Visiting children jumping on arms / back of my sofas

[Poodlelove]

Two occasions this week.
Mum and two children aged 10 and 12 .
Mum sits crossed legged on my sofa with sandals on , the children lie on the arm of sofa, the two children then had an argument and chased each other by running along the back of my sofa.

Other occasion children visiting throw ball for my dogs inside after me telling them not to , and hitting the TV.Ths mum says nothing .

Is this normal ?

Just tell them to bloody stop.

No. It’s not. My youngest loves climbing on the sofa - he was told off constantly for it.

Just say ‘please don’t let them mess around on the sofa’

No, not normal in my house but if the Mum didn't comment on the running across the back of the sofa (i'd be mortified!) then it must be normal in their house.
If my friends kids did that on my sofa though I would tell them off myself, or at least a 'please don't stand/run on my sofa, you'll ruin it'

If that happens, a normal reaction is to say 'Feet off the chairs, please' in a firm voice.
You shouldn't need to have to say it but you do.

With the ball throwing, they'd have been asked to leave.

If it's normal? No, at that age they should know better. But it's all down to crap parenting. I would be fuming if my kids behaved like that but they know that so don't even do that ar home. I wouldn't even consider having that excuse of a mother in my home again. If you do you will need to be the parent to all of them and lay down some ground rules and then sternly enforce them. But why would you want to do that?

I’m curious as to why you didn’t just tell them to stop?!

No it’s not. Clearly their bad behaviour comes from the mother who sits their with shoes on your couch and useless.
I would even tell her off!

I had some badly behaved guests recently, kids aged 5 and 6.
I gave them a firm ‘hey, no behaving badly on the couches. Sit nicely like X’ who is my toddler and was so well behaved.
Another useless mother sitting there watching her kids do this and say nothing! She was really embarrassed and probably the first time anyone told her kids off.

It's only normal if you allow it to be.

Mum with feet on sofa 'sorry we don't allow shoes on furniture '

Children on back of sofa 'you mustn't do that here.'

Ball hitting TV 'I think you need to go home now'. To mother, and don't bother coming back.

10 and 12?
what on earth?

A 10 and 12 year old ran across the back of your sofa? They must have good balance that's all I can say.

Open your mouth and say something. 10 and 12 is way too old to be behaving in that way, although it's pretty obvious where they get it from if their mother has her shoes on your sofa.

You need to speak up!

"Hey, brats, can you stop that please! Not sure what you are allowed to do at home, but I don't like it"

You don't have to shout or "tell them off" just make it clear that it doesn't happen in your house.

Not in my circles no. But the sandals would’ve been taken off at the door!

Looking at the ages my 11 year old hasn’t tried to do it since about 8/9. My eldest didn’t even try when they were younger.

You need to say something . The parents have probably given up. But no it isnt normal.

My children climbed over our sofas as they were old and shit. They did it in someone else’s house as it was normal to them. The mum asked me to ask them not to which I promptly did, explaining there are different rules in different houses.

It was no big deal, no one was offended or upset. It doesn’t have to be a drama.

Well I would expect most mothers to tell their children not to do this in no uncertain terms!
However, as PPs have said, the apple clearly has not fallen far from the tree.
As the hostess all you can do is make it clear that this is not acceptable in your home or maybe try a diversionary tactic - “If you want to play ball why don’t you go in the garden?” “Come and see (something interesting)!” “I’ve got a game here - shall we play?”

You say to the mum "oh Sandra, do you mind taking your shoes off please?"

You say to the kids "If you want to run around like monkeys go in the garden. If you want to stay inside, sit down and behave like humans" And if they don't stop "Right! Outside NOW"

Your house your rules

This is a no shoes house and here are some socks for your sweaty feet

Kids get off my bloody sofa you entitled spoilt brats no climbing on the furniture please in this house thanks

Hey! Get off the sofa! To the kids running on the back of the sofa.

Balls are outdoors only.

We don't wear shoes in the house so she and kids would be asked to leave them in the entryway. Ewewew.

It sounds like she and her kids are someone you should be meeting in the park. If these kids are 10 and 12, they're going to be doing damage on your home.

My eldest is 7 and the throwing himself around furniture is our biggest battle, he just forgets and he's massively tall but ND so a bit delayed on impulse control. I am constantly stopping him jumping or climbing on our furniture but at someone else's house he's generally much more aware of different rules in different people's houses so it's easier to get him to stop. No way I'd just sit and let him but I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't try. He takes his shoes off as soon as he comes indoors which helps a tiny bit but I will grab and restrain if needed (much less these days but under 5 he was like an excited bunny)

Well you say no one was offended but the mum obviously was or she wouldn’t have asked you to ask them to stop.

And you don’t know who else you offended who didn’t say anything but silently took it.

Your house, up to you to set the rules and enforce them.

Flipping rude people everywhere it seems. I had someone bring his kids when doing a quote recently. They were about 8 and 10. Started kicking a ball around my garden by all my windows and pot plants, when I was discussing potential job. I was not happy at all. I didn't hire him.

Do you have to meet these people at yours? Could you meet at a park or on a walk? It’s the middle of the summer hols for many and some children have gone a bit wilder than usual.