Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Still stuck in a rut

5 replies

Tiredhungovermummy · 13/08/2025 15:44

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5255801-friendship-has-arrived-at-a-dead-end?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

so following on from this post in January, I still feel irritated/bereaved/ostracised.

Since this post we’ve had one meet up, which was a late birthday lunch for me. Friend told me there were severe complications with the IVF and it was unlikely both she and baby would survive, they were suing the hospital for negligence etc etc but baby was growing as it should be, meeting all pregnancy milestones it should meet. I felt terrible to start with. Then I started to think about it all logically and I think she was lying realised it’s out of my control if she didn’t want to share things with me and not to take it personally.
She said they were taking each day as it comes but weren’t discussing names as were so worried. I offered to organise a very low key get together, for afternoon tea, with her closest friends or anything she wanted to do, she said she was too busy (this was in march, baby due may) and didn’t have much time. However maybe she and I could meet up, but not to include anyone else as her friends were all busy….(a lot of them are SAHM, WFH in family businesses etc). So I said great, let me know a date you’re free over the Easter hols as I work in a school, so can be very flexible on days/times etc.
Didn’t hear from her again.
In May, heard on the grape vine, she had had her baby, they were home the next day, all well.
A week later she sent me a message to tell me “x has arrived, very traumatic but my amazing surgeon saved us both” with photos of them all out walking with the pram. (Don’t know many people out walking a week post birth after surgical intervention but 🤷🏼‍♀️). During this time of her not speaking to me I found out I was pregnant, a happy surprise. However, at 9 weeks I suffered a miscarriage. On the day she messaged me I was due to have my 12 week scan, so I was all over the place. I just replied congrats, glad you’re both ok and left it. Haven’t heard anything since.

I feel like sht. Like I’ve been treated like sht but also I feel wracked with guilt for some reason.

Please someone slap me or give me some words of wisdom to help me move on.

also thanks for getting this far!

Friendship has arrived at a dead end. | Mumsnet

Please bear with, this is a long post! The friend in question I have been good friends with for over 20 years. She is GM to my DD, was a bridesmaid a...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5255801-friendship-has-arrived-at-a-dead-end

OP posts:
Monster6 · 13/08/2025 16:07

I think your friend is a frame queen to start with, and things had cooled naturally before babies, and had there not been these life events you maybe would have just lost touch eventually. A week after arrival is not a ‘close friend’ timescale. What exactly did you write? It’s probs not too dismissive it’s just how you’re feeling? Did you send a card? Sorry about your loss. 💕

Monster6 · 13/08/2025 16:07

Drama queen!!!

Monster6 · 13/08/2025 16:09

Op just read the original thread!!! Jeezo move on from this woman, she’s a user. 🤨

Tiredhungovermummy · 13/08/2025 20:34

Monster6 · 13/08/2025 16:07

I think your friend is a frame queen to start with, and things had cooled naturally before babies, and had there not been these life events you maybe would have just lost touch eventually. A week after arrival is not a ‘close friend’ timescale. What exactly did you write? It’s probs not too dismissive it’s just how you’re feeling? Did you send a card? Sorry about your loss. 💕

I sent a card saying congratulations etc but no gift. When she messaged me I said literally just that. Glad you’re both ok etc but didn’t ask any questions as didn’t want to get into new born baby convo when I was heartbroken over my own loss

OP posts:
Tiredhungovermummy · 13/08/2025 20:35

Monster6 · 13/08/2025 16:09

Op just read the original thread!!! Jeezo move on from this woman, she’s a user. 🤨

I’m really trying too. Just finding it so hard and am taking it really personally

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread