Is she four? Bloody hell.

What I find astounding is the person who thought it normal to go to management to complain. I'd worry about their critical thinking skills and wonder if they were mature enough to be employed in a profession. No self-awareness.

If I were the manager I’d be wondering why on earth we’d employed such a fucking snowflake!

Felt left out? are they two years old?
This is why I'm not a manager; I'd say things like that to a staff member who came to me with that kind of shite.

We have a nominated share table in the staff room if somethings on the table it’s up for grabs, can be fruit from someone’s garden, home baking or cakes / sweets bought back from holiday, even non food items like gifted toiletries that someone doesn’t like after Christmas. No announcements necessary sometimes, there’s only 1 of an item available, 1 moaning person could spoil such a good thing for everyone.

On the flip side, our boss bought donuts and left them in the bigger office next door. When I went to get one (ironically for the boss not myself as I was passing that way anyway and i dont like donuts....) the big office bitches told me off as those donuts belonged to them 🙄.

Had to return to boss and explain she wasn't allowed a donut and she hit the roof with the bitches and boss now always send a quick email round if communal goodies are available.

But that's the point

You don't know there isn't a backstory. You don't know how it was reported. You don't know who reported it

We have had an issue with a member of staff who would do a variety of very minor issues that slowly but surely pissed everyone else off. Snide comments, doing the bare minimum which meant we had extra to catch up on, white lies, falling out with staff... each one was reported but wasn't deemed enough of a problem to handle. It caused tension on the team and some felt the managers weren't listening

Until she full on had a go at new starter for something she hadn't taught them to do, left them doing the work and buggered off and she was finally dealt with

Small, seemingly insignificant issues can be a part of a much bigger issue that being ignored can lead to further reaching issues...

All the people saying the manager must be a total pushover, really wet, people pleaser, etc - I'm sure some of the staff I manage think that about me. What they don't know - because it's none of their business - is that I'm implementing policy as HR have advised me to in order to meet the needs of a staff member with a declared disability. Whether it's how I personally want to handle it - or how I would handle it if it were someone in my personal life behaving like that - is irrelevant.

Not at all, just been on MN long enough to know that this happens

Jesus H Christ. This is why I can no longer bear to work in an office

Yeah, it sounds like the work of a compo queen. 'I had to leave, they didn't tell me about the doughnuts, waaah!' then try for constructive dismissal.
You may laugh but a former colleague of mine tried this on. Reality was, she was an idle woman who didn't want to do any work.