To not understand the obsession with doing medicine

[SharpHazelDeer]

My dd is 17 in the second last year of high school. She goes to an all girls' private school so I don't know if this is part of the reason why, but at least a quarter of her grade wants to study medicine when they graduate.

dd gets decent grades so she often gets asked if she wants to do medicine. When she says no she usually gets a shocked expression and sometimes people even ask her if she has given up. This really shouldn't be about race, but people are somehow under the assumption her dad (who is asian, so she is half asian) wants her to do medicine. In reality her dad doesn't care what she does as long as she does something constructive to whatever life she wants for herself.

I genuinely don't understand where these comments are coming from and they are making dd question if she should try for medicine but she knows she's not interested in being a physician.

I went to that type of school 40 years ago. Nearly a quarter of my year became doctors. They are desperately trying to present other options - they have asked me to talk a few times and my job is not at all standard - but those girls are still subject to the aims of their parents, a lot of whom are....doctors.

Really you have to look at this as an opportunity in learning how to firmly plough your own furrow. I almost perfected that at school. In just one exception I allowed myself to be put off my first choice of topic at university - forensic science - because at the time no really good university offered the course. They may have been right - it certainly has nothing to do with that I do now (organisational behaviour specialist and coach). But other than that one steer, I learned how to put my foot down, gently but firmly, and that was good learning for life. So all they are really doing is offering your DD a valuable learning opportunity - how to say no without causing an upset.

I went to that type of school 40 years ago. Nearly a quarter of my year became doctors. They are desperately trying to present other options - they have asked me to talk a few times and my job is not at all standard - but those girls are still subject to the aims of their parents, a lot of whom are....doctors.

Really you have to look at this as an opportunity in learning how to firmly plough your own furrow. I almost perfected that at school. In just one exception I allowed myself to be put off my first choice of topic at university - forensic science - because at the time no really good university offered the course. They may have been right - it certainly has nothing to do with that I do now (organisational behaviour specialist and coach). But other than that one steer, I learned how to put my foot down, gently but firmly, and that was good learning for life. So all they are really doing is offering your DD a valuable learning opportunity - how to say no without causing an upset.

It used to be a pretty prestigious career and still can be if you go into something like surgery or work in private practice. But I know a lot of Drs (kids at private school) and they aren’t particularly well off - they’re comfortable but it’s nothing like it used to be.

It is obviously a tough job both mentally and academically but the balance between work and pay just isn’t there.

Saying that, one family is very wealthy but the dad is a top neuroscientist so presumably pretty niche. The people I know who are GPs or work in hospitals are ok but not rich rich, especially when you look at the hours they do.
And medics are paid better here (Australia) than under the NHS.

We are in Australia too!

push

There is an all girls grammar near me. We went to sixth form open evening and the vast majority of girls went into the medical field in some form - medicine, opthalmology, dentistry, vet etc etc.

its probably an 85% Asian school. I think a lot is lead by parents.

it was one of the things that made my daughter decide against it as she’s a humanities girl and she wasn’t sure she would get the support.

Part of why this annoys me is the assumption based on race; I personally don't think career choice should be influenced by race.

It must be annoying if it's an assumption based on race. But it's good that many (of whatever race) are opting for medical careers given the very heavy demand for medical doctors, especially in rural and remote areas.

I think medicine has always been a very well-respected career, and until recently in the UK was regarded as highly secure and decently paid.

I am thinking about this a lot at the moment as I have a dd who wants to do medicine. We don’t have Asian heritage, but I think there has always been that cliche that Asian parents want/expect their children to have a career that has that security and commands that kind of respect. As an Asian friend of mine put it - ‘my parents wanted me to be a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. Anything else was viewed with suspicion.’ 😂

As I said, it’s a cliche… but there is an element of truth in it I suppose.

Off topic but my eldest dd who has just done a-levels (not for medicine - that’s her younger sister) is at a very academic london private. Every year the number of people applying for medicine drops - I think this year it’s only 3 or 4, when 10 years ago it would have been around 20 at least. A teacher said that’s down to 2 things - a greater understanding of the difficult challenges this career brings, and that a lot of doctors tend to ‘breed more doctors’ - and they are now becoming priced out of the private system 😩

I mean, I can understand why it’s suggested.
Doctors once qualified can work for themselves and work pretty much anywhere. It offers quite a bit of flexibility for women if they want to become mothers and work part time. Also it’s quite common doctors marry doctors. Studying medicine means she will be mingling with matches that are as intelligent and ambitious as she is.

