Do managers ever just tell someone to crack on anymore?

[Havesomecommonsense]

I have a really nice workplace. BUT I'm getting a bit fed up with management taking every little comment and tackling it when actually a bit of filtering or common sense is needed:
Recent examples :
A member of staff came in and brought doughnuts, left a sign on them in the staff room saying help yourself. Later in the day, my colleague came out with a doughnut and said "there's doughnuts in there" bit later, I went in, 2 colleagues were in there and I said " I heard there was doughnuts"
Next day my manager talks to me and doughnuts lady and says that one of the members of staff felt left out as when I said I heard there was doughnuts, I'd clearly been part of something they weren't as they only discovered the doughnuts when they went in the staffroom. We explained and my manager was fine but then said to doughnut lady that next time she should go round the office telling everyone so no one felt left out.
This is mental. Why didn't manager say that nothing in that situation is abnormal?
There are other examples but tbh I don't know if I can be bothered to type them out as they seem so trivial. But why is manager trying to alleviate anyone feeling anything other than joyful? It's like any fleeting normal emotion is someone else's problem to solve
Anyone sympathise?
Ps before all the performative lot come on here and say
Why are you all eating doughnuts instead of working in silence. Sounds awful, I'd hate to chat to my Co workers and have snacks, you're there to work.
We are a normal workplace just like all the others , only on MN is work like the white cubicles in Severance

I had absolutely no idea when I was starting out in the workplace, that being noticeably chattier with my friend, who also worked there, was leading another person to feel left out. We needed to make an effort to tone it down, and draw the other person in, because it was a professional environment.

The problem with workplace exclusion is that it’s all petty, tiny, often thoughtless stuff, and not necessarily caused by any ill intent. In the adult work world, there is an onus on everyone to contribute positively to the work environment. But we learn survival strategies for school and carry them on through adulthood.

If someone had complained about feeling excluded, the manager might have just seized on the recent, concrete example of the doughnuts.

.

The manager has to be seen to be doing something if a member of staff in their care makes a complaint. I think this says a lot more about the member of staff who actually went to the manager over doughnuts, and I’d be giving them a wide berth I think as they are obviously fragile (which means very likely to misinterpret any tiny thing I say or do).

Shit like this disgusts me to my absolute core. What a fucking wet wipe that woman is and your manager is a fanny. I’d have laughed- it’s the only suitable response. Laugh and nod and say “alright”, then laugh again.

Oh this is bonkers. Your manager needs to find more actual work to do.
It's a communal space - people are kind and bring in snacks, holiday treats etc. This happens at our place too. First come, first served. Often the comments are 'oh, who's been to X on holidays?' but we've never had someone complaining that they were left out!
If it's something special like wedding cake, that gets put at reception and an email goes round (generally with a photo of happy couple) and everyone heads there and forms an orderly queue.

Yeah totally agree with those saying the manager has to be seen to do something.
As a thought experiment though , at what point is mine and doughnut lady's mental health considered. What if being spoken to by a manager triggered us? What if the person saying they didn't know about the doughnuts made me feel so bad that I now feel excluded?
It could go on and on.
Manager is not horrible, and obviously bound by the need to do something. But I do think a bit of common sense would work in this situation.
There was nothing nefarious here . Colleague dumped doughnuts with note (no need to email as small office)
Later, a different colleague walks past enjoying doughnut and says they are in the staff room
That's it

That would drive me nuts.

I honestly think a workplace where this sort of thing is policed is one where people don't have enough work to do. And I speak as a manager.

Yes the colleague is pathetic.

Yup, it doesn't say much for the overall atmosphere in your workplace if you've now got people who won't do a kind thing because of getting backlash about it.
I think they were out of order hauling you in about it, you got an almighty splash from that puddle. It clearly is bothering you, it would bother me too, but I don't know if I would do anything about it. Depends on your manager and how much you want to make them squirm.

totally pathetic and i would be embarrassed for them

If anyone spoke to me about doughnut inclusivity, there would be no more communal doughnuts from me. I would rather eat them all myself, than pander to that shit.

To be fair to my manager, we weren't hauled in. We were asked to drop by and see her together .
We were both a bit baffled and did eye roll each other later. Tbh me and doughnut lady are not even that close. She's nice but I have closer work colleagues. It really is a fuss about nothing

lmao. There’s no way I’d have ‘the donut conversation’. How embarrassing.

The colleague that moaned is the problem. How pathetic. Someone did a nice thing. It'll just stop people bringing things in.

The person who complained is a dick

I agree but why can't managers say "oh no, I don't think that, there was a note on and plenty of doughnuts. Nothing to see here , move on"

In the 2020s Managers are more aware that any hint of exclusion can result in a grievance from a staff member. So your donut issue is one I would have very mildly addressed. I agree it cannot sometimes feel like you are not dealing with a grown up workforce, but grievances and potentially tribunals are hugely time consuming.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Management should have told the complainer to stop wasting their time.

No wonder we have a productivity issue if management give this the time of day.

In a few years' time, this episode will be in the annals of history at your workplace as 'doughnutgate'.
A new colleague will innocently ask why no-one ever brings in snacks etc and the reply will be 'oh it's because of doughnutgate...'

The one that complained is a bit silly, manager had to respond somehow but I think telling them its a non issue and doughnut lady didn't intend to leave anyone out would have been better. No one should be complaining about something free that someone did to be nice.

At my workplace the treats brought in are mostly boxes of liquorice, which I can't eat because they have gluten in. I wouldn't dream of complaining to my boss about that, I just thank people very nicely when they do bring in something gluten free.

Triggered by doughnuts! Thank God this kind of petty nonsense didn’t happen when I managed a team.

The advice from HR in the situation where someone feels ‘excluded’ would have been to ‘speak to the team about how we are an inclusive workplace’, regardless if how the complaint came about (or how ridiculous it is!) The manager had to tick a box, they also probably had to document it and file it with HR…as per pp above, it’s all about being able to prove the company did everything they could when the ‘stress’ absences start and the complainer pursues an unfair dismissal/discrimination claim. Manager will be fully aware of how daft it is!

That is ridiculous. Who has time for that nonsense. Whoever made the complaint needs a shake and the manager shouldn’t have given it the time of day.

I wonder if your manager has actually thought that pandering to this ridiculousness is actually unfair on you? Because you and donut person are now being accused of excluding people when actually the intention behind it was kind and generous.

I consider myself a sensitive person but I find this very petty.

Do some of these people need more actual work to do?