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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the middle class complain more than the poor or rich?

66 replies

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:18

The poor just get on with surviving, the rich are cushioned but the middle class moan endlessly about everything from schools to holidays. AIBU?

OP posts:
pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:02

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 16:42

I disagree, I think there are 'classes' or maybe 'groups' (?) because not everyone earns the same amount and not everyone lives the same lifestyle.

But if you don't believe it's a thing then we're free to disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️.

If you don't see how the word "class" is offensive, I don't know how to help you

Poopeepoopee · 12/08/2025 17:02

pearberry · 12/08/2025 16:15

YANBU, with some caveats.

Some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they can see that although they're personally OK, the UK is very unequal in general.

And some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they think they are poorer than they actually are (see third link).

And some middle-class people don't care about inequality because they perceive that poorer people have it easier (e.g. all the "free" stuff they get, which is meant to even out some of the difference, but of course doesn't actually do it very well). Like that thread recently where someone was convinced a neighbour earning less than her had more disposable income (whether or not that was actually the case, and ignoring all the other differences between them!).

Obviously the benefit system is not well-designed, and there are some steep drops at certain points (my partner doesn't work more at his minimum wage job, partly because he would only keep 45% of the extra, on UC, and he'd rather have the time than the money). But there is also usually room to simplify one's lifestyle if one earns plenty but still feels poor. People tend to spend what they have available.

And even if a middle-class family did have proportionally less disposable income than a poorer family, they would still likely have more in absolute terms (and often assets such as a house).

Our household income is in the lowest decile, and we're in the precariat (lowest class) according to the BBC calculator. I complain about inequality in general, but not so much my own situation; we're mostly OK (though of course it could always be easier!).

Income percentile calculator: https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

BBC modern class calculator: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/2013/newsspec_5093/index.stm

Conversation article: theconversation.com/where-you-think-you-are-in-society-not-where-you-actually-are-matters-for-how-you-think-about-inequality-259715

Linky no worky

kim204 · 12/08/2025 17:03

Yes but what's better than a good moan every now and then? I mean I'd say a good gossip but apparently that's terrible too - not too mention how rich you are or how intelligent you are or how well your kids are doing. Religion and politics always too controversial to go well.

Really all we have left is the weather. Are we still allowed to talk about that?

Straightjacketsandroses · 12/08/2025 17:03

It is because we fund a vast welfare state and get nothing in return. All this talk of potentially having to pay for GP appointments etc on a means tested basis proves that; I will pay into a service through tax which I will then pay again for at point of contact. Meanwhile, people paying nothing in will continue getting services for free. That is why the middle classes - particularly the higher earners - moan more.

Poopeepoopee · 12/08/2025 17:04

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:01

"Famously".?

Where is it famous as middle class.

Its not.

Show quote history

No it's not in my opinion either. It may have been 25 years ago but it's decidedly working class these days which is obviously more representative of society.

DeLaRuiz · 12/08/2025 17:06

The threads here are so immature lately. Sweeping generalisations, ageism, misogyny, photos of veruccas … blimey. Classism again today. The great urge to “ other” and do a pointy finger is swamping MN.

pearberry · 12/08/2025 17:09

Poopeepoopee · 12/08/2025 17:02

Linky no worky

Show quote history

It seems to add a formatting bit on the end when you actually click on it.

Just delete the </a> from the end of the address when it's loaded, and then reload it.

DorothyWainwright · 12/08/2025 17:12

Everyone ignores the poor when they complain. Try living in an estate "managed" by a housing association. They couldn't give a shit about residents

Darkling1 · 12/08/2025 17:13

Believe me, the working class are complaining too.

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:17

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:15

There is no class.

That is a very old fashioned notion.

Are you in the 1800's?

Edited

If you genuinely think that, you really haven't been paying attention. Britain literally runs on the class system.

