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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the middle class complain more than the poor or rich?

66 replies

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:18

The poor just get on with surviving, the rich are cushioned but the middle class moan endlessly about everything from schools to holidays. AIBU?

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 12/08/2025 15:23

It's how we/they keep their elbows pointy 🙂

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 15:27

Maybe!

Who qualifies as the poor’, and who are ‘the middle class’ and who are ‘the rich’, according to you?

northernballer · 12/08/2025 15:30

It's because the media make the.middle class feel they're funding everything and receiving nothing in return.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 15:41

Give context

Or are you a journalist?

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:47

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 15:41

Give context

Or are you a journalist?

No, just someone capable of forming an opinion without needing a press pass.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 12/08/2025 15:48

Another one of these threads!

you really need to define ‘middle class’ because there is a bracket of people that others think are having a jolly but in reality all the ‘benefits’ they lose, and the tax, NI, student loans they pay makes their finances pretty dire in the end

grizzlyoldbear · 12/08/2025 15:49

Probably

MidnightPatrol · 12/08/2025 15:51

Everyone is complaining at all income levels.

You just see the middle class version of this on mumsnet, as they make up most of the user base.

Squishymallows · 12/08/2025 15:52

Yeah because the middle is squeezed the hardest

scalt · 12/08/2025 15:53

Tony Blair: "We're all middle class, call me Tony."
Boris Johnson: "I'm a man of the people, call me Boris."
Nigel Farage: "I speak for middle England, call me Nigel."

If the above statements are true, why are we not all extremely wealthy like they are?

Moonlightfrog · 12/08/2025 15:54

I agree OP, though it probably won’t go down well here as MN is kept alive with middle class moaning 😉.

ponyprincess · 12/08/2025 15:55

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:47

No, just someone capable of forming an opinion without needing a press pass.

And without giving any context

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/08/2025 15:58

Only on here.

pearberry · 12/08/2025 16:15

YANBU, with some caveats.

Some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they can see that although they're personally OK, the UK is very unequal in general.

And some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they think they are poorer than they actually are (see third link).

And some middle-class people don't care about inequality because they perceive that poorer people have it easier (e.g. all the "free" stuff they get, which is meant to even out some of the difference, but of course doesn't actually do it very well). Like that thread recently where someone was convinced a neighbour earning less than her had more disposable income (whether or not that was actually the case, and ignoring all the other differences between them!).

Obviously the benefit system is not well-designed, and there are some steep drops at certain points (my partner doesn't work more at his minimum wage job, partly because he would only keep 45% of the extra, on UC, and he'd rather have the time than the money). But there is also usually room to simplify one's lifestyle if one earns plenty but still feels poor. People tend to spend what they have available.

And even if a middle-class family did have proportionally less disposable income than a poorer family, they would still likely have more in absolute terms (and often assets such as a house).

Our household income is in the lowest decile, and we're in the precariat (lowest class) according to the BBC calculator. I complain about inequality in general, but not so much my own situation; we're mostly OK (though of course it could always be easier!).

Income percentile calculator: https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

BBC modern class calculator: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/2013/newsspec_5093/index.stm

Conversation article: theconversation.com/where-you-think-you-are-in-society-not-where-you-actually-are-matters-for-how-you-think-about-inequality-259715

The Great British class calculator

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/2013/newsspec_5093/index.stm

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:15

There is no class.

That is a very old fashioned notion.

Are you in the 1800's?

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 16:24

I think you'll see a lot of it on here because the demographic is middle class more than anything, but I do agree that many posters on here who describe themselves as middle class or more often than not 'The squeezed middle', have painted themselves as the poor, hapless victims who work hard and make sacrifices while they pay for everyone else to live it up on benefits and get absolutely nothing in return.

When the COL started to bite at the ankles of people on lower incomes but the 'middle' didn't notice so much, it was all your own fault for not being and doing better, not having a better job, not working hard enough, wasting money or not cutting your cloth accordingly, now it's snapping at middle ankles, it's because wages are stagnating and the COL is rocketing and everyone expects them to pay for everything, do all the work and get nothing in return.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:24

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 16:24

I think you'll see a lot of it on here because the demographic is middle class more than anything, but I do agree that many posters on here who describe themselves as middle class or more often than not 'The squeezed middle', have painted themselves as the poor, hapless victims who work hard and make sacrifices while they pay for everyone else to live it up on benefits and get absolutely nothing in return.

When the COL started to bite at the ankles of people on lower incomes but the 'middle' didn't notice so much, it was all your own fault for not being and doing better, not having a better job, not working hard enough, wasting money or not cutting your cloth accordingly, now it's snapping at middle ankles, it's because wages are stagnating and the COL is rocketing and everyone expects them to pay for everything, do all the work and get nothing in return.

Are you serious.

There is no "middle class".

How could there possibly be a middle class of people.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:29

MidnightPatrol · 12/08/2025 15:51

Everyone is complaining at all income levels.

You just see the middle class version of this on mumsnet, as they make up most of the user base.

How do you know the "middle class" make u up most of the user base.

There is no way for you to know anyone's income level on here.

Do you think that poor people don't have access to the internet? Bizarre!

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 16:42

I disagree, I think there are 'classes' or maybe 'groups' (?) because not everyone earns the same amount and not everyone lives the same lifestyle.

But if you don't believe it's a thing then we're free to disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 16:53

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 15:27

Maybe!

Who qualifies as the poor’, and who are ‘the middle class’ and who are ‘the rich’, according to you?

@BluntCoralWren can you answer me with clear descriptions / definitions of your categories? Without that it’s meaningless.

pizzaHeart · 12/08/2025 16:54

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:47

No, just someone capable of forming an opinion without needing a press pass.

Aaaa, middle class then

legsekeven · 12/08/2025 16:56

So what is middle class/poor/rich

MidnightPatrol · 12/08/2025 16:57

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:29

How do you know the "middle class" make u up most of the user base.

There is no way for you to know anyone's income level on here.

Do you think that poor people don't have access to the internet? Bizarre!

Mumsnet is famously very middle class…!

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:00

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 16:42

I disagree, I think there are 'classes' or maybe 'groups' (?) because not everyone earns the same amount and not everyone lives the same lifestyle.

But if you don't believe it's a thing then we're free to disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️.

People dont earn the same salary all their life do they. So no one stays in the same class/band.

Eg one of my cousins was poor in her twenties. Then she worked her way up to manager. Now she is regional manager

One of my other cousins was a single mother on benefits in her twenties.

She went back to Uni in her thirties and she is now a psychologist earning a lot.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:01

MidnightPatrol · 12/08/2025 16:57

Mumsnet is famously very middle class…!

"Famously".?

Where is it famous as middle class.

Its not.