We were right not to give dd a lift weren't we? feel like a cow today

[malificent7]

Dd is 17. Dosn't drive yet. It was dhs bday yesterday...We both had a glass of strong dessert wine. At 9.30pm dd announced she wanted to go to a local pub to see friends...could I give her a lift?
I was reluctant as ;
Was dhs bday and wanted to relax.
We had both drunk ( under limit but still.)
Was very last minute and she was still faffing at 10pm.
I have to get up at 5.30am so need an early night.
I drive a 1.5 hr vommute there and bk waxh day. 3 hours in total.
I feel bad today as I can be awkward aboit lifts. I do them but not if im tired. I have a long commute.
Dh ( step dad) is lovely and does lots of lifts but I didnt wantt him to after a drink and it being his bday.
Dd sats she dosn't mind...why do I feel so bad?

My parents never ever gave me or my siblings lifts, anywhere. My dad in particular was selfish and self centred.

My dad never gave me or my siblings lifts either. He was not selfish and self centred. Selfish and self centred would have been us expecting him to spend his free time ferrying us around.

He spent a lot time driving in his working life, he sometimes liked a glass of wine with his dinner, and none of us saw any reason why he should spend his evenings and weekends driving us around to places we were perfectly capable of getting to and from on our own. Or if we couldn't, we didn't go.

@HonoriaBulstrode

that’s great, @HonoriaBulstrode

I’m glad your dad was not self or self centred. Mine was. Well done you.

I think there should be much more campaigning around how you shouldn’t drive tired - it absolutely does kill.

I also think you might have been over the limit. I personally don’t drive after any amount of alcohol.

I think a last minute request for a lift is a big thing, esp at 9.30 at night - it means you can’t start relaxing or winding down until you’ve given said lift. Dd needs to realise these lifts to the pub are a big deal. Also - she’s 17 so surely shouldn’t be drinking anyway- so can very much drive there once she passes.

When I was a teen we lived rurally and my parents would have taken a dim view of being asked for a lift once I was able to drive so that I could have a drink on a night out unless a special occasion (and by extension they therefore couldn’t) m.