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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn’t get job

217 replies

tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:27

I’ve been working as a temp for one company for over a year. They’ve been very happy with my work, giving me a lot of good feedback. A few people (including the manager) have said they would really like me to be on permanent staff as I do a great job.

Anyway, a few months ago a perm role came up, which was essentially my role to the letter. Having had the good feedback I decided to apply as felt I had a very good chance.

As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, I didn’t get the job. I’m now feeling like my confidence has been shot and my manager was just leading me on.

The new person has now started and seems fine but no better than me at the job. Worse still, I’ve been asked to help them out if they have any questions about how to do the job that I’ve been doing for over a year.

The result is that a job I used to look forward to every day has now left me feeling deflated and upset. I now dread work and generally just feel my confidence has been shattered.

AIBU and WWYD?

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 13/08/2025 22:31

It’s always particularly disappointing when you don’t get a job that you feel you’ve been set up for. You aren’t unreasonable to feel as you do.

Perhaps do some research and see what is out there, whilst continuing where you are at the moment.

youalright · 13/08/2025 22:31

Im sorry thats really shit I don't think i could stay after that

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 13/08/2025 22:33

That's really tough. I think if I were you I'd take all the experience you've gained there, and use it to apply for other jobs which are wiling to offer you more stability.
Leave with your head held high OP.

Seagullslanding · 13/08/2025 22:33

I'm so sorry. I've seen this happen to others. Basically, they know you are reliable, good at your job, and as you have been there a year, not likely to go anywhere else.

So...by not giving you the role..they still have you. Plus they have someone else they like as well.

Is there anyway you could start looking elsewhere, or is there a way you could drop subtle hints that you are looking to move.

Jumbojem · 13/08/2025 22:34

Did you ask for feedback as to why you were unsuccessful? To be honest I think id look for something else asap as I would feel as you do, upset and not valued.

TimeForTeaAndG · 13/08/2025 22:37

Sometimes internal jobs are harder to get as you forget to actually tell them all the good stuff in the interview that "they already know".

Did they give feedback?

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:38

Thanks all. What I just can’t get my head around is why they bothered giving me all the good feedback - to the extent they wanted me on the team, and then went and hired an unknown.

OP posts:
MJ1980 · 13/08/2025 22:39

Taking the piss asking you to deal with the new recruit knowing full well it must sting not getting the job. Did you ask for feedback on why you didnt get it? If not, do ask so it can make you a stronger candidate next time.

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:40

Yes, I got feedback (after requesting it) and it was just a minor issue that I’ve already resolved. In other words, something they could have raised ages ago but never did. So presumably not that critical.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:42

I just feel devastated as like I say, I used to love going into work every day and now I have this pit of dread in my stomach - firstly because I have to sit opposite the manager who rejected me, and secondly because I’m expected to help the new person settle into the role I’ve been doing for over a year.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 13/08/2025 22:42

I trust you will be pleasant, but not overly helpful, and that you are looking for a permanent job elsewhere. I think disadvantaging an existing temporary employee in this way should be against employment law. The newbie will have minor faults.

Leaningcactus · 13/08/2025 22:43

I'd start looking for another job. It's not a nice position to be in. Use the experience you have and try for something else.

Lafufufu · 13/08/2025 22:46

It's so shit and I imagine it also feels really personal.

No advice other than update your CV and get looking...

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:46

Thanks. It’s a real shame because I was so enthusiastic about the job, gave it my all and genuinely looked forward to work every day. I worked unpaid overtime on fairly regular occasions because I just wanted to do the best for the company. Now I’m feeling “Sunday blues” for the first time in ages, and have anxiety and a sense of dread going into the office.

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 13/08/2025 22:47

I had a temp staff member who was really good at the job and in this situation. She was awful at interviews and went to pieces, forgetting everything she did on a day to day basis. Her interview scores were too low to appoint her and she had so many goes at applying every time we had a vacancy, plus lots of feedback and we even sat with her to do interview coaching. We tried really hard to support her but in the end we just couldn’t give someone a job without passing the interview process.
The crazy thing was she was interviewed for the temp role and was the top scoring candidate so she’d done it before. HR wouldn’t let us passport that interview score over, as it was a FTC, although we did try!
Just because you weren’t appointed doesn’t mean you’re not valued. Ask for feedback and try again if it’s a good company and role.

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:50

@YetanotherNC25 I understand that some companies are like that (but no offence, I also think it’s a terrible way to recruit!) but where I work isn’t. There isn’t a rigid box-ticking exercise at interview. So that makes it feel even more upsetting in a sense - it feels more personal.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:53

If I was an employer I would take the person who had done the role to a proven high standard (with excellent feedback) over a random person every time. I understand some places of work are just about box-ticking (like the civil service), but mine definitely isn’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:54

Think I repeated myself a bit there. I’m just so upset and tired.

OP posts:
AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 13/08/2025 22:55

YANBU, and I'd leave. If you are temping it should be at most one week's notice.

They can train up the new employee if they're so fucking good over you.

YetanotherNC25 · 13/08/2025 23:05

I understand you’re upset and you’re right to be if you’ve had good feedback. But a recruitment process isn’t always about box ticking. It’s about demonstrating the competency to perform the role. We’re not civil service but we also can’t give people jobs without a process that demonstrates their suitability. It leaves any organisation open to risks around favouritism, affecting culture and opening them up to claims for unfair recruitment practices. Given the ability to take prospective employers to tribunal, we have to demonstrate to all applicants that a fair process was followed and we didn’t just hand a job to a mate over a candidate who say has a protected characteristic and a higher score at interview. We’d have no defensible documentation to defend a tribunal claim if that happened.

It may not feel fair when you’re not appointed but process is there for good reasons. Stay or go, it’s up to you, but don’t get cross at the person who was appointed. None of this is their fault.

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 23:08

don’t get cross at the person who was appointed. None of this is their fault.

I’m not cross at them but I do feel resentful of my manager. He scribbled down about three things during the interview, so it didn’t exactly seem like a rigorous process where they were having to adhere to strict criteria or anything.

OP posts:
Lafufufu · 13/08/2025 23:13

Honestly, have a cry feel all your feelings then move onto the next thing.
From now on paid hours only, you're a contractor act like one.
Use the extra time to do your CV and get applying

Original poster
tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 23:13

To add: I may not have been the most charismatic or confident at interview, but I feel I gave some good answers. If it’s solely on box ticking (which my company isn’t) that feels like a mad way to hire people. It’s basically taking on someone who can talk the talk at interview over someone who’s done the actual job (and got great feedback) for over a year. Maybe I’m being stupid or naive, but I still don’t understand it. If I was an employer I’d choose the latter every single time.

OP posts:
Enough4me · 13/08/2025 23:22

OP is it possible you didn't sell yourself at interview?
Having interviewed in my last job I saw people often undersold themselves. For example, referred to the team effort rather than individual, had examples but under-played their role.
The worst interviewee wasn't one I interviewed but colleagues did. She'd worked temporarily for the department and had lots of positive examples but at interview she said very little of substance. She was interviewed multiple times but couldn't pretend they didn't know her. She needed to provide and describe examples of her strengths and knowledge but expected them to fill in because, "they know me".

TesChique · 13/08/2025 23:23

Youre going round in circles OP. In your shoes id have a frank, candid chat with the hiring manager, asking for actionable feedback as to why i didnt secure the role i had been doing for a year and how i now feel. Id also update my CV