My DD is very academic (all 9’s at GCsE) and is asked this a lot (she is also mixed race asian / white). The answer is no, she doesn’t want to do it. She will go down a finance career route. I think with medicine, it’s a calling and you really need to want to do it. It’s also mega competitive, I see that from the uni group’s i’m in.

My dd wants to do speech pathology. She is starting to find all those questions and reactions to medicine pretty annoying.

In Ireland and in our school this was a thing, it was assumed if you were top of the class you wanted to do medecine. It wasn’t a race thing (the few girls who were top were white Irish). Two of them wanted to be doctors since they were children but I always thought it was so weird to try to press it onto the others- it definitely seems like a profession you’d have to really want to do given the pressure, stress and the things you’d be seeing and doing!!

She could just say she isn't great with blood and doesn't want to be responsible for life of death decisions.

When I was at school I was quite keen on the idea of medicine but I did work experience at a hospital and didn’t enjoy it at all. I enjoyed the surgery/pathology part but I just didn’t like interacting with the sick people. Sounds awful, but better I found that out before I did years of study.

I ended up doing law and working in medical negligence so that was a good compromise.

I think people advise/push on the basis of what they understand about a career path. Medicine, from the outside, can look like a very straightforward early career path: good A levels, medicine degree, trainee doctor, qualify, live comfortably ever after.

It looks like a 'safe' career option from the outside. There is also the perception that it is a good career option for women as it is perceived as being easier for women to take career breaks for starting a family.

Of course no one ever talks about men choosing careers which will allow breaks to spend time raising children, funny that.

You used to see the same with accountancy and law but these seem to have fallen out of fashion. Not perceived as worthy enough? For some reason women's careers are supposed to be worthy rather than financially rewarding.

Yeah it must get annoying. I guess it’s this age old belief if you’re very academic you’ll study medicine. But plenty of careers out there. I think for women too, if you do want DC (not sure if my DD does or not) medicine is difficult once you’ve got to factor in childcare for shifts etc. Not saying women shouldn’t become doctors, but as someone who has spent the last 30yrs navigating childcare, I couldn’t have worked a job with shifts.

As I said, it’s a cliche… but there is an element of truth in it I suppose.

This. I'm Asian and it's always been Law, Medicine, Accountancy or Business in my family. My siblings and I who ended up in Banking, Business owner, Accountancy and Law were seen as the successes. The one who worked in Admin....well not so much.
Private practice medicine, particularly in plastic surgery/beauty aesthetic treatments, is still verylucrative.

I would say it's not all Asian as my husband do not share the same beliefs

I don’t understand the keenness -let alone nursing - not in our NHS. Imagine months of wait for a patient you’re worried about just to get a scan etcetc

I went to that type of school (I'm now I'm my 40s).

I wanted to study biology, chemistry and geography at A Level and was called into the Headmistresses' office, who tried to talk me into switching out geography for physics as it was "such a shame I wasnt studying the 3 sciences".

I was from a working class background, there on an 'assisted place', and the first person in my entire extended family to go to university. Mum was DESPERATE for me to be a doctor.

I actually work in business development. Mum isn't aware that it's a career where you can earn as much as a doctor (I'm well paid), but I don't think she's ever quite gotten over it.

I think some people consider doctors to be this super race of human being! I know a couple and they're no brighter than anyone else - they were just very driven to achieve that singular goal.

Why are you so upset about this?

She's 17 and wants to do speech pathology, shes hardly breaking the mould, Why wouldn't people ask whether she's doing medicine?

Do you secretly wish she WERE?

No I'm just curious and respectfully that was kind of rude of you to say

I am surprised any doctors would want their children (particularly their daughters) to go into medicine - perhaps those that do reached their consultant/GP/private practice level a few years back.
It can be a wonderful career if that is your passion but the working evenings, nights and weekends, multiple post graduate exams, changing jobs every three to six months, moving round the region/country and that is if you are lucky/skilled enough to get that all important training number (yes lucky because you may be a good applicant but all depends on the number of training vacancies that year and number of applications in the region)

Yes it is difficult in any career to get a job but at least you don't have to reapply every three years