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 17:18

DeLaRuiz · 12/08/2025 17:06

The threads here are so immature lately. Sweeping generalisations, ageism, misogyny, photos of veruccas … blimey. Classism again today. The great urge to “ other” and do a pointy finger is swamping MN.

Well our current government did campaign on the basis of classism. With their ‘working people’ bullshit. Top down division from Labour. Nice.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:20

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:17

If you genuinely think that, you really haven't been paying attention. Britain literally runs on the class system.

Show quote history

How exactly does it run on the class system, pray tell.

No one that I know in real life in England, ever uses the word class.

Laladipsypo · 12/08/2025 17:20

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:29

How do you know the "middle class" make u up most of the user base.

There is no way for you to know anyone's income level on here.

Do you think that poor people don't have access to the internet? Bizarre!

Show quote history

Have you been on mumsnet long - it’s an unusual place. A lot of “ higher earners “
exceptionally academically gifted children
🤣🤣

Laladipsypo · 12/08/2025 17:20

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:29

How do you know the "middle class" make u up most of the user base.

There is no way for you to know anyone's income level on here.

Do you think that poor people don't have access to the internet? Bizarre!

Show quote history

Have you been on mumsnet long - it’s an unusual place. A lot of “ higher earners “
exceptionally academically gifted children
🤣🤣

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:25

Laladipsypo · 12/08/2025 17:20

Have you been on mumsnet long - it’s an unusual place. A lot of “ higher earners “
exceptionally academically gifted children
🤣🤣

Show quote history

Yeah ive been on here for a long time. I have seen rich people post and i have seen poor people post on mumsnet

There definitely is not just one "class" on here.

"Middle class" people probably like to think that mumsnet is "middle class"

as being middle clsss is all about exclusivity , thinking hey are better than poorer people, and looking down on poorer people

Eg

"There are no poor people on mumsnet m
Arabella, it is exclusively middle class. It is for the likes of us"

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:27

I can't believe that some people still talk about class in 2025.

I have never heard the word class being used outside of England.

England really needs to move forward and get out of the dark ages.

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:27

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:20

How exactly does it run on the class system, pray tell.

No one that I know in real life in England, ever uses the word class.

Show quote history

And no-one I know in real life in England EVER uses the words 'pray tell'. It generally marks one out as a condescending middle class know all. So there you go!

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:29

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:27

And no-one I know in real life in England EVER uses the words 'pray tell'. It generally marks one out as a condescending middle class know all. So there you go!

Show quote history

Exactly.

I was using the term "pray tell" sarcastically, to mildly mock the people who think that they are middle class on here.

The sarcasm went over your head.

Lament7189 · 12/08/2025 17:30

The main reason is because there’s a group of people who feel they’re taken advantage of who often have options.

If you’re a lower earner you have no option other than to carry on.

If you’re wealthy you can just carry on doing what you want.

If you’re a net contributor (need to earn 70k for that) but not wealthy you feel abused by the system especially if you earn 100k+ as you pay in plenty and get very little back.

People in this group are angry and considering options such as working less. As they have options they voice their concerns. If you have no options then what’s the point.

frozendaisy · 12/08/2025 17:30

Moaning is classless @BluntCoralWren

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:31

No one has answered this.

To the people that believe in class, what makes someone "middle class"

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 17:45

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:02

If you don't see how the word "class" is offensive, I don't know how to help you

Show quote history

What do you think I need help with? I'm not sure why you'd concern yourself with that when clearly from your posts you hold anyone who's thoughts don't align with yours in contempt, and as mine clearly don't I obviously fall into that category, group or 'class' 🤷🏼‍♀️.

From your tone you sound like you just want an argument tbh.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 12/08/2025 17:50

Being the squeezed middle is no fun. Earn too much to be eligible for any benefits. Don’t earn enough to have a decent standard of living.

smugmugg · 12/08/2025 17:56

the middle class are shrinking and are joining the poor hence the complaining

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